PREDICTION: Sadly, Repugnicunts will continue firearms recalcitrance until one of their own, or a family member, is… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…>•<Think on this a little while.>•< 2 days ago
"The Global Consciousness Project, also known as the EGG Project, is an international multidisciplinary collaboration of scientists, engineers, artists and others continuously collecting data from a global network of physical random number generators located in 65 host sites worldwide. The archive contains over 10 years of random data in parallel sequences of synchronized 200-bit trials every second."
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, March 26, 2023
My name is Viktoria Perry and I love cooking. Whether I’m whipping up a quick and easy stir-fry or baking a delicious cake, cooking is one of my favorite hobbies. I love to try new recipes and create my own dishes, and I’m always up for a challenge. Whether I’m in the kitchen or out and about, I always enjoy spending time with my family and friends.
AI, or Artificial Intelligence, is all the rage at the moment. It’s the “In Thing,” the proverbial hot potato of the moment, the “cool kid on the block.”
But folks are quickly finding out that it’s not what it’s all cracked up to be.
I mean, seriously… AI can’t kiss you goodnight, say ‘hello’ in the morning, prepare your breakfast, and so many, many more things that it’s impractical to enumerate them.
You know, one would think, or hope, that if an individual was going to write something, and ostensibly speak with an authoritative voice, that person would first check to ensure that what they thought, was correct, and if not, hasten to correct it BEFORE writing. Otherwise, anything written would be just pure useless blather.
Opinions — purely subjective beliefs, i.e., a “conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof” — are one thing — although sometimes, opinions have some basis in fact or rationale, such as, for example, folks that hate cilantro, often do so because many of them say it tastes soapy, or worse.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, November 25, 2022
Video screen capture of Tennessee Republican U.S. Senator Marsha Blackburn lining a baking tray with WAX PAPER upon which she will bake cookies.
Marsha Blackburn… 🤪🤢🤮
I’m trying to decide if Marsha Blackburn is a moronic imbecile, or an imbecilic moron.
Regardless, she’s a fool, and is proof positive why NO ONE should EVER even give her the time of day, much less seriously consider anything she says.
And you know what’s even WORSE?
She majored in Home Economics at Mississippi State University, in Starkville, where she earned the Bachelor of Science in 1974.
Maybe she missed class that week.
Republican Senator Marsha Blackburn is telling her followers to put wax paper in the oven, a potential fire hazard,… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…— PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 (@patriottakes) November 24, 2022
Video screen capture of Tennessee Republican U.S. Senator Marsha Blackburn placing cookie dough upon WAX PAPER lining a baking tray which she will then bake.
1.) “The short answer to the question of whether you can put wax paper in the oven is a resounding no!”
— Bob’s Red Mill Natural Foods, miller/granary
2.) “…definitely not for heating food in the oven.”
— A Taste of Home, cooking website
3.) “…using wax paper in the oven is not recommended.”
— ryujinramenbrooklyn.com, cooking blog
4.) “…you cannot put wax paper in the oven.”
— OvenQueries.com, oven cooking website
NONE of that mass-produced, factory-farmed, Made-in-China, Made-for-China gobbledygook.
This does NOT need refrigeration!
And, these pieces are also cooked, of course.
Oh! And you KNOW, that since 2013, Smithfield Foods, in Smithfield, VA, a formerly-American-based company, has been OWNED BY THE COMMUNIST CHINESE “Shuanghui Group” (now known as “WH Group” because it sounds more “American,” you know) because Smithfield’s Wall$teet corporate owners sold their American birthright for a paltry bowl of porridge — a mere US$4.72B.
You DO recall that China is a Communist nation, don’t you?
WH Group’s “global headquarters is strategically located in Hong Kong, with regional headquarters in China and the U.S.,” while the “Headquarters Shuanghui Development in Luohe, Henan Province,” China, and WH Group’s U.S. Headquarters of their Smithfield Foods division is in Smithfield, Virginia.
WH Group is also one of the LARGEST FOREIGN OWNERS of American farmland, with 146,000 acres, and that separate sale (as part of Smithfield’s holdings) was worth US$500M, according to the USDA.
Put another way, 146,000 acres is 228.1252 square miles… that’s nearly 20% (18.79% exactly) of the entire state of Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, August 30, 2022
Spaghetti! Who doesn’t like it?
Spaghetti is an easy-enough meal to prepare, and it can be as simple, or as complex, as one desires.
And despite that, as some things often are, they can be deceptively simple, or even challenging to master.
While with recipes, whether found online, on boxes, or in magazines and books, there seems to be a somewhat straight-forward approach to making certain dishes, even with renown and very popular ones, sometimes, the “Whys & Wherefores,” i.e., the rationales, the reasons why one does a certain thing a certain way, are typically omitted. And, that can be to the detriment of a burgeoning cook, or aspiring chef.
So, we’ll set out to, at least in small part, make a correction… at least as concerning spaghetti.
1.) Salt
Salt the water which the noodles boil in — HEAVILY, not a mere sprinkle, or a dash, or two. Lay it on!
Why?
Salt is hygroscopic, which means that it draws, or attracts, water.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, February 9, 2022
LEFT to RIGHT: Spaghetti noodles, tomato-based meat sauce, freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese
Ever get tired of eating mediocre spaghetti?
Of course you so.
But, how can you make your otherwise boring spaghetti a world-class dish?
It’s easier than you think.
Naturally, there are a few (very few) “secrets,” or tips-n-tricks, that everyone should know, and understand, in order to improve the character and quality of the dish.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, December 4, 2021
Perhaps you’d be surprised at the MANY “knock-off,” el-cheapo, wanna-be, so-called “recipes” for AIOLI.
For some, it’s a Johnny-come-lately to the faux phood scene, a veritable “flash-in-the pan” — here today, gone tomorrow — and something, some trick of “the new and kewl” to attract, and FOOL, or DECEIVE, folks into believing that a great amount of effort, or love, went into making a food item.
Pretty pictures adorn all kinds of websites, magazines, and newspapers — online, and in print — that depict food as an artistic creation… and to be certain, there’s little doubt that some of it is. Certain cakes come to mind, for example.
The finished product… GENUINE, AUTHENTIC aioli.
But most food is not “art,” though it can, and should be, presented attractively. And the reason for that, the reason why food should be presented attractively, is that we FIRST ‘eat’ with our eyes. That is to say, that, what we see whets our appetite. However, for food made in a restaurant, the olfactory sensation is largely missing, because almost no one goes into any restaurant and smells the food cooking. It’s not like your grandma’s, or mama’s kitchen, wherein the savory aromas of food waft throughout the house, eagerly increasing your expectations as mealtime approaches.
