Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Golf Balls & Reality Teevee

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, May 1, 2019


Today, I saw a demonstration video of a toilet made by American Standard (⬆︎linked⬆︎above⬆︎). The company boasts that their Champion 4 model can flush 56 chicken nuggets effortlessly. They also advertise that it can flush 24 golf balls at once.

That’s what caught my attention – the golf balls.

Advertising toilets is much like advertising sanitary napkins or tampons – feminine hygiene products made to absorb menstrual blood flow. On teevee, they’re ALWAYS depicted as absorbing a blue liquid, which is most likely water with bluing added. Never red. Never. Perhaps the advertisers mean to suggest that if women purchase their branded products, they’ll become blue bloods.

Toilets are similarly depicted – never showing life’s reality. It’s just too… real.

So-called “reality” teevee is more surreal than real, especially when a naked man and woman are thrust together in a half-cocked scheme to “find” their way “back to” whatever version of reality from which they originated. There was a time when a naked man and naked woman put together would be finding other, better, more pleasant things to do rather than traipse across the countryside in their birthday suits.

Yet that’s what passes for “entertainment” these days. Never wonder why I’ve not owned a teevee for at least 10yrs.

But, back to the golf balls.

The American Standard Champion 4 model toilet is depicted in advertising as flushing two dozen golf balls in one flush.

That’s impressive, of course, but the thought that occurred to me was ‘that would be the perfect toilet for a golf course.’ It might even be found in Tiger Woods’ residence. Recall that he was once a paid endorser of Buick automobiles to the tune of $7,000,000/yr.

That’s a lot of toilets flushing 24 golf balls.

Maybe they’re 24-karat gold plated golf balls. Then, they’d be found at Trump’s chintzy Mar-a-Lago golf resort.

At last check (yesterday, Easter Sunday, 21 April 2019), since Inauguration Day, Trump has played 170 days/rounds of golf at his private clubs at a cost exceeding $97,000,000 to the American taxpayers, according to a GAO report on the matter. At that point in his presidency – as of year 2, day 91 – his predecessor, then-President Barack Obama, had played 65.

And, just like Trump Made America Great Again, Buick – GM’s “other” luxury brand – sales fell 70% from 1984-2006, all while Tiger Woods promoted them.

“I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to go play golf.”
— Donald J. Trump, August, 2016

And now, I’m thinking about the “Trump Digs Coal” signs foisted upon our nation’s coal miners during Trump’s visits to Pennsylvania, and the eight times he’s been to West Virginia.

Old King Coal ain’t coming back.
Natural gas is far cheaper.
And the Opioid Crisis continues unabated, especially in West Virginia.
Are we great yet?

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