"The Global Consciousness Project, also known as the EGG Project, is an international multidisciplinary collaboration of scientists, engineers, artists and others continuously collecting data from a global network of physical random number generators located in 65 host sites worldwide. The archive contains over 10 years of random data in parallel sequences of synchronized 200-bit trials every second."
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, May 26, 2018
Love is Like a Greased Pig
By Mark Gungor
“I just don’t feel what I used to feel for you.” “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.” “I believe I’ve found my soul mate…and it isn’t you.”
Or as the Righteous Brothers sang, “You’ve lost that loving feeling.”
However people want to word it, the bottom line is this: The fabulous and intense experience of our early love isn’t there anymore. I guess it wasn’t true love after all.
In the wonderful movie classic, The Princess Bride, the cotton-mouthed, speech-challenged priest talks about “true love” (Or “twuuuu wuv” as he says it!) at the wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. He states that true love will follow you forever. While it makes for a great movie line, in reality it is a bunch of nonsense. True love doesn’t follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It’s actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.
I know, I know—a greased pig isn’t all that romantic of an analogy to use, but it surely is more realistic and more accurate! Men and women who ascribe to all this romantic fantasy stuff will be sorely disappointed. So many people actually think that love and marriage will always be easy; that it will always be a skip through the meadow with birds chirping and butterflies flitting and the orchestra playing in the background. They think that the emotional high and buzz they experience at the beginning of dating or marriage will always be there. “Our love is true love and it will never fade!” That’s why so many people become disillusioned once they get into marriage—and sometimes it doesn’t take very long at all. They think that they have “fallen out of love” with their spouse once the flames of passion begin to die down to a smoldering ember.
Of course, our feelings change over time. There is no way that the initial euphoria can go on and on. It gives way to a deeper and more mature kind of love. The stages of marriage have been well documented in the research. That initial high that people experience at the onset usually only lasts six months to two years. Once the buzz is gone, the mistake that people often make is to allow their “feelings” to dictate their actions. They don’t feel that rush of emotion that they associated with love in the beginning and therefore, they assume they aren’t in love any more. Then naturally, since they don’t feel love, they reason (wrongly) that they must be true to their feelings. As a result, many Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, May 22, 2018
If you knew you would be canonized a saint and could choose your patronage now, for what cause would you cheerfully accept intercessions? Be careful in your selection: Saints become the patrons of causes they know all too well. Rita of Cascia is the patron saint of Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, April 2, 2018
How lazy are you?
Most would confess to sitting or lying around every now and then, even regularly, and doing nothing in order to relax and unwind. No dishes, no laundry, no shopping, no cooking, no house cleaning, no errands, no lawn or garden work – no matter how pleasurable, just sitting around – maybe even in loungewear, or less – and simply doing nothing but watch teevee, eat snacks, and drink.
Even a day, or two, of such doing-nothingness, or “vegetating,” can be rejuvenating. After all, the ethic of six days of work, and resting on the seventh, has significant long-standing in almost every society and culture worldwide.
And in actuality, little, if anything, is ever made of anyone who does that, even with calculable regularity. But the person who does that habitually, justifiably earns our ire, and they are few, and far between.
No one would imagine calling anyone “lazy” who regularly took a day or two of such relaxation. But consider this: Even if in the small seemingly inconsequential things we do nothing, we run the risk of active destruction. Here’s what I mean.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, January 22, 2018
“A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl’s best friend,”sang late starlet Marilyn Monroe in the 1953 movie “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”
But since when did diamonds become valuable?
And how did clear pieces of carbon, nothing more than mere coal, a dirty fossil fuel, come to symbolize – of all things – “love”?
They’re certainly not rare (though for a brief time, they were), and in fact, they are significantly more abundant than gold – though you likely wouldn’t be aware of it, per se – and because diamonds are the hardest substance known to science, it’s not uncommon to find diamond abrasives in any hardware store, or construction site. They’re even on fingernail files. But since when did you ever see a golden saw, or golden fingernail file?