But, back to the aioli.
At its essence, aioli is almost pure garlic in a spreadable form. I write ‘almost’ because it has olive oil in it, and cannot be made without it. And, there’s some salt, as well. But the amount, volume, quantity, etc., of salt is up to the maker. And though salt may not be 100% absolutely required, or a mandatory item like garlic or olive oil, it is HIGHLY recommended to be a constituent part of aioli. In other words, just put some in. Don’t neglect it.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, November 27, 2021
What is it?
😋Breakfast!!
Glad you asked!
It’s THE MOST important meal of the day!
Whyzat?
Because you’re BREAKING your FAST! Hence, the name — break-fast.
Overnight, your body has thoroughly digested, and fully utilized every nutrient which you put it yesterday.
And, now, it’s time to eliminate the waste. Your blood’s been filtered, too. And that waste as well, is ready to go. That’s why upon awakening from an overnight rest, you, everyone else, and all god’s creatures gotta’ go.
And since it’s ALL empty, just like your automobile, it’s time for a refill. Can’t travel cross-country on an empty tank, now, can you? Prolly can’t even make it cross-town when the gas gauge is pointing on ‘E’.
And proteins — broadly, meat, eggs, cheese, and nuts — take longer to digest than carbohydrates, thus, releasing their energy more evenly, whereas carbohydrates burn (release their energy) rather quickly.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, November 22, 2021
Jasmine rice w celery, onions, carrots, bell peppers, cooked in leftover beef broth, with… yup — it’s SHRIMP!
Altogether, including prep time, a meal in under 30 minutes.
Like I’ve said previously… Rachel Ray ain’t got NOTHIN’ on me!
A tasty, nutritious, easy-peasy, quick-n-easy meal in <30 minutes!
Okay… so, What DO you do to make this?
1.) Get your ingredients, i.e., go grocery shopping.
2.) Select the groceries.
3.) Purchase the groceries.
4.) Go home.
5.) Unload the groceries.
6.) Fix the meal.
7.) Eat the meal.
8.) Wash the dishes.
9.) Dry the dishes.
10.) Put away the dishes.
Seriously…
Volumes/quantity are up to you. If you wanna’ fix enough to feed a small army, go for it.
If it’s just you, that’s cool, too.
Perhaps some may ask something like, “How much shrimp should I use?”
The EASY answer is… how much do you want?
The rice? What about it? How much should I use? What kind?
For Pete’s sake, PLEASE DON’T buy rice in a cooking pouch. Seriously. Just don’t. It’s just not that difficult to cook rice. I mean, if illiterate folks in jungles and their kids can cook it perfectly, you can too.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, September 11, 2021
Occasionally, I read the numerous emails sent out by “America’s Test Kitchen.”
And when I write “numerous,” I mean NUMEROUS. They’re practically bordering on SPAM.
And, they almost always want you to buy some cheap, Fabriqué en Chien Chine (tr. “Made in China,” but, it might as well be “Made in Dog”) junk. Hmm… Chinese junk. Seems there is an historical watercraft called — interestingly enough — a “Chinese junk.”
China, Miscellaneous Scenes: Junks near Ningpo Creator: Fong, Ali Subject: Hartung’s Photo Shop Local number: SIA RU007263 [SIA2008-2923] RU 7263 – Arthur de Carle Sowerby Papers, 1904-1954 and undated, Smithsonian Institution Archives Place: Ningbo Zhuanqu (China) Repository: Smithsonian Institution Archives
And ATK’s latest flop is… testing silicon spatulas.
Yes, you read that correctly – silicon spatulas. It must’ve been a VERY slow day week in the test kitchen.
While I once found them informative, they’ve been slipping. And one thing that gripes me about ATK is that many of their “recommendations” aren’t worth a hot hoot in Hades. As an example, consider a venerable, almost ubiquitous, household kitchen appliance… the blender.
Not too long ago, ATK, as they usually do, produced a video comparing various brands of the kitchen appliance. That one, of course, happened to be about blenders. Their hands-down, long-time winner was the Vitamix 5200, priced at $449… BUT! Made in Cleveland, Ohio, and FULLY guaranteed — everything about it (i.e., “a motor blender base and any containers purchased together”) will be repaired, or replaced AT NO EXTRA COST — for 7 years if ANY part fails “due to a defect in material or workmanship or as a result of normal wear and tear from ordinary household use.” FINALLY! FINEST QUALITY MADE IN AMERICA!
ATK’s “next best” choice model was the Breville brand Hemisphere Control model, priced around $200 – Made in China, and with only a limited, one year guarantee.
While the site and accompanying video(s) show excerpts from their “tests,” and the host gives an adequate description of the “tests” and their staff’s findings – the advantages and shortcomings of each of them – one thing they fall grievously short on is… 1.) CLEANING, and; 2.) LONG TERM DURABILITY TESTING.
Granted, ATK conjures up some “torture” tests that most cooks won’t come close to performing, such as plunging a searing hot skillet into an ice water bath, or banging the thing on a concrete block… just to see what would happen. In industry parlance, that’s called “destructive testing,” meaning that the piece, or thing, being tested is likely to be damaged, or destroyed in the process.
I happen to own a couple Breville brand products, one of them being the no-longer-manufactured Hemisphere model blender, and the other one being the still-manufactured Breville brand Barista Express model espresso machine with integrated grinder.
The TOTAL purchase price for BOTH items – shipping + tax included – was around $1000+/-.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, August 24, 2021
A simple dish like pinto beans can quickly and easily become a hearty, tasty, complex-flavored dish with the addition of a few ingredients. Seen here, are the beans with all extra ingredients added, just before cooking in the pressure cooker. When pressure cooking beans, it’s NOT necessary to soak them. Simply rinse them off, throw ’em in the pot, fasten the lid, and cook away! They’re ready in a jiffy! How long’s a “jiffy”? About 15-20 minutes +/- depending upon how well you like ’em cooked. No more soaking overnight baloney!
Beans and cornbread.
There you have it!
How much more simple could it be, eh?
And honestly, that’s a meal unto itself.
If you wanted, you could add some rice to it, either separately, or mixed in.
But, we’ll just concentrate on the two, for now.
So… here’s what you’ll need for the beans & cornbread.
NOTE:Milk can be clabbered/curdled using a small amount of vinegar or lemon juice (both are acid). Soured milk should not be discarded, and can be used in cooking, in lieu of buttermilk or milk, and can be added to buttermilk.
If it seems like a lot of ingredients… IT IS!
And, it’s WELL WORTH IT!
