Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Original Russian Tea Recipe

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Holiday season is again upon us, and many folks – particularly Southerners – are familiar with a tasty warm beverage known as “Russian Tea.”

Exactly how and where the recipe developed, and how it came by that name is somewhat unclear, but “the font of all knowledge” – and I sarcastically refer to Wikipedia – cites an article entitled “Russian Tea is Favorite Recipe in the South” by Cecily Brownstone in the November 27, 1976 issue of Kentucky New Era newspaper in Hopkinsville.

Interestingly, the story which is perhaps the newspaper’s most renown is the August 1955 Kelly-Hopkinsville Alien Encounter, which may also be known as “Kelly Green Men Case,” or the “Hopkinsville Goblins Case.” It’s a precursor of sorts to a “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” type story in which five adults and seven children reported to Hopkinsville Police that “little men with big heads and long arms,” presumably alien creatures, were attacking their farm house, and that they’d held them off with gunfire “for nearly four hours.” It all started around 7PM when one of the men went out of the house to get a bucket of water, and lasted until 0330 – that’s 3:30AM.

Who knows? Maybe they’d had too much Russian Tea. Anyway, I don’t think you’ll be doing any hallucinating, or discharging any firearms after drinking this, so it’s pretty tame stuff… unless you start adding Kentucky Bourbon or other liquor to it.

Anyway…

Spiced Tea infusion recipe in Joy of Cooking, p40

Spiced Tea infusion recipe in Joy of Cooking, p40

However, as seen in the image herein, the Read the rest of this entry »

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Criticizing Stephen Hawking

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Renown astrophysicist Stephen Hawking appeared on the Larry King Now show June 2016, and was interviewed by the esteemed long-time journalist.

In the interview, among the comments Hawking made was that “We certainly have not become less greedy or less stupid. The population has grown by half a billion since our last meeting, with no end in sight. At this rate, it will be eleven billion by 2100.”

News of the interview was covered by USA Today, and subsequently by The Intellectualist website, both which focused upon Professor Hawking‘s remark as referenced above.

This is worth noting:
The article quoted Hawking as saying, Read the rest of this entry »

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#BREAKING NEWS! Florida Man Makes Funny Picture Holding Cat. Folks Get Mad… Again.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, August 2, 2015

Recently, someone posted on FaceBook an image which almost instantly got some people frothing at the mouth.

Here’s a screenshot of the image as it appeared on Occupy Democrats FaceBook page.

The image is of a man later identified as Thomas Mcguinness of Port Charlotte, Florida, holding a cat by the scruff of its neck, who was subsequently investigated by Charlotte County Animal Control authorities. According to a report by the Fort Myers/Cape Coral News-Press, “after identifying the man in the picture as Thomas McGuinness, Animal Control officers met with him and all responsible parties, verifying that all of the domestic animals were alive and unharmed.”

Some folks get their panties in a wad...

Some folks get their panties in a wad over anything.
Note the date on the post.

I find no problem with that image, for the following reasons:

1.) Cats held in that manner are Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s A Dog’s Life… And They Called It ‘Puppy Love’

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, July 4, 2015

So, as it turns out, I bought these as a treat for my puppy. And what do you think she did? Read on to find out!

So, as it turns out, I bought these as a treat for my puppy. And what do you think she did? Read on to find out!

So…

a few days ago, as a treat,

I bought pig ears at a Kroger grocery store for Queenie, my 11 month old mixed-breed (sometimes aka “Heinz 57” – as in 57 different varieties) puppy.

Last night I Read the rest of this entry »

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Dixon, Illinois’ Penis-Shaped Church is “Rising Up”!

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, April 25, 2015

Satellite imagery of the new facility for the Christian Science Church, 324 W. First St., Dixon, IL

Satellite imagery of the new facility for the Christian Science Church, 324 W. First St., Dixon, IL

“She blinded me with science!”

Penis-Shaped Church in Dixon, IL Gets Attention

Scott Shepard from the Christian Science Church at 324 W. First St., Dixon, IL, and others are upset after a satellite image from Google Maps began to go viral, showing their new church had a rather unusual shape.

The Church recently moved into their new premises, but failed to notice the phallic design until one resident looked at the building from an aerial position using Google Earth and posted a screen shot online. The church said that “The new building was designed to Read the rest of this entry »

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Alabama Governor Bentley signs Executive Order No.4 Creating Alabama Health Care Improvement Task Force

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Yesterday, Monday, April 6, 2015, Alabama Governor Robert J. Bentley, MD signed Executive Order No.4 creating a 38-member “Alabama Health Care Improvement Task Force.”

Though the unspoken ostensible purpose of the task force is to likely make recommendations to the Governor for the expansion of Medicaid in Alabama, it’s being couched to the less-than-observant (or less-than-smart, take your pick), as a home-grown alternative to the big bad wolf of D.C. known as “ObamaCare.”

Again, for the benefit of the uneducated, in addition to decreasing fraud, waste and abuse, increasing efficiency, eliminating discrimination against women, children & people with “pre-existing” conditions, mandating numerous improvements to the quality of the delivery of healthcare from all states in order to receive payment (performance-based payment), the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (sometimes abbreviated as ACA, though popularly known as “ObamaCare”), contains a provision encouraging (but not requiring – that decision was made the U.S. Supreme Court) the state’s governors to expand Medicaid for their impoverished residents. The law provides for 100% payment for so doing, then gradually declines to 90%.

Governors in Kentucky and Arkansas have decided to Expand Medicaid in their states, and are already enjoying savings.

Governors in Kentucky and Arkansas have decided to Expand Medicaid in their states, and are already enjoying savings.

Currently, Alabama’s matching portion (the %age it pays to purchase Medicaid) is 32.4%; so to expand Medicaid, and have it ALL paid for, and then to pay a LOWER rate than is presently being paid is one of the smartest fiscal decisions the state could make.

Already, the Governors of Kentucky and Arkansas – both well-known Republican strongholds, with opposition to the ACA – have expanded Medicaid in their states, and are already reaping the rewards.

Here’s a chart showing the compensation plan to the states: Read the rest of this entry »

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The Weird Church Lady

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Weirder & weirderThis cute meme reminds me of the story of a somewhat uncouth, and slovenly church lady who was almost constantly inviting the pastor over for a meal.

Being aware of her less-than-hygienic life practices & household condition, he politely declined at every opportunity when invited.

One day, she confided in him that she had “turned over a new leaf,” and that she’d spent quite some time cleaning & tidying up, and that her household was spic and span, from top to bottom. Being completely wearied of her seemingly incessant requests, he reluctantly accepted, and hoped to find her household in somewhat better condition than he’d seen it years ago.

When the day finally arrived, not knowing what to expect, he approached the front door with a mixture of eager anticipation, and trepidation.

He had no sooner finished knocking on the door, than Sister Smith opened the door and cheerily greeted the pastor.

“Hello, Pastor Jones!,” she excitedly exclaimed. “I’m ~so~ very glad you came! Won’t you please come in?”

“Thank you, Sister Smith,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into the living room.

Glancing around, he was utterly amazed at what he saw.

“Well… I declare! I’m practically speechless, Sister Smith!,” he exulted as he Read the rest of this entry »

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You’re not from around here, are you?

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 15, 2013

The “Georgia Walnut Pie,” seen here at Harbor View Cafe, Pepin, Wisconsin (Originally uploaded by rabidscottsman)

An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts

Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.

But never you mind.

Pie and ice cream.

Who doesn’t like it?

Sounds dee-lish… right?

Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.

And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.

I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”

Somebody should tell those folks that… Read the rest of this entry »

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How much is enough? A guide to dissatisfaction & satiety.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 9, 2013

Late Southern humorist & columnist Lewis Grizzard once wrote a book entitled “Elvis is dead, and I don’t feel so good myself.” The title seems apropos, especially since economics is colloquially known as “the dismal science.” 

And then, there’s former Soviet Union premier Nikita Khrushchev who once famously said during the early stages of the Cold War in 1956, “We will bury you!

Either way, it means somebody’s gonna’ die.

Considering the implications, however, I ask these questions:

How many beds can a man sleep in at once? How many meals does he need before he is full? In how many cars can he ride at once? In how many showers can he bathe at once? How many shoes can he wear at once? In how many houses can he live at once?

How much is enough?

A pessimist’s guide to the Great Recession

Review by Ferdinando Giugliano
June 9, 2013 4:36 pm
A provocative critique of policy makers’ response to the economic crisis

When the Money Runs Out: The End of Western Affluence,
by Stephen King, Yale University Press, RRP£20/RRP$30

Academic debates over the right policy response are one of the few abundant commodities during an economic crisis. Just as in the 1930s and 1970s, the financial crisis that began in the late 2000s has divided economists into two camps. The neo-Keynesian troops have Read the rest of this entry »

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Here’s your Friday Funny!

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 7, 2013

Can you guess why this is funny?

Hint: You MUST view the page.

And just so you’ll be reassured to know, it is NOT pornographic.

How birds lost their penises – LATimes.com Read the rest of this entry »

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Help Wanted: Wal-Mart Door Greeter

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, May 20, 2013

One of my fine friends had recently commented about the speed of thought. I was reminded of a recent story, apropos to his remark, and one told to me by a physician colleague.

