Ted Nugent Has COVID-19

After denying its existence, the washed-up once-upon-a-time rock musician, pedophile, and Motor City Moron

Ted Nugent has announced that he has become infected with COVID-19.

Not COVID 18, COVID 17, COVID 16, COVID 15, but COVID-19.

Perhaps this is Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, v2.0, eh?

Y’know, deep within, I had a feeling that it would only be a very short matter of time before he changed his tune… after becoming infected.

And sure ‘nuff… that’s what happened!

Musician Ted Nugent said yesterday, Monday 19 April 2021, that he tested positive for COVID-19 and had been experiencing intensely severe symptoms, even though he called the pandemic a “hoax” in the recent past.

During a FaceBook Live broadcast yesterday he said, “I was tested positive today. Everybody told me I should not announce this, but can you hear it, I have had flu symptoms for the last 10 days and I thought I was dying. I got the Chinese shit. Just a clusterfuck. I got a stuffed up head, body aches… oh my god, what a pain in the ass. I literally can hardly crawl out of bed, the last few days but I did. I crawled.”

[When faced with stark reality, suddenly, his tune changed. Fascinating.]

He also expressed refusal to get vaccinated against the disease, and ignorantly said, “Nobody knows what’s in it. If you can’t even honestly answer our questions of exactly what’s in it and why are you testing it on human beings and forcing it on people in such a short period of time?”

[There’s cherry pie and chocolate soda in it, you blithering moronic idiot. If you’re so ignorant that you can’t even get the name correct, what’s the chance that you’d even remotely understand anything like science, eh?]

Earlier this month in another Facebook Live broadcast, he expressed a reckless attitude toward the viral disease and said, “Why weren’t we shut down for COVID 1-through-18? We don’t earmark a safety net during a scamming pandemic. It’s not a real pandemic and that’s not a real vaccine, I’m sorry. I ain’t taking no vaccine. I ain’t taking no vaccine. You come at me with a needle and I will be in fear of my life. You know what I’ll do if you come at me with a needle. ‘Hi I’m from the government, this needle’s good for you.’ Fuck you. They claim 500,000 people have died from COVID-19. Bullshit. I believe that medical examiners in all 50 states have gone, ‘I put down on the death certificate that he died of asphyxiation, but they made me put COVID.’”

[All of life is one giant conspiracy theory. And everybody’s out to get you.]

And, in December last year, he said that George Floyd committed suicide, rather than being murdered by a police officer who kneeled on his neck for 9½ minutes, and simultaneously denied the existence of any race-related problems in America.

“There’s systemic racism in Black Lives Matter, there’s systemic racism in the Sudan, there’s systemic racism in Nigeria but there’s almost no racism at all in America. You’ve got to really look hard to find it. I haven’t seen it. The law enforcement here save lives. They serve and protect. George Floyd killed himself with fentanyl. He couldn’t breathe all by himself in the back seat. He fought the cops. They tried to save him and maybe get him some help and to save the community he had thugged all his life.”

[All’s well in La-La Land.]

Now here’s something to think about when you ponder Ted Nugent.

In a phoned-in interview with Howard Stern Monday, March 22, 2004, she stated that when she was aged 12, she performed oral sex upon him while backstage at one of his concerts. That would have been in 1976, and Ted would have been 28.

In one of his songs entitled “Jailbait,” Ted Nugent wrote,

“Well, I don’t care if you’re just 13
You look too good to be true
I just know that you’re probably clean…
Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine…
It’s quite alright, I asked your mama
Wait a minute, officer
Don’t put those handcuffs on me
Put them on her, and I’ll share her with you.”

That song was first released in March 1981 as a live performance and appeared on the album “Intensities in 10 Cities” album as track number 4 on side 1.

The song is licensed by ASCAP, and a search of their repertoire base shows the following information about the song:

JAILBAIT

• ISWC:

  T0711845167

• Work ID:

  400082228

• Total Current ASCAP Share: 93.75%
• Total Current BMI Share: 0%

Writers

ASCAP controls: 50% BMI controls: 0%	PRO	IPI
NUGENT THEODORE A	ASCAP	63419091

Publishers

ASCAP controls: 43.75% BMI controls: 0%	PRO	IPI
CHAPPELL-CO INC

	ASCAP	5876870
MAGICLAND MUSIC

	ASCAP	87457925
SELDAK L L C

	ASCAP	339414655
Additional Non-ASCAP and Non-BMI Publishers

Performers

• NUGENT T
• NUGENT TED

Alternate Titles

• JAIL BAIT