Are You A Lazy Lover?

How lazy are you?

Most would confess to sitting or lying around every now and then, even regularly, and doing nothing in order to relax and unwind. No dishes, no laundry, no shopping, no cooking, no house cleaning, no errands, no lawn or garden work – no matter how pleasurable, just sitting around – maybe even in loungewear, or less – and simply doing nothing but watch teevee, eat snacks, and drink.

Even a day, or two, of such doing-nothingness, or “vegetating,” can be rejuvenating. After all, the ethic of six days of work, and resting on the seventh, has significant long-standing in almost every society and culture worldwide.

And in actuality, little, if anything, is ever made of anyone who does that, even with calculable regularity. But the person who does that habitually, justifiably earns our ire, and they are few, and far between.

No one would imagine calling anyone “lazy” who regularly took a day or two of such relaxation. But consider this: Even if in the small seemingly inconsequential things we do nothing, we run the risk of active destruction. Here’s what I mean.

At its core, that concept is somewhat similar to the term

National Sex Day Was June 9th: Are You Getting Any?

June 9th was National Sex Day.

Did you miss it?

While it certainly seems there’s more discussion and research about sex and sexuality now than ever before, there remains an alarming information gap between what science and researchers know, and what lay people know (first of a few unintended puns herein that seem to work). There are numerous good reasons to enjoy sexual intercourse, not the least of which is for what is contributes to one’s emotional well-being, and physical health.

Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D., Director of the University of Texas at Austin’s Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory noted that the hormone prolactin is released during orgasm, and is at naturally higher levels during sleep, suggesting that orgasms may help sleep. Psychology Professor Stuart Brody, Ph.D., and other researchers at the University of the West of Scotland found that people who had intercourse at least once over a period of two weeks managed stressful situations better. Researchers at Southern Illinois University‘s Headache Clinic found that half of female migraine sufferers reported relief after climaxing, because endorphins (so-called “feel good” hormones) released during orgasm closely resemble morphine in chemical structure. And with females, uterine contractions which occur naturally during orgasm also (to some extent) eliminate cramp-causing compounds during menstruation. And yes, it’s perfectly fine to have sexual intercourse during menstruation… despite what any religious texts may say otherwise.

Edith Lees & Havelock Ellis

“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.—So, at least, it seems to me.”

– Dr. Havelock Ellis, MD, July 1897,
general preface to “Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 1“

According to

Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships

By David Hill

Love. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet it is one of the hardest things to find, and perhaps an even harder thing to hold on to.

The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your spouse. But you can be perfectly imperfect together. In Wabi Sabi Love, international bestselling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford applies the wisdom of Wabi Sabi-the ancient Japanese idea of illuminating the beauty in imperfection-to love relationships. Wabi Sabi Love is the practice of exploring, embracing, and cherishing the quirks, irritations, and limitations that make you and your partner unique and that form your shared history as a couple.

Wabi Sabi Love provides the tools to see yourself, your partner, and your partnership in an entirely new light, develop a deep and profound appreciation for each other, and experience more balance, harmony, and joy in your relationship than ever before. Wabi Sabi Love teaches you to:
• Turn conflict into connection and differences into mutual passions
• Move from “annoyed” to “enjoyed”
• Establish new beliefs and habits that better serve your relationship
• Cultivate humor, humility, and generosity to diffuse those moments when you would     normally retreat or slip into tired judgments, criticisms, or resentments

Here is one of the stories you will find in this book:

Mrs. Lee’ Story
The cool, quiet room was overflowing with the grieving faces of friends and family as the funeral director invited Mrs. Lee up to the podium to speak.* The petite, elegant widow walked slowly to the front of the small chapel and calmly began her eulogy. “I am not going to sing praises for my late husband. Not today. Neither am I going to talk about how good he was.” Mrs. Lee’s eyes flashed. “Enough people have done that here.” She took a deep breath, allowing the air to fill her lungs before she continued. “Instead, I want to talk about some things that will make some of you feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Several people stopped fanning themselves and sat up a little straighter. “First off, I want to

Is Cuddling Better Than Sex?

UK Marriage News, July 2011

Is a cuddle better than sex?

Don’t panic if the passion is gone.

New research says it’s hugs not hanky-panky that keeps couples together.
 According to new research, the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than how often you’re swinging from the chandeliers says the Daily Mail. “Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” explains Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship.

In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.

“The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that

The Practical Side to Commitment for Husbands & Wives

Periodically, in this blog I have shared tips for spouses – husbands & wives – to improve the quality of their marriage. Typically, those entries have been from other reputable sources, not merely my opinion, nor something from a popular consumer magazine that presents the relationship “flavor of the day.”

Love, it has been said, is a commitment – it is neither exclusively, nor merely a good feeling based upon a mutual attraction, sexual or otherwise. Because love is a commitment, there are certain things that one should do to honor and demonstrate the commitment. Oftentimes as well, those commitments have been unspoken – although they may occupy significant real estate silently in our imaginations. It is precisely those times that the unspoken should be spoken.

With an eye toward speaking the unspoken, I share with you the following.

List of 20 Absolute Face-to-Face Commitments

 By Paul D. Refior

Copyright 1994, 1998 and 2005

You will certainly agree that marriage is infinitely more than a list of do’s and don’ts.

Yet one of the problems these days is that so many couples fail or refuse to acknowledge important do’s and don’ts, and these couples do not make or fulfill important commitments and promises.