Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, August 9, 2015
Senator Richard Shelby is 81 years of age, and while he has not made an official announcement, according to sources, will be seriously considering campaigning for yet another 6-year term… at which point – if he survives it – he will be aged 87.
The Social Security’s most current Actuarial Tables (statistical death probability tables), indicate he has a 6.7509% chance of dying within a year, and conceivably, could live 7.62 more years.
Alabama Senator Richard Shelby is aged 81 years, is the 4th oldest Senator, and is one of 5 senators aged 80, and over. The average age in the Senate is 61. At the end of his present term, he will have been in the Senate for 29 years.
Next year, when he’ll become aged 82, as one might imagine, his chances of dying within a year increase. And with increased age, even the healthiest octogenarian will have health problems, the most common of which include heart problems, high blood pressure, circulatory problems, digestive and excretory difficulties, sleep pattern interruptions, metabolic compromises, respiratory problems, cognitive decline, and more. Of course, there are medications that treat those myriad associated symptoms, but ultimately, Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Do you feel like we do, Dr. Who?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know, - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home. | Tagged: Alabama, funny, health, healthcare, humor, joke, man, octogenarian, old, Richard Shelby, Senator, Senator Shelby, United States Senator | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, August 2, 2015
Recently, someone posted on FaceBook an image which almost instantly got some people frothing at the mouth.
Here’s a screenshot of the image as it appeared on Occupy Democrats FaceBook page.
The image is of a man later identified as Thomas Mcguinness of Port Charlotte, Florida, holding a cat by the scruff of its neck, who was subsequently investigated by Charlotte County Animal Control authorities. According to a report by the Fort Myers/Cape Coral News-Press, “after identifying the man in the picture as Thomas McGuinness, Animal Control officers met with him and all responsible parties, verifying that all of the domestic animals were alive and unharmed.”
Some folks get their panties in a wad over anything.
Note the date on the post.
I find no problem with that image, for the following reasons:
1.) Cats held in that manner are Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: cat, Charlie Hebdo, comedy, comedy noir, dark humor, Florida, funny, gallows humor, Gun, humor, joke, man, National Lampoon, satire | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, July 4, 2015
So, as it turns out, I bought these as a treat for my puppy. And what do you think she did? Read on to find out!
a few days ago, as a treat,
I bought pig ears at a Kroger grocery store for Queenie, my 11 month old mixed-breed (sometimes aka “Heinz 57” – as in 57 different varieties) puppy.
Last night I Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: canine, companion, dog, dog food, easy, feed, food, funny, grocery, grocery store, humor, kibble, Kroger, laugh, life, love, pet, pig, puppy, silly, stories, story | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, April 25, 2015
Satellite imagery of the new facility for the Christian Science Church, 324 W. First St., Dixon, IL
“She blinded me with science!”
Penis-Shaped Church in Dixon, IL Gets Attention
Scott Shepard from the Christian Science Church at 324 W. First St., Dixon, IL, and others are upset after a satellite image from Google Maps began to go viral, showing their new church had a rather unusual shape.
The Church recently moved into their new premises, but failed to notice the phallic design until one resident looked at the building from an aerial position using Google Earth and posted a screen shot online. The church said that “The new building was designed to Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: Christian Science, church, Dixon, faith, funny, humor, laughter, online, pallus, penis, phallic, religion, silly | 1 Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, January 15, 2015
Sure, you’ve seen ’em… the dog owner places a card around the dog’s neck which tells of the dog’s alleged bad deeds.
Some are hilarious, while others…
Well, let’s just say that others are not so bright.
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: abuse, bad, black, car, Chinese, crime, dog, dogs, eat, food, funny, hilarious, idiot, LOL, mom, pet, Pizza, sad, sign, stupid, woman | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, October 8, 2014
This cute meme reminds me of the story of a somewhat uncouth, and slovenly church lady who was almost constantly inviting the pastor over for a meal.