Besides… any cook worth their salt will use numerous spices, herbs, and seasonings… because NOBODY BUT NOBODY enjoys bland food. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, December 14, 2020
The visible portion of crud which came off after washing in dish washing detergent (Dawn®), and a wee bit of common, unscented household bleach.
Bluntly, hells fucking YES!!
And pandemic goofiness aside, AT ALL TIMES one (meaning YOU, dear reader) should wash fresh produce with a bit of unscented dish washing soap/detergent, and a wee bit of unscented common, household bleach.
No one knows what kind of “cooties,” germs, pathogens, bacteria, and otherwise bad “bugs” – including bug poo – have settled upon fresh produce.
In this example, I washed a bunch of celery, 3 green bell peppers, a bunch of cilantro, several jalapeño peppers, and 2 heads of broccoli.
How did I wash them?
In a basin of cool water I dissolved some Dawn® brand unscented dishwashing detergent/soap, and about a quarter cup of common, unscented household bleach. Suds are NOT necessary.
Simply dissolve the additive ingredients by gently stirring the water. The basin should be at least half full of water.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, January 12, 2020
For breakfast, I ate a Russet potato which was steamed in the pressure cooker for about 10 minutes. It was kept out of the water by placing it in a basket placed atop a trivet inside the stove-top cooker.
Most often, in any pressure cooker, the food being cooked rests in the water. However, I wanted to find out what the food would be like if it did not.
The potato had been thoroughly cleansed and rinsed in the usual manner some weeks earlier, which for me, includes a capful of common, unscented, household bleach in addition to Dawn® brand liquid dishwashing soap.
My general rule is, all fresh fruit and vegetables get that treatment because:
1.) You don’t know how many people handled it at the store having not washing their hands after toileting, and;
2.) You don’t know about the conditions in which it was grown, if e.coli or other really bad cooties might have been present, or if it “picked up” something in transit.
While recalls of vegetables tainted with e.coli or other pathological bacteria are neither rare, nor common, per se, they are ONLY on the outside of the food, never within. So, every vegetable – including green leafy ones – tubers, and fruits of all kinds – are all Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, November 23, 2019
I decided to cook the Thanksgiving turkey today… because I can.
And, as always, it’ll be low & slow – 350°F for about 3-4hrs +/-.
Kinda’ like barbecue, only shorter.
The bird’s not really large, it’s only about 12-13 pounds, or so.
The cavity is stuffed with coarsely cut vegetables (including shiitake, and crimini/portobello mushrooms, red, white, and yellow onions, carrots, celery, and various peppers) all which are coated with pulverized dried bread crumbs, and two blocks of pulverized dried cheeses.
The top/exterior has paprika and coarse kosher salt with some mild pepper sauce (Valentina brand “Red Label” – it’s WAY flavorful, and not too hot for most tastes).
Before stuffing the cavity, coarse kosher salt, garlic powder, paprika, and “Badia brand Complete Seasoning” was applied.
And, ALWAYS, always, always!!! Cook turkeys (and chicken) breast side down, of course!
Why?
Because it keeps the breast moist and tender – and prevents it from dying out.
Here’s how and why it works.
As the bird begins to cook, when the fat starts to render (melt), it runs DOWN (remember that thing called “gravity”?), into the breast meat, thereby “juicifying” it.
And a bit of bragging here – I have NEVER cooked a bad turkey, no matter how I’ve cooked it. Even my very first one was perfect.
Also, there’s NO need to “baste.” That’s an utter waste of time & effort. If you insist on cooking it breast side up, put the thing in a bag if you’re gonna’ do it that way.
How will you know when it’s done?
Smell.
And a little tug on the leg.
Never cook by time, or use a thermometer. That’s an amateur’s chore, or a fool’s errand. Cook it until you like how it turns out. (What’s the BEST part about being a cook? You get to eat your mistakes!)
Seriously.
Don’t cook by time, or “internal temperature.”
Seriously.
Don’t.
You’ll smell it when it’s done, and ready.
Here’s how you check.
First of all, you’ll smell it.
And THEN! you check.
Here’s how you check:
Just open the oven door, pull out the rack, and using a fork, or your finger, “flick” the leg.
If it bounces back, it’s not ready.
If it gives way, it’s ready.
It’s just that simple.
Look, folks… cooking ain’t rocket surgery, or brain science.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, February 1, 2019
Mexican lasagna!?!
Yeah.
The first layer is soft corn tortillas. Be sure to cover the sides of the dish.
That’s what I thought when I read the text message sent to me by a friend.
I’d never heard of “Mexican lasagna,” but the ingredients and pictures intrigued me, so I decided that I’d try my hand at it. After all, I do enjoy cooking, because for me, it’s a creative outlet. And besides… who DOESN’T like eating, eh?
Layer as you wish. But first place a layer of sauce atop the soft corn tortillas, followed by the meat. Seen here, the pinto beans with sausage atop a layer of vegetables (onion, olives, tomatillos, salsa verde, tomaotes, bell pepper, cilantro, etc.) and cheese. Mustn’t forget the Pepper Jack cheese!
And, like most recipes, I make it my own, because as I see it, recipes are essentially broad guidelines, rather than precise and exacting hard-and-fast rules for cooking or preparing any dish.
Top with crushed corn tortilla chips before adding the next layer.
So, I set off to procure the ingredients which I didn’t have on hand, purposely omitting any ingredients which I didn’t think “fit,” and adding ones which I thought would accentuate the dish.
Be GENEROUS with the veggies and other ingredients. DO NOT BE STINGY!
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, December 7, 2018
Baby, it’s dumb inside.
Has anyone banned “Dixie”?
Remember:
Libraries celebrate “Banned Book Week” by encouraging EVERYONE to read books that were once banned, like “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” or, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” because “it highlights the value of free and open access to information.”
Citing the #MeToo movement, and pointing to the line in the song “say, what’s in this drink?,” some radio stations have moved to “ban” the 1949 Academy Award winning song which was featured in the motion picture Neptune’s Daughter, and sung by Ricardo Montalbán and Esther Williams.
Critics decry it as an inference to “slipping a mickey” – an old, colloquial term for a date rape drug – into the woman’s drink.
However, I can’t count the number of times folks have asked me what’s in drinks I’ve made. One of the most notable ones being Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, November 22, 2018
iPhone 6 screenshot showing maximum memory capacity (128GB) reached, and proportions of memory used by category
Not to worry… my iPhone’s got you beat.
It’s more stuffed than you are.
Or, more stuffed than your Thanksgiving turkey.
Or your turducken.
Seriously.
