I’m Thinking About Suicide

Ever thought about suicide?

Many have.

And not all of them are depressed.

Some are epidemiologists – folks whose business it is to think about the source, causes, and prevention of disease. And then, other health professionals such as physicians, Nurses, psychologists, social workers, and others think about suicide – again, not as means to end their own lives, but for the sake of others. And yet Nurses and physicians also personally think about suicide, and often at rates greater than the average population.

I’ve thought about suicide.

I’ve thought about suicide many times.

In fact, I’m thinking about suicide as I write this entry.

But I’m not thinking about suicide as a means to end my own life.

I’m thinking about suicide because…

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The Mother Of All Role Models

Saint Cyril of Alexandria (c. 374-444) was a scholar, writer and bishop who promoted the use of the title Theotokos (“God-bearer”) for

You Are The Salt Of The Earth

Salt is such an ordinary, inexpensive, and easily found substance in most cases nowadays that you can fail to fully grasp the profound meaning of Jesus’ famous metaphor. Consider these facts about salt: While it was once known as “white gold,” salt is necessary for human life. It preserves, purifies, and enhances the flavor of food. It made civilization possible. Wars have been waged over supplies of salt; it has been taxed, hoarded, traded, and

Love is Like a Greased Pig

By Mark Gungor

“I just don’t feel what I used to feel for you.”
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”
“I believe I’ve found my soul mate…and it isn’t you.”
Or as the Righteous Brothers sang, “You’ve lost that loving feeling.”

However people want to word it, the bottom line is this: The fabulous and intense experience of our early love isn’t there anymore. I guess it wasn’t true love after all.

In the wonderful movie classic, The Princess Bride, the cotton-mouthed, speech-challenged priest talks about “true love” (Or “twuuuu wuv” as he says it!) at the wedding ceremony of Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdink. He states that true love will follow you forever. While it makes for a great movie line, in reality it is a bunch of nonsense. True love doesn’t follow you like a little puppy that is constantly there. It’s actually more like a greased pig! You have to chase after it and pursue it. You have to run it down and tackle it and when it gets away, you go after it one more time. You may finally get a hold of it for a while, but then the little rascal can slip away and you have to chase it down again.

I know, I know—a greased pig isn’t all that romantic of an analogy to use, but it surely is more realistic and more accurate! Men and women who ascribe to all this romantic fantasy stuff will be sorely disappointed. So many people actually think that love and marriage will always be easy; that it will always be a skip through the meadow with birds chirping and butterflies flitting and the orchestra playing in the background. They think that the emotional high and buzz they experience at the beginning of dating or marriage will always be there. “Our love is true love and it will never fade!” That’s why so many people become disillusioned once they get into marriage—and sometimes it doesn’t take very long at all. They think that they have “fallen out of love” with their spouse once the flames of passion begin to die down to a smoldering ember.

Of course, our feelings change over time. There is no way that the initial euphoria can go on and on. It gives way to a deeper and more mature kind of love. The stages of marriage have been well documented in the research. That initial high that people experience at the onset usually only lasts six months to two years. Once the buzz is gone, the mistake that people often make is to allow their “feelings” to dictate their actions. They don’t feel that rush of emotion that they associated with love in the beginning and therefore, they assume they aren’t in love any more. Then naturally, since they don’t feel love, they reason (wrongly) that they must be true to their feelings. As a result, many

Support Gentle, Loving Relationships

If you knew you would be canonized a saint and could choose your patronage now, for what cause would you cheerfully accept intercessions? Be careful in your selection: Saints become the patrons of causes they know all too well. Rita of Cascia is the patron saint of

Working In Absentia

Much has been written about the importance of a “ministry of presence” – of being with people in times of need. Important as presence is, there is also a “ministry of absence,” said noted spirituality author Henri Nouwen. We should never forget that it is

Fully Love

One thing Jesus never could stomach is a hypocrite. In the stories, He always prefers sincere sinners to religious fakers. It’s easy to slip into the role of a synthetic disciple without even noticing. Our religious routines — prayer, Mass attendance, lip-synched proper responses to moral issues — can go on autopilot. Meanwhile,

Look Deeply For Dignity

Saint Martin de Porres (1579-1639) was a barbershop surgeon when he joined a Dominican monastery at age 15. Soon his success with medicinal herbs and miraculous healings earned him great fame as a healer. But Martin was famous for tending to small things, too. Once, he solved the monastery’s pest problem by

At The Hour Of Our Death

A few years ago a church document had this to say about death: “Death, while starkly real and total, is the vehicle of that final offering of self which calls for the supreme act of faith in the Lord of Life.” Yes, death is

Exposing Right Wing Religious Hypocrisy

It’s time, once again, to play… “Let’s Pretend!”

Let’s pretend you’re religious. Not everyone is. Should you use the force of government, or the rule of law to mandate that others abide by the edicts of your religious convictions?

That’s the essence of what Christian Evangelicals, Protestants, Catholics and others are doing when they deny prescription birth control (contraception for women), or abortion. Here’s why: It’s religious. That’s fairly simple enough to understand. And “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” Besides, they’re cloaked under the wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing auspices of “Christian” businesses, because hey… Jesus suffered, died & was resurrected for Businesses & Corporations – right?