Being aware of her less-than-hygienic life practices & household condition, he politely declined at every opportunity when invited.
One day, she confided in him that she had “turned over a new leaf,” and that she’d spent quite some time cleaning & tidying up, and that her household was spic and span, from top to bottom. Being completely wearied of her seemingly incessant requests, he reluctantly accepted, and hoped to find her household in somewhat better condition than he’d seen it years ago.
When the day finally arrived, not knowing what to expect, he approached the front door with a mixture of eager anticipation, and trepidation.
He had no sooner finished knocking on the door, than Sister Smith opened the door and cheerily greeted the pastor.
“Hello, Pastor Jones!,” she excitedly exclaimed. “I’m ~so~ very glad you came! Won’t you please come in?”
“Thank you, Sister Smith,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into the living room.
Glancing around, he was utterly amazed at what he saw.
“Well… I declare! I’m practically speechless, Sister Smith!,” he exulted as he Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: church, clean, cleaning, Cleanliness, cute, demitasse, dinner, espresso, food, fun, funny, good humor, home, humor, hygiene, ice cream, joke, Lady, meal, Pastor, peaches, pecan, pecan pie, pie, pot roast, religion, roast, soap, story, visitation, water, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, July 10, 2014
Apparently, for some, the kitchen is their church.
From our “See? God IS real – this eggplant proves it!” files comes this item:
Workers at a Baton Rouge restaurant say they saw the word ‘GOD’ in their eggplant.
Baton Rouge restaurant employee finds ‘GOD’ in sliced eggplant
Posted: Jul 08, 2014 12:06 PM CDT Updated: Jul 08, 2014 4:19 PM CDT
BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) – When an employee at Gino’s Restaurant in Baton Rouge cut into an eggplant Monday, he found “GOD.”
Chef Jermarcus Brady couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “I saw a miraculous image formed by the seeds,” said Jermarcus Brady. “It spelled out the word God!” Chef Brady has many responsibilities, one being cutting, salting and sauteing eggplants.
Jemarcus Brady holding the “GOD” eggplant (Source: Jemarcus Brady)
“When you sliced into it, the pattern showed from the seeds that were forming in the inside the letters G-O-D as God,” said Brady. “I couldn’t think of anything. I just had to tell somebody to come look at it.”
Brady showed the eggplant to the owner of the restaurant and fellow coworkers and took photos, but he believed it was meant to be shared with everyone.
Brady says he is Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: aubergine, Baton Rouge, Cheetos, Chef, cook, cooking, eggplant, food, fried, funny, geotag, geotagged, God, hilarious, Louisiana, news, odd, off, silly, strange, vegetable, weird | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Seen here, Izzy, the dog has “rescued” a discarded empty of chips from the trash bin, apparently in hopes of obtaining a smidgen of a tasty morsel. / Photo by SRL
Things like this – Cat LOL videos, stories of animals having friendships, and other similarly expressive photos & stories (such as the depressed goat which was separated from, then was reunited with it’s longtime donkey companion) – are quite fascinating.
The reason why should be self-evident. Which is, that we find them humorous or entertaining because we ascribe human traits to animals.
From childhood, I never considered the Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man? | Tagged: Animal, Anthropomorphism, Baalam, Because I'm Happy, Beor, Bible, Birmingham Business Journal, Catholic, cats, Christ, Christianity, dogs, donkey, Eden, essay, faith, fun, funny, Garden of Eden, God, happiness, hope, image, Izzy, Jeep Cherokee, Jesus, Lazarus, Liberty, life, love, master, pets, photo, photograph, pic, picture, reanimation, Religion and Spirituality, resurrection, Scripture, silly, snake, story, thoughts | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 15, 2013
An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts
Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.
But never you mind.
Pie and ice cream.
Who doesn’t like it?
Sounds dee-lish… right?
Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.
And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.
