Minnesota State Fair New Foods for 2013

The Minnesota State Fair is just a few months away!

The MSF is the Granddaddy of ’em all. Not only is it one of the oldest state fairs – since 1859, the only years it missed were 1861, 1862, 1893, 1945 & 1946 – it’s also the most well-attended, and the land where it all occurs is quite large. In fact, it’s ginormous!

The good people in Texas claim theirs has the highest attendance, and I suppose if the Minnesota State Fair was TWO WEEKS LONG like the TSF is, it’d put the Lone Star State to shame. However, the MSF is a 12-day event, and for that time, it draws a bigger crowd than the TSF.

Minnesota State Fair – Thursday August 22 Labor Day, through Monday September 2, 2013

Apologies to those Longhorns.

I’ve been to the MSF once – just once –  and, I’d like to go again.

Yes, I would. It’s HUGE!!

Of course, in all fairness – yes, it’s a bad pun, but hey! It works! – I’d also like to go to the Texas State Fair, as well.

I happened to see the menu for the “new” foods appearing this year at the 2013 Minnesota State Fair. It’s 5ive pages of greasy… er, delightfully delectable goodness… on a stick.

Everyone guffaws about food on a stick, but most folks probably don’t know the half of it about the average MSF food vendor.

For Twelve Glorious Days – From Thursday, Labor Day, August 22, though Monday, September 2, 2013 – the average food vendor make$ over $ix figure$.

You read that right. For about 12 days of work, the average food vendor at the Minnesota State Fair makes a very healthy $ix Figure $alary. Of course, that doesn’t count the work & planning that’s put into the event, nor does it count the cost of the preparation or of the food sold, or any other factor. It’s merely a statement of sales.

Big Andy — ¼-pound hamburger topped with Philly steak, sautéed onions, red & green peppers and melted American-Swiss cheese. Available at Andy’s Grille, located on Carnes Ave., near Chambers St. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

Nevertheless, the MSF & TSF are two venues where the world of the weird & wonderful collide. Foods from all over, under & about are introduced to the world. It’s where gluttons galore gourmonds enjoy a holiday of sorts, a veritable vacation from dietary sanity. For many, it’s a time to capitalize upon the corny, to masticate the macerated, to fillet the Philly fries, to lick, chew, chomp, slurp, bite, gobble, guzzle, gorge, grab and ingurgitate almost every unimaginable form of culinary item, all in the hopes of digesting the seemingly indigestible.

At least it’s not “competitive eating,” though doubtless, there’ll be some of that.

Again, in all fairness, what would it be without at least a partial review of the “new” items to hit the gullets of fair-goers this year?

Bourbon Wurst — Homemade specialty pork sausage seasoned with sage, caraway, nutmeg and infused with a distinctive & prestigious bourbon whiskey. Available at Sausage by Cynthia, located on Judson Ave., just off of Nelson St. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

The Big Andy would be “big” if it were a 1/2 pound. A quarter ain’t nothin’. Mickey D’s does that. But what I ~really~ wanna’ know is, why ain’t it fried and on a stick? Hah!

The Bourbon Wurst sounded interesting. Only thing I’d be curious about is, “Where’s the bottle?” Throw in a miniature with every purchase, and you’d have a deal!

CafŽé Caribe’s Taco Slider Trio — A sampler of 3 bite-size tacos: grilled jerk chicken with cheese; pulled pork smothered in a tangy BBQ sauce; and crunchy shrimp topped with creamy chipotle sauce. All are garnished with citrus slaw. Available at CafŽ Caribe, located on Carnes Ave., near Chambers St. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

With a confluence of flavors, Café Caribe’s Taco Slider Trio sounds intriguing. I mean, grilled jerk chicken w cheese; pulled pork smothered in tangy BBQ sauce & crunchy shrimp topped w creamy chipotle sauce all garnished w citrus slaw… what a flavor explosion! But I am curious, and wonder – would it slide on out? I mean really… why call it a “slider”? That just sounds so unappetizing. You know… kinda’ like hearing “a roll of Charmin with every purchase!”

Chop Dogs — A Kramarczuk all-beef wiener chopped into pieces and grilled until the skin turns crusty. Served original-style, chili dog-style or in a brat-style currywurst. Available at Blue Moon Dine-In Theater, located on the corner of Chambers St. and Carnes Ave. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

The Chop Dogs make me wonder…

Hey! Where’s my dachshund!?!

The Craft Beer Battered Onion Rings… just give me the beer. Okay?

Deep Fried Olives. NOW you’re talkin’! Are they on a stick?

Craft Beer Battered Onion Rings — Thick-cut onions are dipped in Indeed Daytripper, a local craft beer, then battered, deep fried and served with a spicy beer mustard. Available at Ball Park Café, located on Underwood St., near Carnes Ave. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

English Toffee Fudge Puppy – Everyone knows that the English can’t cook. HEY! Where’s my dachshund!?!

Fried Pickles ‘n’ Chocolate – Bachelor College Student food.

Hawaiian Dog – Huh? No pineapple?

Idaho Nachos – WHITE POWER!

Minnepumpkin Pie – Deep fried pumpkin pie w cinnamon & sugar dusted flaky crust & served w vanilla or cinnamon ice cream. On a stick, right? I mean, the world ~has~ heard of fried ice cream, right?

Persian Kabob Koobideh – I thought we were at war with al Qaeda. And here we are, eating their food. What’s wrong with this picture?

And there you have it!

When do we start?

Pass the Pepto, please…

English Toffee Fudge Puppy — Chocolate-covered bits of English toffee baked in the middle of a fudge puppy (Belgian waffle on-a-stick) then dipped in chocolate and layered with whipped cream, a toffee sauce and more bits of chocolate-covered English toffee. Available at Granny’s Kitchen Fudge Puppies, located on the outside west wall of the Food Building. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

Deep Fried Olives — Extra large, pitted green olives dipped in a seasoned batter, deep fried to a golden brown and served with dipping sauce. Available at Fried Fruit, located in Carousel Park, east of the Grandstand Ramp. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)

Fried Pickles ‘n’ Chocolate — Preferred Pickles’ popular deep fried pickles dusted with powdered sugar and served with a side of chocolate for dipping.
Available at Preferred Pickles, located on the corner of Dan Patch Ave. and Liggett St. (Photo courtesy of the Minnesota State Fair.)