But first, some supply-and-demand “backstory” mixed with market manipulation and eventual monopoly… and then back again.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Most people muddle through life without ever thinking about what they do, why they respond the way they do, how they can become better people, improve their emotional stability, change they way they respond, or increase their understanding of others or their relationships with them.
Why?
It’s not as if people are born as experts on themselves or human relationships. And merely “being oneself” is no guarantee of anything remotely resembling self understanding.
It’s important to talk about how we feel, and what we think without negative criticism from each other. Open lines of communication are imperative to maintaining and nourishing relationships. Communication must be ongoing, open, honest, and without strident tones and condemnation.
It would seem reasonable then, to seek understanding not only about oneself, but about others, and relationships, and to endeavor to improve oneself and one’s relationships with others… especially and particularly familial and spousal relationships. Could it be that bilateral lack of such effort – aka LAZINESS – is responsible for the increase in divorce rates in America? For lack of genuine emotional intimacy? Lack of sexual intimacy? Lack of proper parenting?
People are not born smart. We’re born stupid. It’s a choice to remain that way.
—//—
“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
– Gary Chapman
It’s Not Me, It’s You: Why Criticism Poisons Happy Marriages By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
Criticism is an insidious behavior that comes into marriage and eats at the core of our identity. Few things will shut down intimacy quite like being criticized or controlled, and it is capable of immobilizing your emotional health and personal growth, especially within your relationship.
Nobody enjoys being criticized or picked apart, but it’s especially painful when your spouse – your soul mate – is the one being critical and hurtful to you. It’s demoralizing to be treated this way when you’re doing your best to make a contribution and add value to your relationship… but you get criticized instead of appreciated. Criticism can easily break a heart, and that’s a terrible place to be in your marriage.
What makes a person critical?
We often refer to critical people as “control freaks” or “high-maintenance people.” Control freaks are compelled to Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, July 15, 2017
Saint Bonaventure had the “good fortune,” as his name means, of knowing other saints in his lifetime. His parents Giovanni di Fidanza and Maria Ritella named him Giovanni di Fidanza, bit legend has it that he was given his name Bonaventure by Saint Francis of Assisi, whose Franciscan order Bonaventure joined.
After making his vows, he was sent to complete his studies in Paris. While there, he became good friends with Saint Thomas Aquinas, with whom he received the degree of Doctor, and developed a friendship with Saint Louis, King of France.
Saint Bonaventure is known for his leadership of the Franciscans and his significant intellectual contributions to theology and philosophy. St. Bonaventure also wrote numerous mystical and ascetical treatises, perhaps most famously, “The Soul’s Journey into God.”
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Could Phubbing Be Secretly Ruining Your Marriage?
By Kylie Matthew
(This IS a problem. I see it all too often in my counseling practice. – Debbie Preece, MA)
New research suggests this pernicious problem is wrecking emotional havoc.
Do you spend more quality time with your phone than you do with your spouse? Are you compulsively checking for notifications and endlessly scrolling through your social media feeds while in the presence of your honey?
If this sounds like you, you may be one of millions of people experiencing what is a relatively new psychological condition known as ‘phubbing’ that, according to influential new research, may be slowly eroding your relationship with your partner.
Phone addiction is a ‘thing.’ Seriously
Phubbing is a portmanteau of ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’ and occurs when conversation is interrupted by attention being given to a smart phone rather than the person you’re with. When it’s your loved one who bears the brunt of this compulsive action, it’s called phubbing – partner phone snubbing.
It’s a phenomenon directly resulting from the emergence of ‘phone addiction’ that, according to an extensive review of recent studies on the condition, is a problem tightly linked to unprecedented technological development over the past decade.
Unlike other forms of behavioral addiction such as gambling or gaming, in the same report it was noted that phone addiction seemingly affects young, extroverted women more than anyone else. (All ages and sexes are vulnerable.)
This isn’t surprising according to one of Australia’s foremost experts on relationships. “This is Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, November 13, 2016
A longtime, and dear friend recently chose to share her own very personal story.
I share it here with her permission.
Though I am certain she would not object, I have chosen to omit her name.
The reader should be aware that Ethan is her and her husband’s young boy, and firstborn.
Used With Permission
—/—
This is private, but I am going to put it out there to put a face on an issue for some of my friends.
On Tuesday, I lost two great sources of hope for the future. One was the election, but the other was more personal. Midday, before the polls ever closed, and right as I was returning one turf to Headquarters to pick up another, I got a phone call that brought me to my knees.
I was pregnant, ya’ll. I was 11 weeks on Election Day, and it had been a dicey start, but we thought we had made it. We were already discussing adorable ways to make it FB official. We anxiously awaited the results of this genetic test that would tell us the sex, so we could hopefully rest a bit easier if it was a girl (because of the pattern of kidney disease in my family).
The doc gently informed me that it was a little boy, and he had trisomy 18. Either I would naturally miscarry, or I would watch my baby die a slow and painful death over the course of a few days, months, or maybe a year. My worst nightmare was coming true, and I was terrified that I would Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, October 4, 2015
Update: Saturday, 20 February 2021 NOTE: TO THE READER: As you read any story mentioning, involving or written by Donald V. Watkins, Sr., it must be borne in mind that he is now a Federal Convict, and along with his son, Donald V. Watkins, Jr., was found guilty of numerous charges. “Donald Watkins Sr. was convicted of seven counts of wire fraud, two counts of bank fraud and one count of conspiracy. Donald Watkins Jr. was convicted of one count of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy.” As of the date of this note, he is in Federal Custody at Oklahoma City Federal Transfer Center, an administrative security facility, having been relocated away from the minimum security Federal Prison Camp on Maxwell Air Force Base in Montgomery, Alabama.
Here also is the SUPERSEDING INDICTMENT dated December 2018 entitled as:
IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF ALABAMA SOUTHERN DIVISION, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA v. DONALD V. WATKINS, SR. and DONALD V. WATKINS, JR. – 2:18-cr-166-KOB-TMP https://www.justice.gov/opa/press-release/file/1116081/download
Since our initial September 4, 2015 edition, we published a series of articles titled, “Forbidden Love” and “Executive Betrayal.” Those articles disclosed a flaming love affair between Alabama Governor Robert Bentley and Rebekah Caldwell Mason, his married paramour and Senior Political Adviser. The adulterous love affair was underwritten by taxpayers, donors to the governor’s campaign organization, and contributors to a 501(c)(4) non-profit corporation that Bentley used as a slush fund to sponsor his personal affair with Rebekah.
Alabama Governor Bentley with paramour/ Rebekah Caldwell Mason
Infidelity between two married “Christian” lovers is a moral and religious issue. The use of state and federal funds along with donor money to carry on and conceal the affair is a criminal matter.
Bentley’s case is dripping with evidence of wire and mail fraud, money laundering, conspiracy, misuse of public funds, and Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Matters of relationships, marriage, or sexuality don’t often appear herein, but there are occasions in which they do. It’s somewhat like a PSA (Public Service Announcement), not often heard, but occasionally beneficial and necessary for select and interested parties. It is in that perspective that I offer the following.
Enjoy!
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How to Keep Sex Fun
by Gary and Barbara Rosberg
During an interview with Christian sex therapists Clifford and Joyce Penner, e-Harmony founder Neil Clark Warren asked, “What percentage of couples can attain a mutually satisfying sexual relationship?” The Penners responded, “100 percent of them. We’ve never worked with a single married couple whom we felt were incapable of attaining a high level of sexual satisfaction with each other.”
Couples often ask us how to keep the excitement in sex. Our answer: Stay connected. Being connected body to body and heart to heart is what makes sex fulfilling and fun. Here are 13 ways you and your spouse can have more passion.
1. Kiss deeply.
Do you remember the kind of kissing you did when you first fell in love? Do you still kiss that deeply and passionately? Rediscover passionate kissing. Take your time. Enjoy the touch and taste of each other’s lips.
2. Bask in the afterglow.
Savor the closeness you feel after having sex. Stay in each other’s arms. Tell your spouse how good it felt and how much you love him or her. This is one of the most intimate times as a couple.
3. Become a student of your spouse’s sexual zones.
One episode of the sitcom Friends dealt with the different erogenous zones. The characters were discussing Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, July 30, 2014
The Different Ways Men and Women Communicate
by Stephen Martin and Victoria Costello
Although not uniformly present in all couples, gender differences in communication style and content preferences are common enough to wreak havoc in many marriages. It’s important to remember that these differences can make communication in marriage more difficult, but on their own they do not cause marital breakdowns. They can also lead to joy and delight if you recognize the differences and appreciate each other for them.
The Way Women Communicate
Research is now proving beyond a shadow of a doubt what you’ve probably known since you entered adolescence and began paying serious attention to the opposite sex: Men and women tend to talk for different reasons, and the two sexes process information differently.
Scientists have discovered that women really do hear more than men. Just think about the running debates that go on between spouses about the preferred volume of a TV or stereo. Then apply this principle to the tone used by a man and a woman in an argument. Which spouse is more likely to be impacted by a raised voice?
Fact
According to noted marriage researcher John Gottman, PhD, women are the ones who most often bring up difficult topics for discussion with their spouses, in fact 80 percent of the time. Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, notes that this communication dynamic is dominant in the “good” as well as the “bad” marriages he observes in controlled laboratory settings.
Neurologists also say that men see and perceive visual stimuli more clearly than women do. Think about maps and directions as an example. Then apply this principle to your facial expression during a difficult discussion with your husband. What is more likely to create distance: a calm, sympathetic expression or a scowl? An easier example might be how Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, July 25, 2013
Any time folks ooh & aah over how much advancement humanity has made, I am constantly reminded that we are, in many respects, comparatively speaking, still barbarians, for we know so little. There are unanswered questions galore. And it seems that the more we learn, the more we realize how much we truly do NOT know.
For example, we DO NOT know with certainty why folks become obese.
And yet, this may very well be just one part of a very complex puzzle.
—
Fertility gene that keeps body trim disappears with age
Alabama ranked as the nation’s second most religious state in 2012, behind Mississippi and tied with Utah, according to a new survey by Gallup.
The Washington, D.C.-based polling firm found that 56 percent of Alabama residents identified themselves as “very religious” – based on saying religion is an important part of their daily life and that they attend religious services every week or almost every week.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, December 31, 2012
It’s not as if we’ve not heard this before. Our grandmothers, parents and others have known this for years. And, with varying degrees of success, some Christian fundamentalists have preached a gospel of delayed sexual gratification, albeit using a basis of fear – as in asserting that extramarital sexual activity before marriage is a sin against the Almighty, oneself and one’s partner. Whether or not that is the case is not the point in this research. And then, there are those who tacitly encourage all forms of sexual gratification, by asserting that to withhold oneself from sexual pleasure is an emotionally or psychologically damaging activity.
—
Couples who wait to have sex last longer in their relationships than those who jump straight into bed together
PUBLISHED: 14:02 EST, 23 December 2012 | UPDATED: 14:02 EST, 23 December 2012
New couples who jump into bed together on the first date do not last as long in relationships as those who wait a new study has revealed.
Using a sample of almost 11,000 unmarried people, Brigham Young University discovered a direct correlation between the length and strength of a partnership and the amount of time they took to have first have sex.