“Turducken,” is a word-blend of turkey, duck, and chicken, which is a de-boned dish of the three fowl combined, which is then cooked.
And it’s just barely Thanksgiving morning!
But that’s GigaBytes, and you’re human bites – it’s not an “apples-to-apples” comparison.
And, that’s okay, because we often compare disparate items. You know, like oranges to truck stops, or oxygen concentration ratios to seat cushions.
Anyway… the human stomach’s average capacity is about 1.5 – 2 Liters.
Maximum capacity is 3 – 4 Liters.
Put in perspective, the upper end of the maximum capacity of the human stomach is the equivalent volume of TWO 2 Liter soda bottles.
The low end of the average capacity of the human stomach is about 75% of one 2 Liter soda bottle – 1.5 Liters.
In fact, the human stomach – which essentially is a muscle sac, and when empty, is about the size of your fist – can expand to hold up to 4 Liters of food. That’s more than 50 times its empty size.
Of course, some folks’ stomachs are bigger.
Seriously.
Bigger body = bigger stomach.
And you’ve certainly heard the age-old adage “big feet, big… need big shoes.”
But, even though you, and others may be quite hungry – famished, even – this Thanksgiving, you probably won’t quite be eating like wolves… even though you may wolf your food down.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, November 14, 2018
By definition, classic, authentic French bread has only 4 ingredients:
1.) Flour
2.) Salt
3.) Yeast
4.) Water
For some, baking is a mysteriously puzzling process. For others – as with math – it comes easily. Either way, it’s a learned process, can be taught, and the products it produces may be further developed, refined and enjoyed.
At the most basically fundamental level, making bread is the transformation of raw grains into deliciously tasty finished products. An entire language surrounding the baking of bread has arisen, and as our understanding of the art and science of bread-making continues to be developed, new terms may emerge. However, there remain time-tested terms about which many have heard – even if they’re not fully understood – and it is with those most basic terms and processes that French bread is understood, and made.
So in order to understand the how’s and why’s of bread-making, it’s equally important to understand the historical context in which French bread emerged.
Unlike bread in general, French bread’s history is relatively new, per se, and dates to the mid-to-late 1700’s – a revolutionary era in which France and the United States were forming.
Like the American Revolution, the French Revolution gave power to the people who were also subjected to abuse by terror-inducing government actions, including the forced quartering of troops (lodging & feeding) in private residences without either invitation by, or reimbursement to, the owners, and included shortages and rationing of staple food supplies because of many continuous years of harshly inclement climate and weather conditions resulting in crop failures, and other agricultural catastrophes.
Market speculation didn’t help matters, and prices for all foods rose rapidly, precipitously and exponentially, especially and particularly for wheat, and significantly adversely affected the poor and impoverished, who could no longer afford to buy flour. And what flour they were able to afford was of grossly inferior quality and poorly milled, which processing left many bran hulls in the final product.
But the pièce de résistance was mass starvation.
While the few wealthy elites had plenty of money to afford all kinds of food, the majority did not, and were literally starving. Consequentially, crimes of theft, murder, and prostitution were common because people didn’t have enough money to feed their families, and resorted to such activities merely to stay alive.
King Louis XVI and his royal entourage at the royal castle in Versailles were isolated from, oblivious, and indifferent to the escalating crisis of the people’s suffering. And while in response to the appellate courts’ orders to reduce spending, he did so begrudgingly, most of his token attempts to pacify by claiming reform were thwarted by his appointed judges.
During the age of Enlightenment many writers, pamphleteers and publishers informed or inflamed public opinion, and used opposition to the government as a resource to mobilize public opinion in opposition to the monarchy, which in turn tried to repress what became known as “underground” literature. Today, they would be called the “fake news” media.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, August 7, 2018
“Nothing says loving like something from the oven.”
– anonymous
To the idea of pot pies, some folks say things like, “You know, I’ve never liked pot pies, but probably because it was always store bought.”
-or-
“He HATES pot pies. I LOVE them.”
And then, after looking at the ingredients I used, they say this…
“That recipe looks scrumptious.”
-and-
“I’ll have to try this recipe. He might eat it if I make it.”
Understand this: Most all recipes – and that means 99.99% – have their origin in someone’s kitchen – not in a giant factory vat or laboratory test tube.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, April 9, 2018
If you’re like me, you want to “do your part to support the home team,” and buy as many items Made in USA as you can possibly find. It just makes sense to support your friends and neighbors who are also entrepreneurs, skilled artisans and craftsmen.
Now please, don’t misunderstand, I have NEVER opposed Free Trade, but I have long opposed unfair trade… and poor quality products, even if they are Made in USA. And as far as I’ve seen, the quality of Lodge brand iron cookware is on par with cheap Chinese imports. And that is not saying very much at all – or rather, it says volumes.
I enjoy cooking, and am primarily self-taught. And I have learned by trial-and-error, that thin, cheap, often aluminum cookware is inferior, and more often than not, burns food… even when it’s used to simply warm a canned food item, such as green beans, or corn. And the reason why, is that it’s thin!
Multiplied by today’s “flat top” cooking surfaces, that’s a marriage made exclusively in Hell. The reason why, is that unlike flame stoves which can be adjusted for intensity, and even the older “coiled eye” resistor heating elements, flat top/smooth surface cook tops use a very messed up and faulty process. Here’s what typically happens.
Turn on the “burner” and watch what happens. Even at LOW temperatures, the element underneath the smooth surface comes on at 100% intensity, and then quickly goes out. That process is repeated at every “temperature” setting, with the only difference being between “temperatures” is the length of time at which the element stays on. For example, at the “HIGH” setting, the heating/cooking element is on constantly, while on the “MEDIUM” setting, the heating/cooking element cycles on-and-off less frequently than if it were on “LOW.” Essentially, the “temperature” adjustment knob is a timer, rather than a rheostat.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Baking bread requires the virtues of patience and attention. It is hard work wrapped in warm smells and a tremendous sense of accomplishment when the job is done. The process seems undeniably Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 25, 2017
Who doesn‘t like pizza?
Why, it’s practically unAmerican to not like pizza! Have you ever made your own pizza at home? Ever wanted to make a Deep Dish Pizza at home? Good news – you can! And I’ll share images and a recipe which will help get you started.
This may come as a complete surprise to some, but pizza is BIG BUSINESS in the United States.
Top 50 Pizza Chains’ Annual Sales by State (Click to enlarge)
And as Marketplace Host and Senior EditorKai Ryssdal says, “but first, let’s do the numbers…”
According to CHD Expert, a foodservice industry marketing trends & data organization, at the end of September 2016, there were 76,723 pizza restaurants in operation in the United States.
