Posts Tagged ‘joke’
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, August 9, 2015
Senator Richard Shelby is 81 years of age, and while he has not made an official announcement, according to sources, will be seriously considering campaigning for yet another 6-year term… at which point – if he survives it – he will be aged 87.
The Social Security’s most current Actuarial Tables (statistical death probability tables), indicate he has a 6.7509% chance of dying within a year, and conceivably, could live 7.62 more years.
Alabama Senator Richard Shelby is aged 81 years, is the 4th oldest Senator, and is one of 5 senators aged 80, and over. The average age in the Senate is 61. At the end of his present term, he will have been in the Senate for 29 years.
Next year, when he’ll become aged 82, as one might imagine, his chances of dying within a year increase. And with increased age, even the healthiest octogenarian will have health problems, the most common of which include heart problems, high blood pressure, circulatory problems, digestive and excretory difficulties, sleep pattern interruptions, metabolic compromises, respiratory problems, cognitive decline, and more. Of course, there are medications that treat those myriad associated symptoms, but ultimately, Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Do you feel like we do, Dr. Who?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know, - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home. | Tagged: Alabama, funny, health, healthcare, humor, joke, man, octogenarian, old, Richard Shelby, Senator, Senator Shelby, United States Senator | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, August 2, 2015
Recently, someone posted on FaceBook an image which almost instantly got some people frothing at the mouth.
Here’s a screenshot of the image as it appeared on Occupy Democrats FaceBook page.
The image is of a man later identified as Thomas Mcguinness of Port Charlotte, Florida, holding a cat by the scruff of its neck, who was subsequently investigated by Charlotte County Animal Control authorities. According to a report by the Fort Myers/Cape Coral News-Press, “after identifying the man in the picture as Thomas McGuinness, Animal Control officers met with him and all responsible parties, verifying that all of the domestic animals were alive and unharmed.”
Some folks get their panties in a wad over anything.
Note the date on the post.
I find no problem with that image, for the following reasons:
1.) Cats held in that manner are Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: cat, Charlie Hebdo, comedy, comedy noir, dark humor, Florida, funny, gallows humor, Gun, humor, joke, man, National Lampoon, satire | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, October 8, 2014
This cute meme reminds me of the story of a somewhat uncouth, and slovenly church lady who was almost constantly inviting the pastor over for a meal.
Being aware of her less-than-hygienic life practices & household condition, he politely declined at every opportunity when invited.
One day, she confided in him that she had “turned over a new leaf,” and that she’d spent quite some time cleaning & tidying up, and that her household was spic and span, from top to bottom. Being completely wearied of her seemingly incessant requests, he reluctantly accepted, and hoped to find her household in somewhat better condition than he’d seen it years ago.
When the day finally arrived, not knowing what to expect, he approached the front door with a mixture of eager anticipation, and trepidation.
He had no sooner finished knocking on the door, than Sister Smith opened the door and cheerily greeted the pastor.
“Hello, Pastor Jones!,” she excitedly exclaimed. “I’m ~so~ very glad you came! Won’t you please come in?”
“Thank you, Sister Smith,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into the living room.
Glancing around, he was utterly amazed at what he saw.
“Well… I declare! I’m practically speechless, Sister Smith!,” he exulted as he Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: church, clean, cleaning, Cleanliness, cute, demitasse, dinner, espresso, food, fun, funny, good humor, home, humor, hygiene, ice cream, joke, Lady, meal, Pastor, peaches, pecan, pecan pie, pie, pot roast, religion, roast, soap, story, visitation, water, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, May 20, 2013
One of my fine friends had recently commented about the speed of thought. I was reminded of a recent story, apropos to his remark, and one told to me by a physician colleague.
It seems one of the local Wal-Marts had an opening for a Door Greeter job. The store manager published the help wanted notice & after receiving numerous applications, culled the job seekers to four.
Having thoroughly examined the applications, reviewed their resumes, and wanting to be as efficient as possible, he decided to conduct a group interview of the four sharpest candidates.
Because he wanted to see how they could think of their feet, he decided to ask them each a question and judge their response.
Turning to the first candidate, he said, “Young lady, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?”
She quickly replied saying, “A blink.”
“That’s good,” said the manager in response. “A blink is much less than a second, and the Scripture says Christ will come in the twinkling of an eye. That’s good.”