The study showed that those who waited to initiate sexual intimacy were found to have longer and more positive outcomes in their relationships while those who couldn’t help themselves reported that their dalliances struggled to last more than two years.
Couples who wait to get into bed together experience longer lasting relationships than those who do not a new study has found
‘This effect was strongly moderated by relationship length, with individuals who reported early sexual initiation reporting increasingly lower outcomes in relationships of longer than two years.’
The federal appeals court ruling last week that struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act did not say whether same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry, but the decision sets the stage for what will almost certainly be a Supreme Court showdown over the unfair treatment of gay people and their families.
The ruling on Thursday by a three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit, based in Boston, marked the first time a federal appellate court had ruled against the 1996 law, which excludes same-sex couples from federal benefits accorded heterosexual married couples. (like being allowed to filed joint tax returns and to receive Social Security survivor payments).
The case was heard by two judges nominated by Republican presidents and one Democratic nominee. It involved married couples in Massachusetts, which is among the handful of states where gay couples may lawfully wed. The marriage law was being defended by lawyers hired by the Republican majority in the House after the Obama administration finally acknowledged that it was unconstitutional and decided to stop defending it in court.
The panel’s key finding was that there was no “demonstrated connection” between the law’s hurtful treatment of same-sex couples and “its asserted goal of strengthening the bonds and benefits” of heterosexual marriage. It also said another rationale for the law — that it preserves scarce federal resources — was simply not true.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 3, 2012
It’s difficult to argue with the facts.
But perhaps we should be asking ourselves this question: “Why are we doing this?”
Is this not a type of suicide?
Would it not be insane for us to NOT promote “best practice” activities?
Would it not be ludicrous for us to NOT tell someone that danger lies ahead if they embarked upon a particular path, course of action or behavior?
No one in their right mind would ever say that we loved or cared for that person precisely because we simply failed to warn them. For indeed, though we may say that we do love them, we do not behave as if we do, because love is not in words only.
In fact, love cannot exist in words only.
Love exists in evidence, and in abundance of action.
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The single-mom catastrophe
The demise of two-parent families in the U.S. has been an economic catastrophe for society.
Op-Ed
By Kay S. Hymowitz
June 3, 2012
The single-mother revolution shouldn’t need much introduction. It started in the 1960s when the nation began to sever the historical connection between marriage and childbearing and to turn single motherhood and the fatherless family into a viable, even welcome, arrangement for children and for society. The reasons for the shift were many, including the sexual revolution, a powerful strain of Read the rest of this entry »
A world in which sexual intimacy could not produce children would never have come up with the idea of marriage.
In previousarticles, I have asserted that if sex did not naturally lead to children, no one would ever have conceived the idea of marriage. My claim may be obvious to most people, but we live in a world in which people who never intend to have children get married; so, of course, do some people who want children but are infertile. In generations past, we felt compassion for those who married but did not have children, because it was presumed that they wanted children, since, after all, they married one another. No longer can we presume this. The era of contraception and surgical sterilization has altered the face, so to speak, of the childless couple, and consequently the face of the married couple.
The quest for same-sex marriage begins here. In a world where seeking marriage is seeking a community-endorsed way to have sex and bear children, the idea of same-sex marriage is like the idea of a square circle. The very idea of same-sex marriage is conceivable only in a world that is using the term “marriage” in a completely different way, to refer to something of a completely different nature.
Allow me, then, to make a case for my assertion about sex, children, and marriage through a “thought experiment”—a scenario in which human beings have no word for, no concept of, marriage.
Imagine a colony of young men who have no memory of ever having lived anywhere else. Properly speaking, the men do not even know that they are men, but only that they are different from all the other creatures they encounter. They hunt and gather. They are naturally social beings who care about each other, form friendships, try to please one another, generally Read the rest of this entry »
Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? Have you ever wondered, looking at his rapidly departing back, “Why did that make him so angry?”
Have you ever been perplexed by your husband‘s defensiveness when you ask him to stop working so much? Yeah? Me too.
