Relationship Killers

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Twenty-Five Relationship Killers

By Amy Waterman

The following relationship killers nip love in the bud. They’ll make it impossible for your partner to love you and, as a result, will cause your partner’s loving feelings to die. If any of them apply to you, it’s up to you to change yourself.

You cannot get your partner’s love back until you make it easy for him or her to love you.

1. You’re disappointed in your partner. Your partner can sense when you are disappointed in him or her, even if you try to hide it. Respecting your partner is a must. You cannot have a healthy marriage if you are disappointed in your partner, period.

2. You’re disillusioned with your marriage. Disillusionment is another marriage killer. You may feel as if your marriage hasn’t lived up to your expectations. If so, take responsibility for your feelings. Don’t blame your partner or your marriage. If your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, change it. If you’re disillusioned, examine your expectations. Maybe they weren’t realistic in the first place. You are responsible for your own happiness, and blaming your partner for not giving you the marriage you want is a cop-out.

3. You don’t respect your partner. In some ways, respect for your partner is even more important than love for your partner. Have you ever noticed how you find it easy to like people who look up to you? When you respect and admire your partner, your partner will feel more loving feelings towards you. If your partner feels as if he or she has to live up to your expectations, constantly disappoints you, or can never get it right, you’ve failed to show your partner the respect that he or she deserves.

4. You don’t like or respect yourself.

5. You don’t do what you say you are going to.

6. You let pride get in the way.

7. You always have to be right.

8. You don’t listen to your partner.

9. You do things because they annoy your partner.

10. You’re dishonest.

11. You have temper tantrums and/or are unable to control your emotions.

12. You are hurtful and put down your partner.

13. You criticize your partner in front of others.

14. You take pride in being difficult to live with.

15. You’re unwilling to meet your spouse’s requests or compromise.

16. You want your spouse to change who he or she is.

17. You let others get between you and your spouse.

18. You don’t fight fair.

19. You want to stay exactly how you are and resist growth.

20. You can’t handle stress and take it out on your spouse.

21. You take everything your partner does or says personally.

22. You always see the negative side of things.

23. You refuse to admit there is a problem or seek professional help.

24. You engage in alcohol or substance abuse.

25. You are physically or verbally abusive to your spouse.