In their 2016 Pizza Consumer Trend Report, foodservice industry researcher Technomic found that 41% of consumers polled say they eat pizza once a week, a 55% increase from the 26% reported only 2 years ago.
And a 2016 Morgan Stanley report found that pizza delivery is a $30 billion industry, but could be be worth over $210 billion — which is the total amount Americans currently spent on off-premise dining. And of that $30 billion figure, over 1/3 – $11 billion – are delivery orders which are placed online, and nearly 2/3 of those online orders are… pizza.
So with impressive data like that, it should come as no surprise that a Harris Poll found that Americans’ No. 1 favorite comfort food is pizza, which also had twice as many votes as any other dish… including chocolate.
Now, for a recipe, and the how-to.
There are many seemingly innumerable styles of pizza, which vary with stuffed crusts, in shape, size, ingredients, and any other number of variations in pizza, and fortunately, this one will be simple enough to make at home.
We’re going to make the entire thing, including the crust.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, March 18, 2017
Arby’s promotional image of their “Meat Mountain” sandwich, a “secret menu,” hand-made custom sandwich which contains every meat and cheese offering they carry.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Holiday season is again upon us, and many folks – particularly Southerners – are familiar with a tasty warm beverage known as “Russian Tea.”
Exactly how and where the recipe developed, and how it came by that name is somewhat unclear, but “the font of all knowledge” – and I sarcastically refer to Wikipedia – cites an article entitled “Russian Tea is Favorite Recipe in the South” by Cecily Brownstone in the November 27, 1976 issue of Kentucky New Era newspaper in Hopkinsville.
Interestingly, the story which is perhaps the newspaper’s most renown is the August 1955 Kelly-Hopkinsville Alien Encounter, which may also be known as “Kelly Green Men Case,” or the “Hopkinsville Goblins Case.” It’s a precursor of sorts to a “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” type story in which five adults and seven children reported to Hopkinsville Police that “little men with big heads and long arms,” presumably alien creatures, were attacking their farm house, and that they’d held them off with gunfire “for nearly four hours.” It all started around 7PM when one of the men went out of the house to get a bucket of water, and lasted until 0330 – that’s 3:30AM.
Who knows? Maybe they’d had too much Russian Tea. Anyway, I don’t think you’ll be doing any hallucinating, or discharging any firearms after drinking this, so it’s pretty tame stuff… unless you start adding Kentucky Bourbon or other liquor to it.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, September 12, 2014
Sweet Baby Chicken Bacon Wraps are a tasty combination of sweet and spicy.
With only four ingredients, or more, it’s a quick, easy, simple, affordable and satisfying heavy hors d’oeuvre to make for a crowd. Unless you’re cooking for the Los Angeles Rams.
As we march our way into the holiday season Hades, this is sure to be an outstanding addition to your next party or family get together. Even tailgating!
BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) – When an employee at Gino’s Restaurant in Baton Rouge cut into an eggplant Monday, he found “GOD.”
Chef Jermarcus Brady couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “I saw a miraculous image formed by the seeds,” said Jermarcus Brady. “It spelled out the word God!” Chef Brady has many responsibilities, one being cutting, salting and sauteing eggplants.
Jemarcus Brady holding the “GOD” eggplant (Source: Jemarcus Brady)
“When you sliced into it, the pattern showed from the seeds that were forming in the inside the letters G-O-D as God,” said Brady. “I couldn’t think of anything. I just had to tell somebody to come look at it.”
Brady showed the eggplant to the owner of the restaurant and fellow coworkers and took photos, but he believed it was meant to be shared with everyone.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, July 4, 2014
SC Restaurant Owner Refuses To Serve Blacks, Cites Religious Beliefs
July 2, 2014
By Manny Schewitz
In South Carolina, a BBQ restaurant owner (Maurice’s Piggy Park BBQ) claimed that he was within his rights to refuse service to blacks based on his religious beliefs. In the case brought before the Supreme Court, Maurice Bessinger stated that his religion required him to keep black people from eating in his restaurant, although he was perfectly OK with taking their money, so long as they ordered their food to-go.
The attorney representing the petitioners suing Piggie Park also addressed in court the “First Amendment religious privilege claim that petitioner asserted that his religion required him” to deny service to black customers.
“I’m just a fair man. I want to be known as a hard-working, Christian man that loves God and wants to further (God’s) work throughout the world as I have been doing throughout the last 25 years.” (Source)
And now for you who actually took the time to read the story instead of basing your outrage solely off a headline before sharing with an ALL CAPS blurb of “SEE? I TOLD YOU THE SOUTH WAS FULL OF RACISTS!!!”, this case was Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, April 14, 2014
It’s easy to talk about “the jobs situation” in Alabama. It’s especially easier to talk about it when it doesn’t affect you… directly. It’s like armchair quarterbacking.
There’s probably much truth to the statement that Alabama’s legislators aren’t directly affected by job loss in the state. They have jobs. As musician Steve Miller sang in his song “Take the Money and Run,” they make their “living off other people’s taxes.” That goes for Republicans AND Democrats. Such an observation, of course, is not to demean those who do “make their living off other people’s taxes,” because our military, public safety and others vital to our local, state and national well-being are among them. It is however, an acknowledgment of, and call to responsibility – not merely accountability – because accountability is the only remnant once responsibility has departed. And that is how the “Blame Game” is played.
In this entry, we examine some details on the extent of the damage done to families & individuals under his administration.
And so, let’s again refer to some previously-mentioned facts & figures, and introduce some new ones so that we can better understand the nature, scope and and extent of the situation, and corresponding problems Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Raise a Glass of Scottish Wine to Global Climate Changes
By Rudy RuitenbergMar 25, 2014 11:00 PM CT
Thanks to climate change, Christopher Trotter will make history later this year by pairing a Scottish white wine with the local spoots.
The razor clams harvested from the nearby shores of the North Sea will go down nicely with the first bottles from Trotter’s vineyard north of Edinburgh. The 2014 vintage will be special for Scotland, where Highlanders have distilled whisky and brewed ale for centuries.
“Scotland has probably been more of a beer-drinking nation than anything else,” said Trotter, a chef and food writer. Wine hasn’t been part of the culture, he said, “until now.”
Christopher Trotter, Scottish Chef, Vintner and food writer, stands in his vineyard in Fife, Scotland – Source: Christopher Trotter via Bloomberg
Trotter might as well pour a splash on the ground in memory of a vanishing world. Climate change, which scientists say is caused by heat-trapping gas accumulating in the atmosphere, is transforming dinner tables and scrambling traditions in the $270 billion global wine industry. In Europe, warmer seasons are chasing Italian and Spanish vintners up hillsides, making a winner of Germany, encouraging growers in Poland and spreading the cultivation of wine grapes to latitudes friendlier to belly-warming whiskies and ales. And it’s raising the alcohol content, and altering the flavors, of famous wines in France.
