You’re not from around here, are you?

The “Georgia Walnut Pie,” seen here at Harbor View Cafe, Pepin, Wisconsin (Originally uploaded by rabidscottsman)

An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts

Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.

But never you mind.

Pie and ice cream.

Who doesn’t like it?

Sounds dee-lish… right?

Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.

And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.

I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”

Somebody should tell those folks that…

Walnuts are grown in California.

Peaches, pecans, peanuts are grown in Georgia.

As are sweet Vidalia Onions. But then, nobody wants an onion pie.

‘Course now, in all fairness, and in deference to our Northern brethren, MN does have some role in walnut production – even if it’s almost none at all.

Anyway, it’s just that Minnesota is better known for ludfisk – that excessively salty, gelatinous, protein-robbed, boiled-in-oil-and-soaked-in-lye mess that parades as food. Now, for the Minnesotans reading this, here’s a state resource for growing walnuts.
http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/naturalresources/dd0505.html

But one can’t blame them. After all, Minnesota has to be known for something bedsides cold weather. Hell… even the Mayo Clinic moved out of Minnesota. And where did they move to? The warmer climes of Jacksonville, Florida & Scottsdale, Arizona, of course. To be certain, there is a Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota – and it is the original. But you really gotta’ suspect something’s up when folks move away… FAR, FAR away to much warmer, even tropical locales.

But back to the pie.

One good thing about that pie is that it’s not frozen. Minnesotans specialize in that. Freezing, that is.

And I would imagine, that since that pie is probably served HOT, it could be called ANYTHING. It could be called Luau Pie, Pork Pie, or even Cutie Pie. After all, once you get South of the Mason-Dixon Line, things begin to heat up, and not just a wee bit.

‘Course then, if that pie was called “Minnesota Walnut Pie,” it wouldn’t be as tasty, and it’d probably be colder’n Hades, since it wouldn’t be perceived as “exotic” – which is a fancy word meaning “not from around here.”

And THAT my friends, is the definition of an “expert” – that is, someone “not from around here.” More specifically, an “expert” is somebody who carries a briefcase and lives at least 50 miles away.

So, in some way, experts are exotic.

Go figure.

When I was a kid, to me, “exotic” meant women who danced around half-naked, or even fully naked.

I never could figure out why those women didn’t dance that way for their husbands.

Who cares?

Just shut up and eat your pie.

Via Flickr:
Georgia Walnut Pie
One of the best pies out there!
at
Harbor View Café
Pepin, Wisconsin
July 14th 2013