Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Do We Own Relationships?

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, October 4, 2019

In an email exchange with a long-time friend about human sexuality and religion, I expressed an idea which I’ve been developing for quite some time, but had never written it. Though I’d talked about it with others, I’d never written it.

The idea concerns itself with the proposal that our sexuality has been, and largely continues to be, a tool by which we are controlled for others’ purposes, most notably religious and political.

Christendom, and other religions – including the Abrahamic traditions of Judaism, and Islam – have continually said “no” to the expression of human sexuality, even though sexual response and the orgasm itself is but a mere function of the autonomic nervous system, which is but one of many in a collection of bodily functions over which we have no control, including pupillary response, digestion, rate of respiration and heart rate, blood pressure, and micturition (the creation of urine), most notably.

So it seems more than odd that we should be punished by religions for something over which we largely have little-to-no control. And yet, within many religions, it is precisely that sort of thing which (the attempt to control one’s uncontrollable functions) has innervated religions for eons. We see it in the flagellation associated with the Passion of the Christ in annual displays worldwide. We see it in the writings of the Desert Fathers whose asceticism is renown. We see it even in the daily functions of Abrahamic religions. It is pervasive.

Raquel Welch, in Los Angeles, on a cross; 1970 photograph by British photographer Terry O’Neill; wearing a fur bikini from the 1966 motion picture “One Million Years B.C.,” in which she starred, which was a remake of the original 1940 “One Million B.C.”

As well, a sense of shame and guilt is brought with it in order to continue to subdue others. None of it makes any sense. And yet, amidst it all, faithful adherents are told to become “more Christlike,” or “godly” by taming other genuinely negative behaviors and expressions such as selfishness, anger, hatred, lying, and numerous other unbecoming attitudes.

However, the root cause of it all has largely, to date, undefined – though it has been touched upon in numerous homilies, sermons, and teachings.

And so, while it is largely unrefined, per se, the core of the idea which I have been long considering is expressed here below, and is excerpted from an email to a long-time friend.


The Scriptures make it abundantly clear that:

1.) We are not our own;
2.) The Earth is the LORD’S and the fulness thereof;
3.) The Parable of the Vineyards;
4.) “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.”
Lev 25:23, PS 24:1; 1Cor10:26; Hag 2:8; etc.

The central idea is that this joint ain’t ours, we’re just the occupiers. (Luke 19:13) It is our responsibility to care for it until the Owner returns.

The central theme to Western law is private ownership – an idea 180º contrary to the Scripture. Similar to Judeo-Christian teaching, even Eastern religious tradition identifies that private ownership is anathema to Jehovah, and Christ. (I am not a JW, but use that name specifically to acknowledge the Almighty.)

If we own a thing – anything – we can do what we will with it, simply because it is ours. Not only do we merely possess it, we have “ownership rights” – unparalleled, unchallenged, unequivocal and absolute right to do literally ANYTHING with it we want… as long as it does NOT infringe upon another’s rights, or harm another in any way.

We colloquially and casually invoke private ownership when we say the word “mine.” Neil Young wrote a song about that very idea, which was popularized by Linda Ronstadt – “Love Is A Rose – but you better not pick it. Only grows when it’s on the vine. Handful of thorns and you know you’ve missed it. Lose your love when you say the word ‘mine.'”

“Lose your love when you say the word ‘mine.’”

My love, my relationship, my car, my clothes, my life, my wife, my son, my dog, my husband, my boyfriend, my food, my this, that, or the other. Mine… mine… mine… I, me, me, mine. It’s MINE!! And I can do with it as I goddamn see fit!

I’m gonna’ sue the shit out of you because you STOLE FROM ME what is MINE!! You are a thief!

Terra cotta plague from the Israel Museum c4000 BCE; According to Dr. Julia Assante, a Near Eastern social historian, the woman drinking beer from a straw was not just a reflection of lifelike sexual encounters, but was “undoubtedly a [visual pun].” The straw in the woman’s mouth and the man raising a cup of wine to his lips were symbolic of performing oral sex on their respective partners. The Babylonians, Assante writes, held “an exalted cultural view of sex as inducing an altered state of wonder.”

However, and again, the Scripture makes it OVERWHELMINGLY, ABUNDANTLY, EXPLICITLY, and UNEQUIVOCALLY CLEAR that “the Earth is the LORD’s and the fulness thereof” which clearly identifies us as tenants and occupiers who have a mandated requirement to care for all things precisely because they are NOT our own.

Even thievery is treated lightly in the Scriptures, as evidenced by Proverbs 6:30, 1, which clearly states “do not despise the thief…” Is it not more than coincidental that the subsequent verse is “But he who commits adultery…”?

If we have ownership rights, then when our absolute rights are transgressed, we in turn have an absolute right to retribution, vengeance, and the exacting of punishment from the offender. In essence, we become the transgressor’s master, and for all practical purposes “own” the transgressor, because they possessed our property. (Possession is 9/10th’s of the law.)

