How can you know if you’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Just because there’s no physical violence, does that mean a relationship isn’t abusive?

No.

The adage, “can’t see the forest for the trees” is particularly true in emotionally abusive relationships, and it’s not uncommon for men and women in them to be unable to identify the relationship as being abusive.

Why is that?

It goes back to 1973 and an unsuccessful bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden in which two perpetrators – both repeat offender prisoners – took four hostages, three women and one man. Over the six days they were held, the hostages began to identify and sympathize with their captors.

Hostages in the Norrmalmstorg Kreditbanken bank vault, Stockholm, Sweden. The 1973 robbery gave rise to the term “Stockholm Syndrome” which characterized a scenario in which captives sympathized with their captors.

As the standoff was ending, police called for the hostages to come out first, but the four captives – who protected their abductors to the very end – refused. One female hostage, 23-year old Kristin Enmark, called out, “No, Jan and Clark go first—you’ll gun them down if we do! We want to leave with the robber!”

When police seized the gunmen, two female hostages cried sympathetically, “Don’t hurt them – they didn’t harm us!”

When interviewed by investigators and others following the crisis’ conclusion, the hostages reported fearing Law Enforcement Officers’ rescue effort attempts, and felt their captors were protecting them from harm. The bonds formed during that stand-off had become so strong that there were reports of one female hostage who had been engaged to be married to one of the kidnappers – which was later discovered to be false, though it is true that one hostage developed a Legal Defense Fund to help pay the perpetrators’ criminal defense costs.

Researcher Ian K.Mackenzie wrote
in “Journal For Police Crisis Negotiations”
that Stockholm Syndrome consisted of:
“strong emotional ties that develop between two persons
where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.”

Psychological researchers utilizing the FBI’s Hostage Barricade Database System (HOBAS) – the only entity that compiles national statistics on crisis incidents (hostage, barricade, and/or suicide) which are used in research and decision making – found that

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Batteries Not Included

Needing some batteries – AAA & 9v – for some handheld electronic gizmos, I stopped in at the nearby Batteries+Plus store.

While checking out, I asked the clerk if sales were strong today, and remarked, “Moms need batteries too!”

With a wink and a nod, he knowingly acknowledged innuendo in my remark with a smile and a laugh.

“You know,” I said, “we never think of our mothers as sexual beings, and yet…”

Medical News You Can Use: Household Animals Can Pass Along Diseases

Household Animals Can Pass Along Diseases

While there are many positive effects of keeping household pets, they can also pass along diseases. In a study published in the “Canadian Medical Association Journal,” Canadian and American researchers warned that animals are able to transmit numerous pathogens to their owners.

Scientists from The Ohio State University in Columbus, and the University of Ottawa in Ontario performed a meta-analysis of existing literature, which mainly included reports on individual cases but contained no systematic studies.

For healthy people, the risk of contracting a disease was low if the animals were adequately kept and hygiene guidelines followed. However, children younger than 5, adults older than 65, people who are ill, and pregnant women were at increased risk of developing a zoonotic disease. Moreover, researchers found in that group of people the diseases may be more severe, symptoms may last longer, and the risk of complications was higher.

Practically all household pets can transmit pathogens. Transmission occurs through bites and scratches, contact with feces, when cleaning cages, or when an animal licks a person.

Dogs and cats can transmit the diarrhea pathogen Campylobacter jejuni, and cats also pass on Bartonella bacteria. Infection with resistant bacteria such as ESBL, MRSA or Clostridium difficile, is possible between humans and animals in both directions.

Parasites, such as worms, are usually contracted from dogs and cats. Cats can also pass on the bacteria Toxoplasma gondii, which can lead to serious birth defects in unborn children, or even miscarriage. Amphibians and reptiles commonly transmit salmonella. According to U.S. studies, about 11% of all salmonella infections in those under age 21 are caused through contact with those animals.

In general however, the companionship provided by household pets has more positive than negative effects. Dogs, in particular, contribute to protecting toddlers against allergies and respiratory infections. Furthermore, canines have positive effects on the psyche and especially have positive effects because owners get more exercise by taking the animal out.

Marriage Tips: A Healthy View of Conflict

Just as in our physical life, when we fall down, it’s because we lose our balance.

It’s not our sense of equilibrium that is lost – it may still be intact – but our physical bodies, the thing we use to communicate with the external world, has taken a spill.

It’s important to get back up, and to continue toward a path that leads to understanding.

Remember: It’s important to think about how you think.

—

Marriage Tips

Gaining a Healthy View of Conflict

By Tim and Joy Downs

The very presence of conflict in marriage is a source of embarrassment and even shame for Christian people.

Here are three revolutionary ideas – thoroughly Biblical ideas – that can change the way you look at conflict in marriage.

1. Marriage will not always be enjoyable.

Marriage workshops are dangerous places, and marriage is no different. Marriage is

Congress Passes Socialized Medicine and Mandates Health Insurance

Does history repeat itself?

Before this article was published, I was engaged in conversation with a friend on a subject wholly unrelated to this topic. As I listened to him he remarked, “Heck, when you join the Army, if your teeth need fixing, they’ll fix ’em. If you need glasses, they’ll put glasses on you. If you need any kind of healthcare, they’ll fix you up. The reason the Army provides healthcare is because they understand they’ll get a better quality soldier.”

Interestingly, neither my friend nor his family have a military background.

By extension, I wonder… how much more productive could the American worker be if they didn’t have to be concerned about their and their family’s health and healthcare? And then, if we completely ignore “lifestyle” related health issues. i.e., those associated with smoking or obesity, there are other chronic conditions, including heart disease, hypertension, COPD, etc., that significantly adversely affect the lives of families.

Congress Passes Socialized Medicine and Mandates Health Insurance -In 1798
Jan. 17 2011 – 9:08 pm

Rick Ungar
The Policy Page

http://blogs.forbes.com/rickungar/2011/01/17/congress-passes-socialized-medicine-and-mandates-health-insurance-in-1798/

The ink was barely dry on the PPACA when the first of many lawsuits to block the mandated health insurance provisions of the law was filed in a Florida District Court.

The pleadings, in part, read –

“The Constitution nowhere authorizes the United States to mandate, either directly or under threat of penalty, that all citizens and legal residents have qualifying health care coverage.”

State of Florida, et al. vs. HHS – http://www.scribd.com/doc/39344827/State-of-Florida-v-United-States-Dept-of-HHS –

It turns out, the Founding Fathers would beg to disagree.

In July of 1798, Congress passed – and President John Adams signed

Why We Should Make Sex a Priority

Periodically, I receive communication from the Madison County Coalition for Healthy Marriages.

In those various email messages numerous topics are discussed, all designed with the purpose of strengthening traditional marriage between a man and a woman.

And though I am not presently married, nor in a romantic relationship, I find those messages not only uplifting and encouraging, but with a common sense approach, as well.

The following message is another one of those common sense approaches. It’s about the sexual aspect of the marriage relationship.

In many marriages,

The Priests who Survived the Atomic Bomb

Miracles happen daily.

They just don’t get much press.

Why?

“… a small community of Jesuit Fathers living in a presbytery near the parish church, which was situated less than a mile away from detonation point, well within the radius of total devastation. And all eight members of this community escaped virtually unscathed from the effects of the bomb. Their presbytery