Vitis vinifera, the common grape vine, is a finicky crop. Vineyards flourish where average annual temperatures range from 10 to 20 degrees Celsius (50 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit). Too much dry weather, hail or too much rain can downgrade or wreck a vintage.
“Scotland has probably been more of a beer-drinking nation than anything else,” said Trotter, a chef and food writer. Wine hasn’t been part of the culture, he said, “until now.”
Trotter might as well pour a splash on the ground in memory of a vanishing world. Climate change, which scientists say is caused by heat-trapping gas accumulating in the atmosphere, is transforming dinner tables and scrambling traditions in the $270 billion global wine industry. In Europe, warmer seasons are chasing Italian and Spanish vintners up hillsides, making a winner of Germany, encouraging growers in Poland and spreading the cultivation of wine grapes to latitudes friendlier to belly-warming whiskies and ales. And it’s raising the alcohol content, and altering the flavors, of famous wines in France.
Vitis vinifera, the common grape vine, is a finicky crop. Vineyards flourish where average annual temperatures range from 10 to 20 degrees Celsius (50 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit). Too much dry weather, hail or too much rain can downgrade or wreck a vintage.
“Wine is very responsive to climatic factors,” said Karl Storchmann, a professor of economics at New York University and managing editor of the Journal of Wine Economics. “This is especially true for fine wine, when weather-induced vintage-to-vintage price variations can exceed 1,000 percent.”
Over centuries, growers in the top producing countries — France, Italy and Spain — selected grape varieties that now account for 75 percent of the world’s wine plantings, according to a database prepared by the University of Adelaide in Australia.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, October 4, 2013
To be honest with you, I’ve hardly had any barbecue at all this season (which begins in the Spring) – and I’ve certainly not cooked any! I think, more than anything, that’s what I really miss… the cooking!
I’ve written about barbecue, the process and procedure, but not extensively.
Typically, when I order barbecue, I like to sample three sides which have traditionally accompanied barbecue. They are slaw, potato salad, and baked beans.
My choice of meat is pulled pork. I enjoy ribs, of course, but pulled pork is my standard. Although, there are times when a sampling of ribs or brisket are available.
Now, as a ‘purist,’ I do notbelieve that chicken can be barbecued, neither turkey, nor beef.
The headline “Public Food Establishment Not Fit For Human Consumption” would be adequate, I suppose, but I really like this lead as a headline much better: “I feel like I should’ve eaten a cucumber sandwich.”
That was actually a SMS which I’d sent a good friend of mine, who had mentioned that earlier in the day, he purchased some cucumbers at a local Farmer’s Market, was pondering how to prepare them, and was considering preparing cucumber sandwiches. Naturally, I gave him a fair amount of good-natured ribbing over the matter (suggesting perhaps that he should consider joining a ladies tea party group) particularly given that he has a penchant for sausages & “fair food,” sometimes aka “carnival food.”
How did I feel after that decidedly “ungastronomic” experience? A picture is worth a thousand words. Here is but one.
When I first heard about the dust-up over food mogul Paula Deen saying the n-word, my first reaction was “Um … OK.”I considered it just that – a dust-up. Big deal.But when it was reported that her extremely popular cooking show was being dropped from the Food Network, my thoughts changed to: “This is a big deal.”I’m guilty of spending the occasional Saturday morning in front of the tube with my wife, watching Paula whip up some Southern comfort food.When I heard she’d used the n-word at some point in her life, I wondered how I’d view her the next time she was on TV, concocting something you could almost taste through the screen and telling us “This is so good, y’all.”
This writing isn’t a defense of Paula Deen. She’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. And those businesses that are dropping association with her are just that – businesses. They have to consider the bottom line, which can be greatly affected by blows to their image. They essentially have been left with no choice.
I began to see the hypocrisy of expecting white people to adhere to a standard that I was not upholding myself.
The MSF is the Granddaddy of ’em all. Not only is it one of the oldest state fairs – since 1859, the only years it missed were 1861, 1862, 1893, 1945 & 1946 – it’s also the most well-attended, and the land where it all occurs is quite large. In fact, it’s ginormous!
The good people in Texas claim theirs has the highest attendance, and I suppose if the Minnesota State Fair was TWO WEEKS LONG like the TSF is, it’d put the Lone Star State to shame. However, the MSF is a 12-day event, and for that time, it draws a bigger crowd than the TSF.
Minnesota State Fair – Thursday August 22 Labor Day, through Monday September 2, 2013
Apologies to those Longhorns.
I’ve been to the MSF once – just once – and, I’d like to go again.
Yes, I would. It’s HUGE!!
Of course, in all fairness – yes, it’s a bad pun, but hey! It works! – I’d also like to go to the Texas State Fair, as well.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, January 13, 2013
Here’s the one-liner you’ll remember, albeit one with significant truth:
“There’s more pork in the Pentagon budget than a Smithfield corporate hog farm feedlot in North Carolina.”
Or, if you prefer:
“There’s more pork in the Pentagon budget than a Paula Deen Christmas recipe.”
And if the Pentagon budget were a recipe, it’d be a recipe for disaster.
The budget for the United States Department of Defense accounts for very nearly 6% of our nation’s budget. It is THE SINGLE LARGEST BUDGET ITEM in the entire budget. The amount of money sifting through the Pentagon’s hands is more than the combined defense budgets of the world’s top 15 wealthiest nations. And, it accounts for 4.7% of our nation’s economy. Late former President Dwight David Eisenhower was spot-on accurate in his Farewell Address to the nation 17 January 1961 when he warned us saying:
“This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence — economic, political, even spiritual — is felt in every city, every Statehouse, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet, we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources, and livelihood are all involved. So is the very structure of our society.
“In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
“We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.”
None of this is to say, of course, that any kind of spending on national defense is somehow a bad thing, for it is not. Yet Eisenhower specifically warned about even the spiritual implications of the DoD spending “Gone Wild.” However, the last time the people, the Congress, the President or anyone else – including the Comptroller General, the Office of the DoD Inspector General, or the Secretary of Defense ever said anything about being budget hawks on the use of the people’s taxes was September 10, 2001 when SecDefDonald Rumsfeld spoke to the Department of Defense, and announced that the Department of Defense “cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions.” Not only was that money MIA, but he added that…
“The technology revolution has transformed organizations across the private sector, but not ours, not fully, not yet. We are, as they say, tangled in our anchor chain. Our financial systems are decades old. According to some estimates, we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions. We cannot share information from floor to floor in this building because it’s stored on dozens of technological systems that are inaccessible or incompatible.