But now, after conducting spoken and written interviews with more than one thousand men, I can tell you that the answers to those and dozens of other common perplexities are all related to what is going on in your man’s inner life.
Most are things he wishes you knew but doesn’t know how to tell you. In some cases, they’re things he has no idea you don’t know.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Just as in our physical life, when we fall down, it’s because we lose our balance.
It’s not our sense of equilibrium that is lost – it may still be intact – but our physical bodies, the thing we use to communicate with the external world, has taken a spill.
It’s important to get back up, and to continue toward a path that leads to understanding.
Remember: It’s important to think about how you think.
I see it all the time as a counselor. We’ve all felt it: the “Hey, what about me?” syndrome. Sometimes it sneaks up on us when we feel that our emotional needs aren’t being met – and we resent it. Or maybe we have a hard-to-love spouse and we’re tired of trying to make things work. That’s when the “Hey, what about me?” syndrome hits. When does it come? It’s when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves – or just plain tired of trying – what can we do?
Choose.
Choose to make wise decisions.
Don’t rely on feelings or emotions when the going gets tough.
Our feelings don’t carry us to the right decisions; rather right decisions carry us to right emotions – and positive rewards. Here are a few ways you can exercise your will over your emotions:
My husband, Bill, and I have counseled couples back to happiness from all kinds of crises: loss of a child, loss of a home, all kinds of addictions, affairs, and a whole lot Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, April 16, 2012
To put yourself on a more sure foundation for establishing a successful marriage, just don’t do it.
Cohabit, that is.
Human nature being what it is, we don’t often like being told not to do things.
We take particular delight in going against the grain. The reasons why are myriad. And yet, at times, there have been valid reasons why, or why we should not to do things, that – for one reason or another – have not been communicated effectively, if at all.
One area in which ineffective communication has occurred is pre-marital relationships.
Sure, there are various colloquialisms for the notion and practice of cohabiting – such as “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” “try before you buy,” and others – some of which many of us have heard for years. What’s interesting to note, is that we’re now discovering, is that, well… they were right.
But again, the problem with those aphorisms, no matter how true they may be, is that they presume a certain level of understanding. They presume communication has occurred, and that the understanding and rationale of the question ‘why’ is present.
As we’re finding out, the understanding and rationale of the question ‘why’ is absent, which also means that a certain level of understanding is absent, which therefore means that the foundation for the truth of the aphorism is entirely absent.
Read on to learn more about the fascinating findings.
AT 32, one of my clients (I’ll call her Jennifer) had a lavish wine-country wedding. By then, Jennifer and her boyfriend had lived together for more than four years. The event was attended by the couple’s friends, families and two dogs.
The BIG slide - what does it mean? (Illustration by Karen Katz)
When Jennifer started therapy with me less than a year later, she was looking for a divorce lawyer. “I spent more time planning my wedding than I spent happily married,” she sobbed. Most disheartening to Jennifer was that she’d tried to do everything right. “My parents got married young so, of course, they got divorced. We lived together! How did this happen?”
Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, April 13, 2012
Marriage Tips
Sometimes Sex is Just Sex
By Mark Gungor
Many married people are not having an active sex life for no other reason than they “don’t feel like it” – meaning they think they have to feel this great desire and/or a huge emotional connection at the front end or sex isn’t going to happen. Now, I’ll dispel this myth regarding the requirement of a huge emotional connection.
Women, more often than men, get hung up on this one and think they have to have all these warm and fuzzy emotions to feel like they can get physical with their husbands. I’m not saying that you always have sex with no emotion or connection – that would not be a healthy relationship. But what I am saying is that sometimes sex can just be sex. The joining together of a husband and wife to get close to each other, relieve stress, enjoy the release and just have a good time enjoying one another – no romance novel level of desire or surge of emotions required! Again, much of this comes from the media – with chick flicks being a huge culprit.