It seems one of the local Wal-Marts had an opening for a Door Greeter job. The store manager published the help wanted notice & after receiving numerous applications, culled the job seekers to four.

Having thoroughly examined the applications, reviewed their resumes, and wanting to be as efficient as possible, he decided to conduct a group interview of the four sharpest candidates.

Because he wanted to see how they could think of their feet, he decided to ask them each a question and judge their response.

Turning to the first candidate, he said, “Young lady, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?”

She quickly replied saying, “A blink.”

“That’s good,” said the manager in response. “A blink is much less than a second, and the Scripture says Christ will come in the twinkling of an eye. That’s good.”

Turning to the second candidate, he asked Read the rest of this entry »

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Scandal hits Obama administration

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, January 12, 2013

Welcome to the idiocy of Alabama.

Obama’s Cabinet of yes men

By Dana Milbank, Published: JANUARY 11, 12:21 PM ET

President Obama hasn’t even begun his second term, yet already he has been ensnared by scandal.

Republicans have uncovered a shocking level of wrongdoing in the Oval Office, and I’m afraid what they say is true: The president is brazenly trying to fill his Cabinet with . . . people he likes.

Alas, the perfidy doesn’t end there. Not only is Obama naming agreeable people to his Cabinet, he is also — audaciously, flagrantly — nominating people who . . . agree with his policies.

Hello, operator? In Waco, Tex., I’d like the number for a Starr, Kenneth W.

Among the first to blow the whistle on the scandal was Sen. Jeff Sessions. The Alabamian, the ranking Republican on the Budget Committee, went on CNN on Thursday, immediately after Obama tapped Jack Lew to be Treasury secretary, to tell Wolf Blitzer why he would oppose confirmation.

“This is another person just very personally close to the president,” Sessions protested. Lew should not be confirmed, the senator said, because “the budget that he wrote was condemned by The Washington Post, virtually every major newspaper in the country.”

This was unorthodox — Sessions rarely admits to agreeing with anything he reads in The Post — but the truth of the statement was undeniable: Lew did write the budget. He was Obama’s budget director before becoming White House chief of staff; writing the budget was his job.

Sessions had Obama dead right. He is nominating like-minded people to serve in top jobs in his administration. And this scandal will continue until Obama finally accepts his constitutional obligation to name disagreeable detractors to his Cabinet.

There was a time — specifically, the entire history of the Republic until now — when nominating trusted advisers to key positions would not have been a scandal. Only three times in the 20th century (and six times before that) did the Senate reject proposed Cabinet officers, according to the Senate historical office. Lifelong judiciary appointments, particularly to the Supreme Court, are often contentious. But, the historical office notes, there is a Senate tradition that “presidents should be allowed a free hand in choosing their closest advisers.”

The last rejected Cabinet nominee, John Tower, was denied confirmation as defense secretary after accusations of Read the rest of this entry »

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Here’s a bank where Mitt Romney has no money. Ironically, it’s American.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 16, 2012

Smack-dab in the heart of rural, working class, coal-mining America.

Oh… the irony!

Read the rest of this entry »

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North Carolina Republicans Seek to Outlaw Scientific Research

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 24, 2012

Seriously.

They are.

It’s kinda’ like the gun saying, albeit with a peppermint twist:

“When ‘they’ outlaw science, only outlaws will be scientists.”

The whole scientific process means that folks get up and argue about it, and demonstrate their findings, and argue their conclusions, and implications for the same.

This is a prime example of Republican idiocy.

Utter stupidity brought to you by TEApublican TEAvangelical radicals.

Yes, radicals.

What’re these people?

Stupid?

Wait… that was a rhetorical question.

In North Carolina, a fight over sea levels and science

After a state report predicts higher ocean levels, based in part on global-warming data, new legislation seeks to all but outlaw such projections. The bill has drawn ridicule, as well as scrutiny of the state’s new political climate.

By David Zucchino, Los Angeles Times

5:00 AM PDT, June 24, 2012

RALEIGH, N.C. — When scientists at a state commission predicted that North Carolina’s sea levels could rise 39 inches by 2100, coastal business and development leaders weren’t alarmed at the prospect of flooding. They were outraged by the report itself.

They complained to state legislators, saying the projection could trigger regulations costing coastal businesses and homeowners millions of dollars.

Johnnie Mercer Wrightsville Beach NC

Waves lap against Johnnie Mercer’s Pier at Wrightsville Beach in Wilmington, N.C. (Paul Stephen / The Star-News / May 29, 2012)

The result is House Bill 819, a measure that would require sea level forecasts to be based on past patterns and would all but outlaw projections based on climate change data.