“We maintain 20 to 25 percent more base infrastructure than we need to support our forces, at an annual waste to taxpayers of some $3 billion to $4 billion. Fully half of our resources go to infrastructure and overhead, and in addition to draining resources from warfighting, these costly and outdated systems, procedures and programs stifle innovation as well. A new idea must often survive the gauntlet of some 17 levels of bureaucracy to make it from a line officer’s to my desk. I have too much respect for a line officer to believe that we need 17 layers between us.” -Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense, September 10, 2001
He discovered $2.3 Trillion in the DoD budget of taxpayer monies which had no accounting. It was “Missing In Action.” The next day, the World Trade Centers suffered terrorist attacks. We never heard anything ever again. [Read the text of his speech here: http://www.defense.gov/speeches/speech.aspx?speechid=430]
Here’s a video of the CBS news report.
And now, here’s a jet plane that is the veritable aircraft version of a Jack-of-all-Trades-and-Master-of-None, which our nation’s military has previously said they do not need, and already have other more durable, reliable and operable aircraft. And this is a thing that they have continuously said they want, rather than need.
Wants and needs are two entirely different things.
And not only that, but that the entire bidding process related to Defense contracts is fraught with cost overruns, late deliveries and more – all of which would NOT be, and is NOT tolerated in private enterprise. And yet, we somehow think that the sacred cow of Pentagon spending is somehow exempted from the normal rules of operation.
And now, with the budget items heating up again, it would be ludicrously preposterous to presume that the sacred cow of Pentagon slush funds slop trough is in pristine condition.
Other agencies, like American businesses and families throughout, have learned to live within their means, and make do with less.
Durability testing on the most complicated version of Lockheed Martin Corp.’s (LMT) F-35 was halted last month after “multiple” cracks were discovered in the fighter jet, according to the Pentagon’s testing office.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, September 27, 2012
I happen to enjoy friendship with a young family whose matriarch was at first, overjoyed at the prospects of their firstborn obtaining gainful employment in this tough economy.
Their son, who in this post is identified as Young Man, is a recent high school graduate, and demonstrates musical talent.
Recently she posted the following on her FaceBook page:
“Did you know if you work at McDonalds you are pretty much forced to *eat* McDonalds? 😦 The breakroom has only a table & chairs. No fridge to keep your food cool or microwave to heat it up. So, unless you are able to drive yourself to work & carry your food in a cooler in your car, then you have to eat there. Plus, you only get 30 minutes. This makes me upset! I’m trying to convince -*- to apply elsewhere…”
I found the numerous responses fascinating, which are as follows – my response is last, italicized and emboldened.
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, May 15, 2012
There’s no question but that America’s increase in overall obesity is due in large part to two factors: Diet & Exercise.
More specifically, it is Poor Diet & Lack of Exercise which has brought about much – if not all – of our increased waistlines, and the accompanying health problems associated with obesity – diabetes, joint failure, etc.
To be certain, however, our nation is perhaps THE best fed – er, make that MOST fed – nation in the world, bar none. And, generally speaking, even when discounting obesity, we are a large people in stature precisely because of our excellent nutritional status. Other, lesser developed nations do not fare as well, literally and figuratively, because of that reason. People in Southeast Asian nations, the Far East, nations in the African continent, in central Europe and in South America… there are few people in the world whom are as giant – and I do NOT mean obese – as Americans.
Even before obesity became a public health issue, Americans were considered people of large stature because of our ability to produce food. There was no scarcity of it.
Now, however, the changing tide of work – with a move toward a computer-driven and service economy – Americans have increasingly become sedentary. Desk jobs, or jobs which require little physical activity, are commonplace, and along with those changes have come health problems as a natural consequence of extra weight.
Again, considering the technological changes which have occurred in our nation, the jobs some of our forebears once worked are nothing like the ones we work today. Whereas once, they labored manually, the mechanization of labor reduced their need to exert themselves as strenuously. And today, one farmer can sit in an air-conditioned tractor outfitted with GPS navigation, cellular telephone, and more, and work several hundreds – if not thousands – of acres, and not even break a sweat. Previously, that was unimaginable. Now, it’s commonplace.
Given that our lifestyles have been significantly changed because of mechanization & technology, it should also be understood that Read the rest of this entry »
Shipwreck Beach at sunset, on Poipu in south Kauai
It’ll be on the island of Kauaʻi, which is the oldest, and most scenic of the Hawaiian islands. It’s also one of the more remote islands – though not as far as Midway – and with 90 miles of coastline containing 552 square miles, it is the last, largest island in the chain. Nearly 60,000 people call Kauai home, and it is the fourth largest island in the state.
While the traditional baked or roasted turkey or duck will be served on tables throughout the USA, Read the rest of this entry »
Because ‘back in the day’ – even TOday – poor folks did not have electricity, and certainly did not even have the earliest of refrigerators, the venerable icebox – which was a primitive insulated cabinet into which a large block of ice was placed in the top. Why the top? If you recall your third grade science lesson, cool temperature air falls. The only ‘cooling system’ poor folks had was a creek, upon which they would build a small ‘house’ – or more accurately, a shed – to cool their food. Therefore, they did not have the luxury of storing raw meat. Not having the ability to refrigerate or freeze fresh meat meant that it had to be cooked, prepared and otherwise preserved – either through smoking, salting or other methods such as sausage making.
A common method of preserving meat was to smoke it.
This morning as I awakened, I had set the alarm for 0630 in the thoughts that I might attend the 0800 worship service.
I did not.
I was awake until around 0100 watching a DVD series of MI-5 episodes. It’s a BBC production, and a fine television series at that! As I watch their productions, I am coming to think that they are superior in their story telling to many of these made-in-Hollywood Americans.
Anyway, as I listened for the deep gurgling sounds of the coffee maker starting up – I had also set it for 0630 (or so I thought) – I did not hear it, and thought Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, January 14, 2011
For the past hour or two, I have found myself relaxingas I’ve not relaxed in several days.
Here, in the Southeast, we’ve been inundated with wintry weather. Specifically, on the night of the 10th of January, parts of the South received up to a foot (12″) of powderysnow. As a matter of fact, it was recently reported that 49 of our 50 states had snow somewhere in them. That solitary exception… what state was it? Florida, of course! EvenHawaiihas snow capped peaks.
