Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Florida: Tough On Crime…

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Tuesday, January 29, 2019

…and soft on the bowels.

Yes, it’s true.

If you steal laxatives from your neighbor in Florida, you’ll get arrested – and charged with a felony.😳

They’re tough on crime… and soft on the bowels!🤣

Seems that Peter Hans Emery Jr., 56, took some pills from a “lock box” at the victim’s Pinellas Park home, thinking they were the narcotic medication hydrocodone-acetamenophen, because… that’s what was printed on the label.

The complaint lists Emery’s home address as the site of the theft, but his relationship with the 49-year-old victim is unknown.

Seems also that a video camera caught the man in the act.

It didn’t take Emery too long to discover that he didn’t have painkillers, because the pill bottle actually had Gentle Laxative, the Equate brand by Wal-Mart which promises “predictable overnight relief” from constipation.

Peter Hans Emery

He was booked into the Pinellas County jail on a felony charge since he had two prior theft convictions, and is also facing probation violation charges since he is in the midst of a two-year community supervision term related to a conviction last year for theft and illegal possession of the painkiller Dilaudid.

Emery is a habitual offender, and has served a total of 28 months in state prison with has a rap sheet full of arrests for offenses like burglary; cocaine possession; forgery; grand theft; resisting arrest; auto theft; and failure to appear in court.

Emery was also on Federal probation at the time of his recent arrest, has priors that include two theft convictions – one in 2014 and another in 2015, according to jail records.

Jailers didn’t mention how much toilet paper he requested.

2 Responses to “Florida: Tough On Crime…”

  1. jvlivs said

    Talk about being “full of crap”!


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