Dog Came to Me in a Dream and Said…

…and Dog said, “Don’t get the vaccine.”

I was going to vaccinate Dog against rabies.

So, I asked Dog, “Dog, do you want to get the vaccine?”

Dog said, “I’m worried that it’ll make me sterile.”

I reminded Dog that she’d been spayed since shortly after she adopted me, about 5ive years.

Dog then said, “I need to be free to make my own decision.”

I reminded Dog that she lives rent-free, gets free food, water, and healthcare, and that she’s never complained about any of that.

Dog then said, “I never go roaming in the woods, am never running loose, or out and about among wild animals, so I’m at a significantly reduced risk.”

I reminded Dog that the virus is known to reside in the soil.

Dog said, “I don’t eat dirt.”

I reminded Dog that she regularly sniffs the soil — every time, in fact, when she goes outside to relieve herself.

Dog replied, “I’ve never smelled it.”

I told dog that, as keen a sniffer as she and other dogs are known to have, there is not a characteristic odor to the virus, and that once infected, by the time she would show any sign of infection, it would already be too late, that infection is a practical death sentence.

Dog said, “I’d rather live free, than die vaccinated.”

I reminded Dog that no one has died from the vaccination.

Dog then said, “It’s against my religion.”

I reminded Dog that she’d never set foot in any religious temple, mosque, synagogue, or church building, and that she has never been invited to any type of religious service by anyone.

Dog said, “It doesn’t matter.”

I then said, “If it doesn’t matter, then you’re getting it — whether you like it, or not. Look bitch, you’re going to get the damn vaccine because I’m NOT going to place MY life and MY health at risk just because YOU don’t want to get vaccinated. So, even if you don’t care about YOUR life, I care enough about MINE, and you’re getting it. End of conversation.”

I then picked her up, put her in the car, and drove to the Veterinarian’s office where she got vaccinated.