We get “justifiably” pissed off and otherwise angry, and seek avenues of retribution and to exact punishment upon those who transgress against us in a variety of ways. Among those ways are cessation of relationship – a type of murder, or death, including of marriage – a ceremonial human institution, for the Almighty did NOT establish any such relationship. Only man did. Yet, the Almighty “conceded” or “acceded” to our requests, “but Moses allowed it because of the hardness of your hearts.” (Mt 19:8)

However, if things are not ours, and we are told that we MUST “give to those who ask” (Mt 5:42) it is a fundamental acknowledgement that what is IN OUR POSSESSION is NOT ours, but merely on loan to us. Easy come, easy go.

We are frequently told to rely upon Heaven, the Almighty, for all that we need. Furthermore, we are told to NOT even bother asking for anything that we need. (Mt 6:8; Lk 12:30)

If then, all things will be and are supplied to us, nothing belongs to us, and all things are entrusted to us, that includes relationships.

Again, when we consider things as ours, we in turn claim, or exercise justifiable rationales to become angry, bitter, and exact possession of numerous emotions (none of which are godly) because we have a “right” to do so, then we are fully, wholly, consciously, and willfully abandoning the core of what it means to be “godly.”

Consider also this:

No parent has ever (or, perhaps no parent in their right mind) willfully abandoned their own child. Yes, it’s true that some have, but understand the idea which I mean to convey. Even if your own flesh and blood pissed you off so VERY MUCH that you could’ve – in the heat of passion – strangled the very life out of them, you STILL, to this day, acknowledge that you loved them then, and love them now… even if the shitty little pissant assholes were acting like goddamn mutha’ fucking sons-of-bitches at the time. Yeah… you STILL love them. So, in essence, you would “never leave nor forsake them.”

So if that be the case, there is “nothing that will be able to separate us” from love. (Rom 8:38,9)

It is simply inconceivable that someone who fully, wholly, and completely loves another would abandon them, regardless of how they were mistreated, abused, or misused by the object of their affection.

An Old Babylonian clay plaque on display at The Israel Museum depicts a couple having sex. (photo credit: The Israel Museum) Ancient Israel was the land bridge connecting the two major civilizations of the ancient Near East, Egypt and Mesopotamia, and its culture was influenced heavily by both. A stark difference, however, was the difference in ancient Babylonian and Israelite perspectives on male homosexuality. The Babylonians, writes Prof. Karen Rhea Nemet-Nejat in her book “Daily Life in Ancient Mesopotamia,” “didn’t condemn this practice” and observed a live-and-let-live attitude in regard to male-male sex. The Book of Leviticus, on the other hand, bans lying “with mankind, as with womankind” as “an abomination.”

So, if a human parent would NEVER even consider abandoning their own child, how much more would it be inconceivable for the ethereally infallible perfect Parent who will “never leave nor forsake you” (Dt 31:6; PS 37:28; 1 Kings 8:57; 1 Chron 28:20, etc.) to eternally forsake and condemn the object of their affection to an eternal torment?

The notion of such a place of eternal perdition is inconsistent with a Being whom is pure love, and furthermore, is wholly at odds with the expressed message of whole, total, full, and complete acceptance… no matter what – the veritable “just as I am” message oft sung in many Protestant congregations at the “come to Jesus” invitation.

Regarding relationship, and sexuality, humanity has a known propensity toward evil… and, we justify it because we own whatever we use to justify our hatred and enmity toward another. After all, we OWN it. It is OURS – marriage and relationship, particularly and especially. So fuck that little asshole, and screw that little whoring cunt, and fuck the shithead who screws around us! Right? YOU VIOLATED YOUR OATH and promise to ME!

Suddenly, you see, it has become selfish. Me, me, me… I am hurt, and YOU hurt me! I have a RIGHT to exact vengeance upon YOU because YOU damaged MY relationship!

However… it was never yours to begin with.

I remain convinced that, knowing that we have a tendency toward selfishness and possession, it was the Almighty’s intent to concede to our own weakness in that sense, to avoid even worse behavior by simply saying “don’t do this, don’t do that, and don’t do the other,” as evidenced in the Ten Commandments, which are 60% about man’s relationship to man, and only 40% about man’s relationship to Heaven.

Frankly, I see the commandment(s) as more a “head ’em off at the pass” sort of maneuver (to avoid the inevitable negative behaviors associated with such transgressions), than as a “I’m going to permanently fuck you over if you don’t do this” kind of ethic.

So essentially, I can also understand – at least in some manner – the multiple wives thing, which today we call “plural marriage.” You see, the Almighty NEVER condemned that sort of behavior, right?

And again, what we’re talking about is agreement with people to GET ALONG WITH each other. Right?

And isn’t our behavior to even the worst events ultimately that thing, or that measure by which defines us as either “godly” or not?

I always welcome your thoughts.


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