Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Posts Tagged ‘cute’

One Should Always Eat Foods In Season

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, February 20, 2020

Best grits joke I’ve ever heard was about a couple crisscrossing the nation, whose journeys took them to the Deep South.

Having traveled all day, they bedded down in a motel in Evergreen, AL. It’s tiny town, just off and barely east of I-65, and south of Georgiana. Perhaps you know exactly where it is… but chances are you don’t. So, here’s a map link to help you out. Or, if you prefer, here’s a pic.

So the next morning, as they were checking out of the Sleep Inn motel, they asked where they could get breakfast.

Shoney’s is just down the street,” replied the Desk Clerk. “They have an excellent breakfast buffet that’s to die for!”

The couple thanked her, walked out the door, got in their car, and headed the few hundred feet down to Shoney’s.

As they walked in and were seated, they took a few minutes to look over the menu, and while talking among themselves, the waiter walked up and took their drinks order.

“I’ll be back in a few moments to take your order,” he said as he turned away.

When he arrived at their table, with their orange juice, water, and coffee on a service platter, he started placing their drinks on the table and asked, “Have y’all decided? Our breakfast buffet is always popular, or you can order from the menu, or a la carte.”

Curiously, the couple’s better half replied, “What’s on the breakfast buffet?”

He began naming off the items. “Well, we have cheese & regular grits, oatmeal, 2 types sausage – link & patty – chicken fingers, bacon of course, dirty rice, biscuits, plain & sausage gravy, cantaloupe, strawberries, honeydew, grapes, and cottage cheese.”

“Wow! That sounds like a lot to choose from!,” exclaimed the couple’s better half, as she shut the menu and handed it over to him.

“Yes ma’am, we do our best to have quite a variety of items to offer, and if there’s an item that you want that’s not on there, we’ll do our best to get it for you!” He smiled broadly as he delivered his short dietary soliloquy. The gap in his toothy grin gave the couple a heartwarming, and down-home feeling. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Weird Church Lady

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Weirder & weirderThis cute meme reminds me of the story of a somewhat uncouth, and slovenly church lady who was almost constantly inviting the pastor over for a meal.

Being aware of her less-than-hygienic life practices & household condition, he politely declined at every opportunity when invited.

One day, she confided in him that she had “turned over a new leaf,” and that she’d spent quite some time cleaning & tidying up, and that her household was spic and span, from top to bottom. Being completely wearied of her seemingly incessant requests, he reluctantly accepted, and hoped to find her household in somewhat better condition than he’d seen it years ago.

When the day finally arrived, not knowing what to expect, he approached the front door with a mixture of eager anticipation, and trepidation.

He had no sooner finished knocking on the door, than Sister Smith opened the door and cheerily greeted the pastor.

“Hello, Pastor Jones!,” she excitedly exclaimed. “I’m ~so~ very glad you came! Won’t you please come in?”

“Thank you, Sister Smith,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into the living room.

Glancing around, he was utterly amazed at what he saw.

“Well… I declare! I’m practically speechless, Sister Smith!,” he exulted as he Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

President Obama goes to Hell

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010

One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you
what I’m going to do.

Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The economy is so bad that…

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Horth Whithperer

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, June 12, 2010

(If you don’t laugh out loud at this, you’re just not trying!)

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he”s sending a  friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?”

“That’s easy. He’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.”

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he”s looking for a male or female horse.

“A female horth.”

So he shows him a prized filly.

“Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?”

So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.

“Nith eyeth, can I thee her …Continue…

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

 
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