Ever had ORIGINAL, AUTHENTIC, GENUINE Homemade Aioli?

Perhaps you’d be surprised at the MANY “knock-off,” el-cheapo, wanna-be, so-called “recipes” for AIOLI.

For some, it’s a Johnny-come-lately to the faux phood scene, a veritable “flash-in-the pan” — here today, gone tomorrow — and something, some trick of “the new and kewl” to attract, and FOOL, or DECEIVE, folks into believing that a great amount of effort, or love, went into making a food item.

Pretty pictures adorn all kinds of websites, magazines, and newspapers — online, and in print — that depict food as an artistic creation… and to be certain, there’s little doubt that some of it is. Certain cakes come to mind, for example.

The finished product… GENUINE, AUTHENTIC aioli.

But most food is not “art,” though it can, and should be, presented attractively. And the reason for that, the reason why food should be presented attractively, is that we FIRST ‘eat’ with our eyes. That is to say, that, what we see whets our appetite. However, for food made in a restaurant, the olfactory sensation is largely missing, because almost no one goes into any restaurant and smells the food cooking. It’s not like your grandma’s, or mama’s kitchen, wherein the savory aromas of food waft throughout the house, eagerly increasing your expectations as mealtime approaches.

But, back to the aioli.

At its essence, aioli is almost pure garlic in a spreadable form. I write ‘almost’ because it has olive oil in it, and cannot be made without it. And, there’s some salt, as well. But the amount, volume, quantity, etc., of salt is up to the maker. And though salt may not be 100% absolutely required, or a mandatory item like garlic or olive oil, it is HIGHLY recommended to be a constituent part of aioli. In other words, just put some in. Don’t neglect it.

Now, invariably, someone, some wisenheimer, will ask something like

An Easy-Peasy, Quick-n-Easy Meal in Under 30 minutes!

Jasmine rice w celery, onions, carrots, bell peppers, cooked in leftover beef broth, with… yup — it’s SHRIMP!

Altogether, including prep time, a meal in under 30 minutes.

Like I’ve said previously… Rachel Ray ain’t got NOTHIN’ on me!

A tasty, nutritious, easy-peasy, quick-n-easy meal in <30 minutes!

Okay… so, What DO you do to make this?

1.) Get your ingredients, i.e., go grocery shopping.

2.) Select the groceries.

3.) Purchase the groceries.

4.) Go home.

5.) Unload the groceries.

6.) Fix the meal.

7.) Eat the meal.

8.) Wash the dishes.

9.) Dry the dishes.

10.) Put away the dishes.

Seriously…

Volumes/quantity are up to you. If you wanna’ fix enough to feed a small army, go for it.

If it’s just you, that’s cool, too.

Perhaps some may ask something like, “How much shrimp should I use?”

The EASY answer is… how much do you want?

The rice? What about it? How much should I use? What kind?

For Pete’s sake, PLEASE DON’T buy rice in a cooking pouch. Seriously. Just don’t. It’s just not that difficult to cook rice. I mean, if illiterate folks in jungles and their kids can cook it perfectly, you can too.

Just remember: Rice requires

America’s Test Kitchen & Chinese Junk

Occasionally, I read the numerous emails sent out by “America’s Test Kitchen.”

And when I write “numerous,” I mean NUMEROUS. They’re practically bordering on SPAM.

And, they almost always want you to buy some cheap, Fabriqué en Chien Chine (tr. “Made in China,” but, it might as well be “Made in Dog”) junk. Hmm… Chinese junk. Seems there is an historical watercraft called — interestingly enough — a “Chinese junk.”

China, Miscellaneous Scenes: Junks near Ningpo
Creator: Fong, Ali
Subject: Hartung’s Photo Shop
Local number: SIA RU007263 [SIA2008-2923]
RU 7263 – Arthur de Carle Sowerby Papers, 1904-1954 and undated, Smithsonian Institution Archives
Place: Ningbo Zhuanqu (China)
Repository: Smithsonian Institution Archives

And ATK’s latest flop is… testing silicon spatulas.

Yes, you read that correctly – silicon spatulas. It must’ve been a VERY slow day week in the test kitchen.

While I once found them informative, they’ve been slipping. And one thing that gripes me about ATK is that many of their “recommendations” aren’t worth a hot hoot in Hades. As an example, consider a venerable, almost ubiquitous, household kitchen appliance… the blender.

Not too long ago, ATK, as they usually do, produced a video comparing various brands of the kitchen appliance. That one, of course, happened to be about blenders. Their hands-down, long-time winner was the Vitamix 5200, priced at $449… BUT! Made in Cleveland, Ohio, and FULLY guaranteed — everything about it (i.e., “a motor blender base and any containers purchased together”) will be repaired, or replaced AT NO EXTRA COST — for 7 years if ANY part fails “due to a defect in material or workmanship or as a result of normal wear and tear from ordinary household use.” FINALLY! FINEST QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA!

ATK’s “next best” choice model was the Breville brand Hemisphere Control model, priced around $200 – Made in China, and with only a limited, one year guarantee.

While the site and accompanying video(s) show excerpts from their “tests,” and the host gives an adequate description of the “tests” and their staff’s findings – the advantages and shortcomings of each of them – one thing they fall grievously short on is… 1.) CLEANING, and; 2.) LONG TERM DURABILITY TESTING.

Granted, ATK conjures up some “torture” tests that most cooks won’t come close to performing, such as plunging a searing hot skillet into an ice water bath, or banging the thing on a concrete block… just to see what would happen. In industry parlance, that’s called “destructive testing,” meaning that the piece, or thing, being tested is likely to be damaged, or destroyed in the process.

I happen to own a couple Breville brand products, one of them being the no-longer-manufactured Hemisphere model blender, and the other one being the still-manufactured Breville brand Barista Express model espresso machine with integrated grinder.

The TOTAL purchase price for BOTH items – shipping + tax included – was around $1000+/-.

Now, to give kudos to the Australian company, their design team

Easy #Bacon Wrapped #Chicken #Tailgating #Recipe

Sweet Baby Chicken Bacon Wraps are a tasty combination of sweet and spicy.

With only four ingredients, or more, it’s a quick, easy, simple, affordable and satisfying heavy hors d’oeuvre to make for a crowd. Unless you’re cooking for the Los Angeles Rams.

As we march our way into the holiday season Hades, this is sure to be an outstanding addition to your next party or family get together. Even tailgating!

Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps

Yield: 12-15 wraps

Ingredients: