Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

One Should Always Eat Foods In Season

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, February 20, 2020

Best grits joke I’ve ever heard was about a couple crisscrossing the nation, whose journeys took them to the Deep South.

Having traveled all day, they bedded down in a motel in Evergreen, AL. It’s tiny town, just off and barely east of I-65, and south of Georgiana. Perhaps you know exactly where it is… but chances are you don’t. So, here’s a map link to help you out. Or, if you prefer, here’s a pic.

So the next morning, as they were checking out of the Sleep Inn motel, they asked where they could get breakfast.

Shoney’s is just down the street,” replied the Desk Clerk. “They have an excellent breakfast buffet that’s to die for!”

The couple thanked her, walked out the door, got in their car, and headed the few hundred feet down to Shoney’s.

As they walked in and were seated, they took a few minutes to look over the menu, and while talking among themselves, the waiter walked up and took their drinks order.

“I’ll be back in a few moments to take your order,” he said as he turned away.

When he arrived at their table, with their orange juice, water, and coffee on a service platter, he started placing their drinks on the table and asked, “Have y’all decided? Our breakfast buffet is always popular, or you can order from the menu, or a la carte.”

Curiously, the couple’s better half replied, “What’s on the breakfast buffet?”

He began naming off the items. “Well, we have cheese & regular grits, oatmeal, 2 types sausage – link & patty – chicken fingers, bacon of course, dirty rice, biscuits, plain & sausage gravy, cantaloupe, strawberries, honeydew, grapes, and cottage cheese.”

“Wow! That sounds like a lot to choose from!,” exclaimed the couple’s better half, as she shut the menu and handed it over to him.

“Yes ma’am, we do our best to have quite a variety of items to offer, and if there’s an item that you want that’s not on there, we’ll do our best to get it for you!” He smiled broadly as he delivered his short dietary soliloquy. The gap in his toothy grin gave the couple a heartwarming, and down-home feeling.

“Tell me, please,” said the better half, “we’re not from around here, and even though we’ve heard Mitt Romney talk about ‘cheesy grits,’ we’re still not certain exactly what they are.”

“Oh, yes ma’am!,” interrupted the waiter, “we make grits both ways – with, and without cheese! Some folks are ‘lactose intolerant,’ you know,” as he nodded his head and winked. “And best part about it all, is that everything’s fresh-made daily,” as he gestured toward the buffet.

Looking the waiter straight in the eye, the couple’s better half said, “Well, I think we’ll both have the buffet. And while I like that you’ve said everything is fresh, I’m curious about something. So tell me, please – are grits in season right now?”

––At an event in Jackson, Mississippi on Friday, March 9, 2012, Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney greeted the crowd with a “morning y’all,” and said he had a “biscuit and some cheesy grits” for breakfast.

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