The bill, now under discussion by a legislative conference committee, has been ridiculed nationwide. It was mocked by comedian Stephen Colbert and savaged in a Scientific American blog post titled “N.C. Considers Making Sea Rise Illegal.”

It has also focused attention on the political shift in North Carolina, where Republicans in 2010 won control of the state Legislature for the first time in a century. Read the rest of this entry »

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No more “Click”…. no more “Clack.” Tappet Brothers hang up their act.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 8, 2012

Oh no!

What’ll I listen to on the weekends?

NPR’s Car Talk guys hang up wrenches, microphones

By Ros Krasny

BOSTON | Fri Jun 8, 2012 2:24pm EDT

(Reuters) – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of National Public Radio’s popular “Car Talk” program, will retire in September after decades of dispensing automotive repair and driving advice laced with a side of wicked humor.

Handout photo of Tom and Ray Magliozzi

Undated handout photo courtesy of Car Talk shows Tom (R) and Ray Magliozzi. REUTERS/Richard Howard/Car Talk/Handout

The pair, in their guise as the self-deprecating Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers, have been taping the weekly show for WBUR, Boston’s public radio affiliate, for 35 years, but say it is time to “stop and smell the cappuccino.”

Elder statesman Tom Magliozzi turns 75 this year.

“My brother has always been ‘work-averse,'” Ray Magliozzi, 63, said in a statement. “Now, apparently, even the one hour a week is killing him.”

NPR will Read the rest of this entry »

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What does a tax-free, worldwide fraud… er, religious media empire look like?

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, May 20, 2012

Recall the words to this song?

Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus…

Well, some folk don’t “love” Him because He first loved them, but because He “gives me power to get wealth.” And THAT, my brothers and sisters, is where it’s at! Money, money, money! Pass the cash! I want more! More! More! More!

Is this abuse?

You decide.

Perhaps the greater question is this: How can this be prevented?

And, this is ALL tax free.

Free.

Remember that word.

(And be sure to watch the hilarious video following the story below!)

Private jets, 13 mansions and a $100,000 mobile home just for the dogs: Televangelists ‘defrauded tens of million of dollars from Christian network’

By Nina Golgowski

PUBLISHED: 16:21 EST, 23 March 2012 | UPDATED: 16:22 EST, 23 March 2012

Two former employees of the world’s largest Christian television channel Trinity Broadcasting Network are accusing the non-profit of spending $50 million of its funding on extravagant personal expenses.

Among purchases, the network founded by Televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch, is accused of misappropriating its ‘charitable assets’ toward a $50 million jet, 13 mansions and a $100,000-mobile home for Mrs Crouch’s dogs.

Accused: Brittany Koper, center, recently filed a suit accusing the Trinity Broadcasting Network, its founders Janice Crouch (left) and Paul Crouch Sr (far right), in squandering $50 million of its funding

Their granddaughter, Brittany Koper, 26, recently filed her allegations in court after Read the rest of this entry »

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Are Bosses really like Dirty Diapers?

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 9, 2012

Black and White Looney Tunes opening title

Black and White Looney Tunes opening title

Who hasn’t heard the joke that “Bosses are like dirty diapers: Always on your ass, and full of shit.”?

It’s a proverbial oldie, but goodie.

And, like all humor, it must contain an element of truth.

While the purpose of this post is Read the rest of this entry »

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Human Breast Milk Ice Cream… now on sale in the UK

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, February 28, 2011

Those crazy Brits…

Oh well.

I’m surprised also that medical and other ethicists have not jumped on this issue – even that the government has allowed this, which is the sale of human tissue. Hair, however, is sold – but body parts, such as cornea, heart and/or valves, etc., are not. That, of course, is also entirely discounting that many medications are excreted in breast milk. For example also, what happens when the supply is gone?

Reckon what the LaLeche League thinks of this?

And then, there’s the inevitable humor that will result.

24 February 2011 Last updated at 13:40 ET

Breast milk ice cream goes on sale in Covent Garden

A restaurant in London’s Covent Garden is serving a new range of ice cream, made with breast milk.

The dessert, called Baby Gaga, is churned with donations from London mother Read the rest of this entry »

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A Brief History of… Me

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, January 2, 2011

On occasion, we all possess some tendency toward voyeurism – not necessarily of the unhealthy kind. That is, on occasion, our own innate sense of curiosity is aroused within us and motivates us to see, read or hear things that are not intended specifically for us. While at times harmless, it can be deleterious – though this is not one such occasion.

What you’re about to read is… my e-mail.

I had been motivated to write a letter of introduction to a friend of a friend, and… well, read on! Read the rest of this entry »

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