I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”
Somebody should tell those folks that… Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: Arizona, blog, California, cold, cuisine, dairy, eating, Florida, food, funny, Georgia, hot, humor, ice cream, Jacksonville Florida, laugh, Mason–Dixon line, Mayo Clinic, Minnesota, neapolitan, peaches, Pepin Wisconsin, photo, photograph, photography, pie, pork, Pork Pie, Rochester, Scottsdale Arizona, southern, temperatures, walnut, walnuts, Wisconsin, writer, writers | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 7, 2013
Can you guess why this is funny?
Hint: You MUST view the page.
And just so you’ll be reassured to know, it is NOT pornographic.
How birds lost their penises – LATimes.com Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: Animal, avian, biology, bird, birds, California, chicken, Cloaca, Current Biology, egg, Evolution, fertilization, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, innuendo, insemination, Internet, LA, LA Times, Los Angeles, news, penis, Programmed cell death, recreation, reproduction, rooster, science, Sex organ, sexual reproduction, silly, species, sperm, University of Florida, website | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 24, 2012
It’d be funny if it weren’t sad.
Or, would it be sad if it weren’t funny?
Either way, it’s sad and funny.
Or, should that be ironic?
Whatever it is, it’s weird… and unjust.
The monks just want to sell caskets. That’s the simple plea of a relatively simple case, in which a Louisiana monastery—St. Joseph Abbey, about an hour outside New Orleans—is suing the Louisiana State Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors for the right to sell their handmade wooden caskets. Only licensed funeral establishments can sell caskets in Louisiana, which means that St. Joseph’s monks would have to hire a funeral director, install embalming equipment, and construct a funeral parlor even though they have no plans to embalm the deceased or perform actual funerals. “They would have to take an exam about the whole panoply of funeral directing,” says Scott Bullock, an attorney with Institute for Justice, which is representing the monks. “It’s like telling someone who sells shoes that they have to first become a podiatrist.”
Photograph by David Moore/Gallery Stock
St. Joseph Abbey, founded in 1889 as part of the Order of Saint Benedict, has been producing caskets for as long as its monks can remember, but until recently, they were only used for the private burials of their own members. In the 1990s they built a few coffins for the funerals of local bishops and the Catholic community began to take notice. “People would come to our funerals and see them and ask Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home. | Tagged: abbey, Benedictine monks, Casket, Catholic, Catholic Church, coffin, death, faith, Federal Trade Commission, funeral, Funeral director, funeral home, funeral parlor, funerary, funny, government, Hurricane Katrina, independence, injustice, ironic, justice, law, lawsuit, Louisiana, monastery, monks, news, Order of Saint Benedict, Order of St Benedict, OSB, religion, sad, Scott Bullock, self sufficient, St Benedict, strange, unjust, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 8, 2012
What’ll I listen to on the weekends?
NPR’s Car Talk guys hang up wrenches, microphones
By Ros Krasny
BOSTON | Fri Jun 8, 2012 2:24pm EDT
(Reuters) – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of National Public Radio’s popular “Car Talk” program, will retire in September after decades of dispensing automotive repair and driving advice laced with a side of wicked humor.
Undated handout photo courtesy of Car Talk shows Tom (R) and Ray Magliozzi. REUTERS/Richard Howard/Car Talk/Handout
The pair, in their guise as the self-deprecating Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers, have been taping the weekly show for WBUR, Boston’s public radio affiliate, for 35 years, but say it is time to “stop and smell the cappuccino.”
Elder statesman Tom Magliozzi turns 75 this year.
“My brother has always been ‘work-averse,'” Ray Magliozzi, 63, said in a statement. “Now, apparently, even the one hour a week is killing him.”
NPR will Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News, End Of The Road | Tagged: Boston, Car Talk, funny, humor, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Morley Safer, National Public Radio, news, NPR, Ray Magliozzi, Tom Magliozzi, WBUR | 1 Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, April 13, 2012
From our “News of the ‘Damn! That’s weird!'” files.
He should be thankful it didn’t strike him in the head.
But then again, perhaps he’d already been touched in the head.
Weightlifter says dumbbell fell on bullet that shot him in shoulder
A 56-year-old weightlifter in Modesto reportedly shot himself after dropping a dumbbell on a bullet.
Modesto police officers responded to the call Wednesday night and found the man wounded in the shoulder.
He told police he was Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: .22 Long Rifle, Adams, Bullet, Cartridge (firearms), Chris Adams, Dumbbell, funny, ironic, Modesto, Modesto California, news, odd, peculiar, strange, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 9, 2012
Black and White Looney Tunes opening title
Who hasn’t heard the joke that “Bosses are like dirty diapers: Always on your ass, and full of shit.”?
It’s a proverbial oldie, but goodie.
And, like all humor, it must contain an element of truth.
While the purpose of this post is Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: administrator, Andy Griffith Show, behavior, Bin bag, Boss, business, Business Services, comedy, Cost-effectiveness analysis, Diaper, Disposable, employee, employment, funny, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C., Human Resources, humor, infant, laughter, office, Seinfeld, silly, supervisor, television, Textile, Three Stooges, Washing machine, Washington Post | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, October 7, 2010
Do you remember “back in the day” when occasionally, a horribly wretched noise would emerge from your teevee or raydeeo set and the announcer’s voice would say “This is only a test.”?
If you do, good. If you don’t… read up on your current history! *LOL*
Now, whatever you do, DON’T click here to …read more…
Posted in - Uncategorized | Tagged: fun, funny, humor, laugh, radio, teeve, test, tv | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you
what I’m going to do.
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: cute, Democrat, funny, hell, humor, laughter, Obama, Obama-rama, politics, president | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: conditions, cute, economic, economy, funny, good humor, healing, health, humor, joke, laugh, laughter, medicine, one liners | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Yesterday, though I was in an emotional funk, recovering from a state of mental numbness brought about by the week’s events, I had the wherewithal to go to the grocery store for a few items.
Walking down one aisle to search for an item, I passed by and stood near a young couple with two equally young children, the elder a girl. I suppose the children were aged perhaps no more than 5 and 3.
Having found their goods, the family foursome walked to the end of the aisle near the end caps and Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know | Tagged: babes, children, family, funny, grocery, humor, Kroger, laughter, life, Smyrna, store, talk, Tennessee, TN | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, July 4, 2010
Why is everybody always picking on me?
Originally posted on Friday, June 4, 2010 at 8:19am
Today, I needed directions, and happening upon one of Murfreesboro‘s finest, I thought ‘what better source?,’ gave pursuit, and tooted my horn occasionally along the way, though I was apparently unseen and unheard.
Winding up at my original destination, I pulled along side and behind, stepped out and greeted the officer, whom then asked, “were you trying to flag me down?”
Laughingly, I said, “yes, I was!”
“I’m sorry,” replied the officer.
I explained I was needing some directions, and the officer left briefly to get some papers and would return momentarily, so I waited.
Returning, the officer said, “I’ll be glad to show you the location if you’ll follow me.” So we got into our respective cars. As I closed my door, I then noticed the officer got out of the patrol car and began to walk toward my vehicle, so I did likewise.
The officer walked over to my vehicle and placing a small piece of paper on my car’s hood began to write on it and said, “Here’s my card, if you need anything, call me. I work (insert days and times here), or just call me anytime. Can you read that?”
Taking the card, I said “yes, thank you,” called her by name, shook her hand, then proceeded to follow her.
Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.
Reckon what THAT was all about?
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: ask, chase, directions, FaceBook, funny, history, humor, inquire, Kitsap County Washington, Murfreesboro, officer, Officer (armed forces), Organizations, police, Police car, Police officer, removed, repost, sheriff, stop, story | Leave a Comment »