But the hypocrisy, religious abuse, and charlatanism doesn’t end there. If EVERY person whom opposed abortion would agree to pay for an unintended pregnancy, and accept the newborn into their home… wait – hardly anyone does that, not even religious folk. But it’s not about religion, it’s about the control, and subjugation of women, using so-called “religious” pretext.

But let’s not have logic interfere with our motives. So, here’s a series of Tweets by

Women Belong In The Picture

Women, as today’s gospel (Luke 8:1-3) makes clear, accompanied Jesus in his ministry. They left their families to follow Him and offered financial support for His mission. They stood by Him at the cross, and all four gospels place women at the tomb when the resurrected Christ is revealed. As scripture scholar Elizabeth Johnson points out in her groundbreaking book Consider Jesus: Waves of Renewal in Christology, “Jesus Christ

Emotional Suicide, Anyone?

 We are told in today’s reading (Matthew 18:21-35) that the unforgiving servant will be “tortured” for failing to forgive another, after having been forgiven himself. Because a parable is a symbolic way of talking about a profound truth, we can take the word tortured metaphorically and ask, “In what way are we ‘tortured’ when we fail to forgive?” Failing to forgive makes us hostage to our hurt. Unable to move on, we become captives, prisoners to our own resentment. Unwilling to accept the imperfections of others, we can become

Advice For Lovers Everywhere

Have you ever, in a passionate moment, had your ear gently kissed by the lips of your lover? The sensation of tenderly soft and warm skin brushed up against the lobe of your ear, or even a light flicker of the tip of the tongue anywhere on the ear is to many, sensuously delightful, and highly erotic.

For some, it’s enough to send shivers down your spine! Your entire body quivers with passionate delight!

Of course, such a moment is nothing like

A Nearly Anonymous Apostle

Poor Bartholomew, the mystery apostle. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and the Acts of the Apostles call him Bartholomew, but in John he might be the person named Nathaniel. An interesting lesson for those who think the Bible is clear about everything — even the names of the 12 apostles!

Martyrdom of St. Bartholomew, (1355-1360) Prato, Museo di Palazzo; Tradition holds that the apostle Bartholomew was martyred by being flayed alive. That brutal torture has been depicted in a variety of ways over the centuries. He is sometimes depicted holding a knife, which symbolizes his martyrdom. The artworks seem to evolve over time from showing him just before the blade strikes, to when flaying occurs and then in later works after the act, where he is draped in, or holding his own skin. Viewing those artworks reflecting the act of being skinned alive without squirming can be difficult considering the pain and blood. That is especially so in the early religious paintings of the saint.

But aren’t most of us nearly anonymous disciples ourselves? We don’t get mentioned in the church bulletin all the time, and

Let Others Lift You Up

Some say it’s good to be queen, and in the musical You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, Lucy is dismayed to learn she can’t be queen when she grows up. You have to be born one. “If I can’t be a queen,” she says, then “I’ll work and work until I’m very rich and then I will buy myself a queendom.” Good grief! Wrong on both counts. Queen saints became saints by doing

Swimming Lessons

If you’ve ever taught someone to swim, or remember what it was like for you when you learned, you’ll recall the doubt and fear — and then the realization that swimming is much easier once you let go of the fear, stop fighting the water, learn to relax and enjoy the experience. Where in your own life do fear and doubt threaten to pull you under, as happened to

The Church’s True Wealth

Fresco cycle on the life of St. Stephen and Laurentius, scene: St. Laurentius before the court of the emperor Valerian, who orders him tortured to death on a fire-grate

Saint Lawrence (225–258) was a deacon known as the keeper of the church’s treasures. That means he disbursed donated alms to the needy. In August of 258 A.D., the pagan Emperor Valerian outlawed Christianity, and Roman authorities demanded that Lawrence turn over the wealth of the church.

They first tortured him extensively looking for information on other Christians, and then they

Be Different

The routine nature of daily life can easily cause our hearts to grow dull. And when we’re feeling dull, it’s hard to be spiritually attuned and hear what Heaven has to tell us. Yet fortunately, it doesn’t take much to shake things up and get a new perspective. Just break out of a routine and do something different — take a new route to work, rearrange your furniture, clean out a junk drawer, or

You CAN!

My late father, who grew up in abject poverty in rural West Alabama in Lamar County, escaped poverty by serving in the Navy during the Korean War. Daddy said he asked his father – who had at most, a 3rd Grade education, and who, like him was well-acquainted with the backside of a mule and a plough – if he thought it would be a good idea for him to join the Navy. Daddy said that his father replied, “I think it’s a good idea. Maybe you won’t have to work as hard as I have.”

Daddy completed High School, which was almost an unheard-of thing for many in that era, especially in that location, and then went to Navy Boot Camp at San Diego, which is now San Diego Naval Air Station, where he experienced culture shock. Though he never identified it as such, his stories to me about his time there clearly indicate it was.

The idiomatic phrase “everything but the squeal” was a very real thing for him. That phrase means

Holy Ground Is All Around

You’re not looking for God in the supermarket. You don’t expect to see God in traffic. You don’t usually have a religious experience while doing homework, standing in line at the bank, or eating cereal. Moses was certainly not expecting to