Not being familiar with snow, any forecast of snow in the South generates great skepticism, and continues to …Continue reading…
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, November 12, 2010
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) was once a respectable group, not only for what they promoted, but for how they promoted, as well. Now, they’ve become a “fringe element” group, which at times has operated similarly to a terrorist organization. It’s no wonder that people have lost confidence in them and their ideals.
Tomorrow – Saturday, November 13, 2010 – PETA will demonstrate in Huntsville, Alabama at a church which has an outstanding name in the community for their many good works, not the least of which is their always-immensely successful, long-standing “LobsterFest.” This year’s Lobsterfest XVII at St. Thomas Episcopal promises to be no different – that is, it will be a sold-out success.
What is particularly disconcerting is that PETA, in their fringe element mentality, offers only …Continue…
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Okay, for those of you reading this whom don’t already know, I post photographs on Flickr. As I’ve said, there are only two photographic subjects: 1.) people; and, 2.) things. Food is included in the latter category.
If your tastebudsare brain is working, you’ll need to make this recipe.
Here, from my Flickr page – in all it’s glory – is my recipe.
I like cooking (I wrote that again, just for you folks that’re seeing my photostream – and foodshots – for the first time.) So, I take pictures of the food I cook… and eat. Yup. Wowser, eh?
Anyway… this is a total delight – to prepare and consume! (At least that’s what the consumers said, ’cause I didn’t get to eat much of it! The leftovers were eaten by my neighbors. *LOL*)
I prepared it as part of a “beerbecue” with some friends I’d made through Flickr! Yaay, Flickr! House of Sims – Great folks, great family, great photographer!
Anyway… back to the recipe thingy.
When I’d gone up to Sewanee, TN a few days back, I’d bought some fresh fruit & veggies from a roadside vendor while on the way back home. (I’d purposed to do that, having seen him on the way up there.) Among those items was a huge basket of Rome apples, from (of all places, and appropriately enough) Rome, Georgia. They were tasty!
Again, purposing to do something different with a recipe, I securely applied my “Fly-By-The-Seat-Of-Your-Pants” device and proceeded to adventure in the kitchen.
Having absolutely no recipe from which to work, I set out and made my own! (The Army has patches for “Big Red 1,” the Special Forces vertical sword with lightning bolts across, “Pathfinder,” “Air Assault” and the “Expert/Combat Infantryman Badge.” (Maybe they should make one with a fork, French chef’s knife and spoon/ladle criss-crossed over a skillet and stock pot with a flame at the bottom. I’d wear it!)
Here’s what I did:
Peel & core apples. Reserve peel (this is an important step – do NOT omit it!). Chop apples coarsely. Make a strong NaClH2O mixture (Use little H2O & boil it, folks! It’ll hold more NaCl. Then dilute w H2O.). Add honey – lots of it – to NaClH2O. Rationale: Honey is hygroscopic, so is NaCl. NaCl will not affect apples, but allow the marinade/bath to absorb the flavors. Add: cinnamon, mace, allspice, ginger, nutmeg, ground clove, vanilla, in copious quantity. Big healthy squirt of lemon juice – don’t be stingy! – (sing the opening stanza of the Oscar Mayer song, “My baloney has a first name…” while squirting) Brown Sugar – lots and lots of it. Cranberries – about two handfuls. Marinate apples overnight (minimum 12 hours) in refrigerator – the longer, the better. (Oh yeah… make sure the cranberries are in there, too!) And the peel? You should’ve chopped it up finely and added it to the boiling mixture.
Dough:
Flour, whole wheat/white mixture – just dump it in. Lots’a extra risin’ (that’s “Baking Powder” for the uninitiated). One egg – don’t use those panty-waste, freakin’ micro-eggs – use the honkin’ JUMBO mamas! The bigger, the better. (If anyone asks, act like you know what you’re doing.) Lard (that would be PIG FAT – avoid the hydrogenated stuff – you can make your own by melting it – about two ladles/scoops). Butter – that would be COW MILK FAT (Teats are good – Mooof!) one stick – that’s 1/4 pound. Vanilla – you should have some from when you made the other stuff – and for goodness sake, DON’T be stingy! Cream – aka “Heavy Whipping Cream” (avoiding freaky innuendo here… but, she’s a very kinky girl, the kind you don’t take home to mother – unless you’re bold as love {Have you heard Ricky Skaggs bluegrass version of Rick James’ trademark song? No kidding!}). Vodka (cheap stuff is okay), brandy (your preference), Brown Sugar (how come you taste so good? Did you know that Rolling Stones tune was recorded in Muscle Shoals, AL?), white sugar (yep, but not as much as the good, brown stuff), Almonds – blenderize ’em to a powdery consistency – about 2-3 cups finished product. The astute cook will recognize… it’s a cookie dough! Yaay!
How to:
Combine dry ingredients. Melt fat/butter together, add vanilla & liquor (that’d be the vodka & brandy), cream – again, don’t be stingy! – in separate container. Get your hands in it and mix it all up – but first you gotta’ add the liquid to it! Grease interior of deep-dish baking pan (keeps it from sticking during cooking – and don’t avoid this step by justifying that you use some #$^&! “non-stik” pan – DO IT ANYWAY!) Tear off chunks of the dough and mash it out evenly throughout the pan, lining the bottom and walls. Use a slotted spoon to place marinated apple mixture into pan. Add some liquid, but not all – it should be just below the ingredients’ surface. Roll out remaining dough and apply to surface. Bake @ 350°F for about 30-45 minutes. If you’re a halfway decent cook, you’ll know when it’s done… by smell. Oh yeah… you should’ve put some coarsely chopped pecans under the crust before you cooked it. And just so you’ll know, put a shallow cookie sheet under the pan – it may (translate: most likely will) spill over during cooking.
Now, while that’s cooking you gotta’ do something with that remaining liquid.
Here’s a big giant hint: BOIL IT DOWN! Yep, make a syrup to pour over the top of the cobbler/pie! Hello!? Cooking is all about creativity, ingenuity and efficient use of resources. You know the adage: Waste not, want not.
When it’s done liberally apply butter to the top (while it’s hot, you silly thing, you!), and then pour the syrup all over the top.
Then, take some kind of serving device – preferably a big spoon – and insert it into the pan, gently moving up and under, with a slight twist of the wrist, remove a portion or section of the cooked contents. Place them in a bowl. Apply a heaping portion of vanilla ice cream (chocolate or neapolitan just won’t do in this example) to the top. Using a separate spoon, eat it all up.
Baking bread requires the virtues of patience and attention. It is hard work wrapped in warm smells and a tremendous sense of accomplishment when the job is done. The process seems undeniably 
Warm Southern Breeze 