Phubbing: What Is It, And How To Avoid It

Could Phubbing Be Secretly Ruining Your Marriage?
By Kylie Matthew

(This IS a problem. I see it all too often in my counseling practice. – Debbie Preece, MA)

New research suggests this pernicious problem is wrecking emotional havoc.

Do you spend more quality time with your phone than you do with your spouse? Are you compulsively checking for notifications and endlessly scrolling through your social media feeds while in the presence of your honey?

If this sounds like you, you may be one of millions of people experiencing what is a relatively new psychological condition known as ‘phubbing’ that, according to influential new research, may be slowly eroding your relationship with your partner.

Phone addiction is a ‘thing.’ Seriously

Phubbing is a portmanteau of ‘phone’ and ‘snubbing’ and occurs when conversation is interrupted by attention being given to a smart phone rather than the person you’re with. When it’s your loved one who bears the brunt of this compulsive action, it’s called phubbing – partner phone snubbing.

It’s a phenomenon directly resulting from the emergence of ‘phone addiction’ that, according to an extensive review of recent studies on the condition, is a problem tightly linked to unprecedented technological development over the past decade.

Unlike other forms of behavioral addiction such as gambling or gaming, in the same report it was noted that phone addiction seemingly affects young, extroverted women more than anyone else. (All ages and sexes are vulnerable.)

This isn’t surprising according to one of Australia’s foremost experts on relationships. “This is

National Sex Day Was June 9th: Are You Getting Any?

June 9th was National Sex Day.

Did you miss it?

While it certainly seems there’s more discussion and research about sex and sexuality now than ever before, there remains an alarming information gap between what science and researchers know, and what lay people know (first of a few unintended puns herein that seem to work). There are numerous good reasons to enjoy sexual intercourse, not the least of which is for what is contributes to one’s emotional well-being, and physical health.

Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D., Director of the University of Texas at Austin’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory noted that the hormone prolactin is released during orgasm, and is at naturally higher levels during sleep, suggesting that orgasms may help sleep. Psychology Professor Stuart Brody, Ph.D., and other researchers at the University of the West of Scotland found that people who had intercourse at least once over a period of two weeks managed stressful situations better. Researchers at Southern Illinois University‘s Headache Clinic found that half of female migraine sufferers reported relief after climaxing, because endorphins (so-called “feel good” hormones) released during orgasm closely resemble morphine in chemical structure. And with females, uterine contractions which occur naturally during orgasm also (to some extent) eliminate cramp-causing compounds during menstruation. And yes, it’s perfectly fine to have sexual intercourse during menstruation… despite what any religious texts may say otherwise.

Edith Lees & Havelock Ellis

“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.—So, at least, it seems to me.”

– Dr. Havelock Ellis, MD, July 1897,
general preface to “Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 1“

According to