There are a couple of things that you must understand about Hollywood sex… First, it is not real; they are actors and they are being paid to act! Second, and probably most important, Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 16, 2012
It’s been said concerning marriage, that folks are attracted to each other because they make each other horny – if for no other reason.
Then, they get married – ’cause they think 0ne another other “hot.” And, that they are. It’s a case of pure, raging hormones. “Estrogen calling testosterone… come in testosterone. Oh… there you are!”
The sex comes easy. Then, to stay married, they figure out and learn how to live with each other.
And that requires a whole lotta’ work and forgiveness.
Marriages start out tender and loving… but demanding careers and the daily job of running a home and raising children turn too many relationships into cold, methodical business arrangements.
As a marital therapist for more than 25 years, I’ve found that most couples have little time or energy for the complicated “relationship exercises” that are frequently suggested by some therapists. So I’ve developed very simple strategies built on basic truths about what makes love last. These strategies can be integrated easily into everyday life to reverse negative relationship patterns and build on positive ones.
They are effective even if just one spouse starts practicing them.
* Make your spouse feel good about himself/herself — and then your spouse will feel good about you. In strong, loving relationships, couples make ego-boosting comments to each other every day.
“Cherish is the word I use to describe
“All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
“You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you
“You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you
“You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could
“Mold you into someone who could
“Cherish me as much as I cherish you.”
Of course, the title of the song is – appropriately enough – Cherish, which was their first #1 song, which topped the charts in 1966.
They had other hit songs, among them “Never my love,” and “Along Comes Mary.” While it has been recorded by many other artists, “Cherish” remains perhaps their best-known work, which is also a BMI Award Winning song.
Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, said, “Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question: What does a woman want?”
New research says it’s hugs not hanky-panky that keeps couples together. According to new research, the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than how often you’re swinging from the chandeliers says the Daily Mail. “Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” explains Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship.
In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, January 13, 2012
Sometimes, we don’t think enough of our marital relationship, while at others, we think too much. Somewhere in the middle, there’s a happy land.
Ten Sex Secrets of Really Happy Couples
They don’t do it every day (whew!). They believe in quickies (yay!). Read on for other reassuring truths about what a sexually healthy marriage looks like. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, January 9, 2012
Periodically, in this blog I have shared tips for spouses – husbands & wives – to improve the quality of their marriage. Typically, those entries have been from other reputable sources, not merely my opinion, nor something from a popular consumer magazine that presents the relationship “flavor of the day.”
Love, it has been said, is a commitment – it is neither exclusively, nor merely a good feeling based upon a mutual attraction, sexual or otherwise. Because love is a commitment, there are certain things that one should do to honor and demonstrate the commitment. Oftentimes as well, those commitments have been unspoken – although they may occupy significant real estate silently in our imaginations. It is precisely those times that the unspoken should be spoken.
With an eye toward speaking the unspoken, I share with you the following.
List of 20 Absolute Face-to-Face Commitments
By Paul D. Refior
Copyright 1994, 1998 and 2005
You will certainly agree that marriage is infinitely more than a list of do’s and don’ts.
Yet one of the problems these days is that so many couples fail or refuse to acknowledge important do’s and don’ts, and these couples do not make or fulfill important commitments and promises. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, December 18, 2011
Yeah.
Sex.
Okay.
Never thought you’d ever read about that here, now did you?
Read on.
#1: WET HANDS
Yep, it is the wet hands technique. Certainly one of the most popular among most women polled for this article. So simple. So exciting. You will leave her breathless. Read the rest of this entry »
And yet, many so-called family groups produce so many damning critiques about creative people and their craft. It’s most unfortunate that Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, December 9, 2011
The Beatles’ 1963 hit “And when I touch you I feel happy, inside. It´s such a feeling, That my love, I can’t hide. I wanna’ hold your hand, I wanna’ hold your hand.”
