The Weird Church Lady

This cute meme reminds me of the story of a somewhat uncouth, and slovenly church lady who was almost constantly inviting the pastor over for a meal.

Being aware of her less-than-hygienic life practices & household condition, he politely declined at every opportunity when invited.

One day, she confided in him that she had “turned over a new leaf,” and that she’d spent quite some time cleaning & tidying up, and that her household was spic and span, from top to bottom. Being completely wearied of her seemingly incessant requests, he reluctantly accepted, and hoped to find her household in somewhat better condition than he’d seen it years ago.

When the day finally arrived, not knowing what to expect, he approached the front door with a mixture of eager anticipation, and trepidation.

He had no sooner finished knocking on the door, than Sister Smith opened the door and cheerily greeted the pastor.

“Hello, Pastor Jones!,” she excitedly exclaimed. “I’m ~so~ very glad you came! Won’t you please come in?”

“Thank you, Sister Smith,” he said as he stepped over the threshold into the living room.

Glancing around, he was utterly amazed at what he saw.

“Well… I declare! I’m practically speechless, Sister Smith!,” he exulted as he

Lyons Coffee Roasters @LyonsCoffeeAL in Florence, Alabama announces reopening! Oh Happy Day!

I am overjoyed to learn of this OUTSTANDINGLY EXCELLENT news!

Happy Day!

You’ve read the headline, so you “know” something of the “bottom line.”

A few weeks back, I had written a thoughtful Op-Ed about the matter entitled “Why the LGBT community should support Shirey Ice Cream in Florence, Alabama,” and encouraged peaceful reconciliation.

In part I wrote…

“An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” does nothing more than increase eyeless, toothless people. It multiplies injury, and eventually claims everyone.

“On the other hand, in stark contrast, love covers a multitude of sins.

“Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. Do good to those who hate you. Let the light of your good deeds shine so brightly so that many others can see it, who will then give praise to your Heavenly Father because of them.

“Those ideas are truly revolutionary values.”

I do not know whether or not

Why the LGBT community should support Shirey Ice Cream in Florence, Alabama

Edwin Markham, American poet

Outwitted

He drew a circle that shut me out–

Heretic, a rebel, a thing to flout.

But Love and I had the wit to win:

We drew a circle that took him in!

by Edwin Markham, April 23, 1852 – March 7, 1940

That brief poem, or epigram, by Edwin Markham summarizes succinctly the idea upon which I will expound in this entry.

In the past several days, it came to light that a Shoals area Alabama entrepreneur, Garrett Shirey – who, with his brothers Reese & Austin, are founders and co-owners of Shirey Ice Cream in the northwest Alabama town of Florence, population 39,447 – had Tweeted at least two uncharacteristic and very unbecoming messages. The specific dates and times they were made, and the content can be seen in the screen shot images of the Tweets, both which appear later in this entry.

First, some background.

You’re not from around here, are you?

The “Georgia Walnut Pie,” seen here at Harbor View Cafe, Pepin, Wisconsin (Originally uploaded by rabidscottsman)

An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts

Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.

But never you mind.

Pie and ice cream.

Who doesn’t like it?

Sounds dee-lish… right?

Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.

And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.

I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”

Somebody should tell those folks that…

Avion Espresso Tequila… it’s not just for margaritas anymore!

Pundits at the Wall Street Journal share a quick taste.

Here’s one line you’ll rarely – if ever – hear about tequila:

“Pour this over some

THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING! Or… maybe not.

Believe it or else, there were opponents to air bags, seat belts and child safety restraints.

Some time, someone will oppose everything… even vanilla ice cream and Mother’s Day.

There are, I suppose, several ways to consider the following.

One could presume the psychotic Chicken Little, paranoid delusional “the-sky-is-falling” approach, or, one could suppose the device is only an extension of someone who cannot tell a lie… or, at least is very difficult to deliberately fabricate falsehood.

And then, there’s something in the middle.

I would imagine that’s where the truth resides.
—

A Black Box in Your Car?

By Sam Favate, April 23, 2012, 1:40 PM

If you thought having EZ Pass in your car would make it too easy for the government to track you, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

The Senate passed a bill in March that calls for “mandatory event data recorders” (or black boxes) to be installed in all new passenger motor vehicles, starting with the 2015 models, and which would record data before, during or after a crash, according to KurzweilAI.net.

The bill, which can be seen here, has a privacy provision but gives the government the authority to access the black box in a number of circumstances, including court order, consent of the owner, an investigation or inspection, or to determine the need for emergency responses.

The same bill would allow the IRS to

“Lady Gaga” goes gaga over “Baby Gaga” Breast Milk Ice Cream

Earlier I’d posted about “Baby Gaga” human breast milk ice cream which was being marketed in England.

Now, the denizen attorney hoards hired by Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, aka “Lady Gaga,” have threatened an entrepreneur in England who has hit upon a rather unique idea which has – legality & ethics issues aside – provided a nominal source of income for the donors and for the marketer.

We don’t read of the “Goo Goo Dolls” suing “Goo Goo Cluster” candy in Nashville, TN. Nor do we read of either of them suing “Goo Gone” of Cleveland, OH for their citrus-based cleaning product. Perhaps her insatiably greedy attorneys will file suit against anyone whom uses the word “gaga” in conversation.

Standard Candy Company, makers of the Goo Goo Cluster indicate that

Human Breast Milk Ice Cream… now on sale in the UK

Those crazy Brits…

Oh well.

I’m surprised also that medical and other ethicists have not jumped on this issue – even that the government has allowed this, which is the sale of human tissue. Hair, however, is sold – but body parts, such as cornea, heart and/or valves, etc., are not. That, of course, is also entirely discounting that many medications are excreted in breast milk. For example also, what happens when the supply is gone?

Reckon what the LaLeche League thinks of this?

And then, there’s the inevitable humor that will result.

24 February 2011 Last updated at 13:40 ET

Breast milk ice cream goes on sale in Covent Garden

A restaurant in London’s Covent Garden is serving a new range of ice cream, made with breast milk.

The dessert, called Baby Gaga, is churned with donations from London mother

On a Cold Winter’s Day, it’s time for Hot Chocolate, Hot Cocoa – anything to keep warm and cozy… WHILE GOING STIR CRAZY!

For the past hour or two, I have found myself relaxing as I’ve not relaxed in several days.

Here, in the Southeast, we’ve been inundated with wintry weather. Specifically, on the night of the 10th of January, parts of the South received up to a foot (12″) of powdery snow. As a matter of fact, it was recently reported that 49 of our 50 states had snow somewhere in them. That solitary exception… what state was it? Florida, of course! Even Hawaii has snow capped peaks.

Not being familiar with snow, any forecast of snow in the South generates great skepticism, and continues to

Winter has officially arrived in Dixieland… “where I was born one frosty morn’…”

You know the adage, “cold hands… warm heart.”

But that’s not all that’s cold!

It’s so cold, that instead of giving milk, the cows are giving ice cream!

And after taking the doug… er, dog outside this morning, upon returning inside to the toasty warmth of the house, and sensation began to return to my body – cold exerts a numbing, or anesthetic effect – somehow, I felt as if I were a little less of a man.

See what dogs do to you?!

Damn dog!