Turning to the second candidate, he asked Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: Albert Einstein, American Express, AT&T, business, Christ, college, Faster-than-light, graduate, hillbilly, humor, IBM, joke, light, man, Miguel Alcubierre, NASA, scat, scatalogical, Speed of light, Starbucks, Wal Mart, Walmart, Warp Drive, woman | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, December 9, 2012
Over the past year, I have established friendship with a young man whom is an Irish resident. We share several common interests, among them our religious faith – we are both Catholic – and the creative arts – he is an active musician, while my musical talents & skills have taken a respite.
Recently, on his FaceBook page, he had shared a news story, which was in response to the news of the tragedy of the suicide of the English Nurse who had been involved in an international prank, and later found to have committed suicide.
While the volume of dialogue was principally between he and I, there were other respondents, some of whom were situated on the opposite side of the globe, in the Southern hemisphere, in Australia, where the prank originated.
As I returned to the post to read the other responses, it occurred to me that they were civil in tenor, and it was that aspect of the dialogue which was perhaps the most enjoyable, and which – as I perceive it – has remained sorely absent in many so-called online “forums.” The lack of civility has also taken a toll in politics, even on a worldwide basis. And that loss of civility is wholly and entirely regrettable.
So, it is because of the presence of civility – which is an acknowledgement of respect for another person, even though there may be vastly differing perspectives – that I wish to share the dialogue. For respect of others’ privacy, and because their identities are not germane to the topic, their names are redacted.
Young Irish Male: Female 1, we were just talking about pranksters last week and how pranks really can destroy a persons life. This is just one example. Very sad story.
Nurse who took Kate prank call at hospital found dead
KATE Middleton said she was deeply saddened yesterday by the apparent suicide of a nurse who fell victim to a hoax during her stay in hospital.
Female 1: Oh i know..isn’t that just terrible! I put a video on just last week…i don’t know if it was real or not but it showed Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: 2Day FM, Ambassador, America, Austereo Radio Network, Australia, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge, Catholic, Charles Prince of Wales, civility, Creative arts, death, dialogue, Disc jockey, Edward VII of the United Kingdom, FaceBook, friends, friendship, health, international, Ireland, joke, Kate, KATE Middleton, KateMiddleton, Michael Christian, news, Practical joke, prank, suicide, UK | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: conditions, cute, economic, economy, funny, good humor, healing, health, humor, joke, laugh, laughter, medicine, one liners | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, June 12, 2010
(If you don’t laugh out loud at this, you’re just not trying!)
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he”s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?”
“That’s easy. He’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.”
So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he”s looking for a male or female horse.
“A female horth.”
So he shows him a prized filly.
“Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?”
So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.
“Nith eyeth, can I thee her …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: cute, dwarf, funny, hiliarious, horse, Horse Whisperer, humor, joke, laugh, lisp, midget, speech impediment, whisperer | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, March 21, 2010
A 16-year old boy in southern New Jersey’s Washington Township accused of punking Wal-Mart shoppers in that town has been arrested and released into his parents’ custody.
Police said he used one of the courtesy phones, to calmly announce “Attention, Wal-Mart customers: All Black people, leave the store now,” was charged with harassment and bias intimidation, and were not aware if he had an attorney.
Gloucester County Prosecutor Sean Dalton said …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: black, Blue, boy, dumb, dumb kid, ethnic, ethnicity, foolish, free speech, Green, grief, human race, idiot, joke, NJ, Orange, people, polka-dotted, punked, race relations, retail, shoppers, store, trouble, Wal Mart, Wal-Martians, Wally World, White, woe, Yellow | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Yo yo yo yo yo!
Wassup brutha’ and sistas! It be lookin’ like muh folks in ‘da hood wuz dissed in Washington Township, New Jersey!
Yo yo yo yo!
We ain’ down wid it!
Breaking now from the jive blinglish, we shall continue in plain, ordinary, everyday English.
Last Sunday evening at a Wal-Mart store in southern New Jersey’s Washington Township, a calm male voice came over the public-address system and announced: “Attention, Wal-Mart customers: All black people, leave the store now.”
Moments later, a store manager quickly …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: bad, big box, black, disrespect, dumb, joke, New Jersey, retailer, shop, stupid, township, Wal Mart, Wally World, Washington, WMT | Leave a Comment »