Did they have it so wrong, or did that song indicate something that for years we have taken for granted?
The hecticness of work, community service projects, church activities and family often relegates a marriage relationship to the bottom of the list.
At times, it is necessary to give attention to others. It is also important to keep something else in mind: Your spouse is the one most likely to be with you when you are teetering around with a cane! With that in mind, take time to date your spouse regularly. Here are a few reasons why. Read the rest of this entry »
Excerpted from the book Road Warrior by Stephen Arterburn and Sam Gullucci
There are six external activities that can help you build a strong intimacy in your marriage and sustain you while you are on the road and separated.
1. Laughing Together
Laughter is a doorway to intimacy. It is like an instant vacation in a marriage and the best way to keep perspective when things go wrong. If you laugh together, you can cry together, and Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 25, 2011
Often, it has seemed that in popular culture we are told one thing by the many self-proclaimed “authorities” on the teevee (aka “boob tube”) whom daily parade their guests and others as know-it-alls, while unbeknown to the viewers, there may be an ‘agenda’ behind the show – that ‘agenda’ being the promotion of the host, and their ideas, exclusively for the purpose of making money, rather than promoting something that works – for the benefit of another, regardless of whether or not it enjoys popularity in media or culture.
Also, some authors whom have risen to popularity have promoted themselves as having educational or other professional licensing credentials, when in fact, they do not – or if they do possess educational credentials, they are questionable at best. And then, others have been promoted to popularity because of Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, February 25, 2011
At it’s core, marriage is a state of human affairs permitted and governed by the state.
In this context, the word “state” refers to governmental authority. Governmental authority in the United States is defined as being the will of the people as determined by the ballot.
Why does the state regulate human affairs?
It is because of an overriding sense of justice, an overwhelming sense of right and wrong. It is because to “do wrong by” another person is a transgression of an inherent social contract that occurs at the very core of humanity, one which is by its very nature unspoken, yet fully known in the human heart.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, February 21, 2011
“The true value of recycling”
That’s but one alternative title I considered giving to this entry. There are several, I suppose, that would do equally well, such as “The Taming of the Shrew Tongue,” or something similar.
In large part, relationships are vehicles that transport us and another to a place we’ve never been before. Later, once we’ve “been there,” if we like it, we seek to return. Although at times, we find ourselves returning to a place that brings pain. Sometimes also, developments in those relationships – including our responses to those untoward or unseemly events – create patterns in our lives, ones which we would do well to learn to avoid.
Finding creative solutions to our relationship problems involves being gentle, yet firm, and foremost forgiving and foregoing our perceived “right” to return tit for tat, an eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth. When we give up our own perceived “right” to inflict punishment upon another – that person being the object of our own love – then we genuinely place ourselves as lovers, co-equals, partners in the truest sense – rather than as masters.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, January 7, 2011
From the beginning of time, marriage of a man and a woman, and the children that naturally result from that union, has created family, and continues to form the foundation of all societies the world over. We learn about relationships and how to treat others from our family. And it is to the benefit of every society to enrich the health of those foundations. Sometimes, it’s not the BIG THINGS that spoil love in marriage, as much as it is vitally important to “catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love,” of our marriage relationship.
The following relationship killers nip love in the bud. They’ll make it impossible for your partner to love you and, as a result, will cause your partner’s loving feelings to die. If any of them apply to you, it’s up to you to change yourself.
You cannot get your partner’s love back until …Continue…
In those various email messages numerous topics are discussed, all designed with the purpose of strengthening traditional marriage between a man and a woman.
And though I am not presently married, nor in a romantic relationship, I find those messages not only uplifting and encouraging, but with a common sense approach, as well.
The following message is another one of those common sense approaches. It’s about the sexual aspect of the marriage relationship.
Couples who wait to get into bed together experience longer lasting relationships than those who do not a new study has found
Official Sign, Dekalb County, Georgia
Warm Southern Breeze 