Bullying: Yes, it’s real, and yes, you have ultimate power over bullies.

In the past couple days, in the course of my reading on Professional Nursing Development & other healthcare related topics, I’ve also read about forgiveness.

Nurse bullying is a real thing. It’s tragic, of course, that it exists, but it does exist, and is probably more common than some imagine.

So we’ve moved from forgiveness to bullying, eh?

No… not really.

Here’s why not.

Bullying is never acceptable behavior.

Bullying, of course, is threatening and intimidating behavior used as a manipulative technique by someone who wants to force themselves, their ways, or opinions, on another person. And because Nursing is an exceedingly Female-dominated profession, that means that for the most part, Females are the ones doing bullying in Nurse bullying cases & scenarios.

And to be certain, bullying can occur in any human relationship, personal or business-to-business – it isn’t limited to the schoolyard.

Here’s where the forgiveness part comes in handy.

Our internal response to bullying is where our power is truly demonstrated.

Now, to be certain, bullying in any form should NOT be tolerated, and should be reported openly to prevent it from happening again, and to thwart and punish those who practice it. But what I’m referring to is our personal, internal response to bullying.

When bullying occurs, we are caught off-guard and intimidated, and that intimidation is accompanied by fear and shame… both of which are negative and unproductive emotions.

Fear has a paralyzing effect, while shame has a guilt-inducing effect. And excessive unjustified guilt as found in shame is a type of self-loathing, self-hatred which is we ourselves telling ourselves that we are unworthy, that we are not loved, that we are no good, that there is nothing beneficial about us or our lives.

Again, taken to an extreme, shame is a type of internal, negative self-talk which exclusive purpose is to destroy ourselves. And it is we who do it to ourselves when we listen to, consider, and thereby heed the bully’s tactics. It induces, creates, and causes the “we are our own worst enemy” mentality to thrive. In effect, when we listen to and heed the bully, we begin to commit a tortuously slow emotional & psychological suicide.

NONE OF WHAT THE BULLY SAYS IS TRUE!

Again, here’s where forgiveness is crucial and critical:
It is precisely what we think about the bully that either continues to perpetuate the negative effects of what the bully said, or liberates us from the self-imposed chains and constraints the bullying tactics would create.

In effect, here’s what that means:
1.) Don’t let others live rent-free in your mind, or heart.
2.) Don’t let others obliquely or surreptitiously control you without your permission.

Forgiveness – even in the face of deliberate wrong-doing – is often better for the aggrieved, than for the transgressor.

For that reason, forgiveness allows us to release the bully from the chains that would otherwise emotionally bind us to the bully, and allow the bully to live on in our hearts and minds, thereby making us enslaved to the bully… and the net effect of bullying then, would have become successful.

And if we are to be truly free, we must forgive – even in the face of, and despite deliberate wrong-doing to us.

Forgiveness is a gentle, yet ultimately powerful, liberating force.

Forgiveness sets free those who are oppressed.

Forgiveness frees us all.