Batteries Not Included

Needing some batteries – AAA & 9v – for some handheld electronic gizmos, I stopped in at the nearby Batteries+Plus store.

While checking out, I asked the clerk if sales were strong today, and remarked, “Moms need batteries too!”

With a wink and a nod, he knowingly acknowledged innuendo in my remark with a smile and a laugh.

“You know,” I said, “we never think of our mothers as sexual beings, and yet…”

Dumb Dog Owner Blames Dog For Her Mistakes… Hopes You’ll Believe Her

Sure, you’ve seen ’em… the dog owner places a card around the dog’s neck which tells of the dog’s alleged bad deeds.

Some are hilarious, while others…

Well, let’s just say that others are not so bright.

TRANSLATION:

My owner was TOO STUPID to

New Research Proves Obesity is Related to…

The Humble Crockpot
The crockpot is a ‘set it and forget it’ cooking tool. In fact, when placed on the “high” setting, food is often cooked overnight, and ready the next morning.

Excess Food Consumption.

Big surprise, eh?

Yeah.

NOT!

Seriously, there is only ONE time-tested way to lose weight.

It has two, very simple steps.

They are:

1.) Eat Less, and;

2.) Exercise More.

Or if you prefer, Step #1 can also be considered a form of exercise – Push Aways.

Push Away from the table.

Now that we have the levity out of the way… let’s look at the news.

Some have promoted various forms of diet as an adjunct to weight loss. Many of the more successful models have revolved around variations upon a theme, that being increased protein intake in conjunction with decreased carbohydrate intake, also more popularly known as the “Atkins Diet.”

To give Dr. Atkins his due,

Stay-at-home-mom Ann Romney’s tax deductions for her dressage horse exceeded the average American Median Income

Is this not a prime example of how “We the People…” should require higher tax rates of the über wealthy?

I mean, really… they get a deduction of $77,000 for their f*ing horse?!

C’mon, people!

What’s wrong with this picture!?!

Out of touch with reality, or out of touch with reality?

Hey!

I know!

Mitt says “job one is creating jobs in America.”

Since Mitt & Ann get those rich-folk tax breaks, that makes him a “job creator.”

So maybe you can work in one of Mitt’s horse barns!

You plebian slob.

—

Romney Horse Wins Spot on Olympic Dressage Team

June 16, 2012

By TRIP GABRIEL

GLADSTONE, N.J. — Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, who plan to attend the opening of the Olympic Games in London this summer, now have a personal rooting interest in the event.

Jan Ebeling, Mrs. Romney’s longtime riding tutor, and his horse Rafalca, co-owned by Mrs. Romney,

Good News for Birthing Mothers! – Audio Post

Wonderful News out of Nashville! /%20%20/%20Post

Amy Bishop’s new book: “How I cooked my goose”; alternate working titles: “My mom lies for me, too!” -OR- “Shit! I missed her!”

Sometimes, it’s difficult to have an effective title, or headline to a new entry, so I decided to have a bit’o fun with this one.

The readers will remember that at age 19 Amy Bishop killed her 18-year old brother Seth with a pump shotgun, to which I referred in previous entries  – the most recent one being entitled “Amy Bishop’s Attorney Bryan Stevens – Can’t Read? Sure – just like Amy Bishop can’t shoot.”

The then-19-year-old Miss Bishop shot and killed her 18-year-old brother Seth, in the kitchen of their Braintree, MA home, after first “accidentally” discharging the same firearm in her bedroom upstairs, which blast her mother said she did not hear.

Following is Braintree Police Officer Charles N. Solimini’s recollection of the incident: