Crappy Writing in Huntsville’s nearly defunct newspaper
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, November 10, 2012
Critique with explanation follows the story.
Huntsville police searching for man who entered family’s hotel room, took laptop and fled
By Kelly Kazek | email@example.com
November 10, 2012 at 8:59 AM, updated November 10, 2012 at 10:39 AM
HUNTSVILLE, Alabama – A family was asleep in a hotel in the 3000 block of University Drive when a man entered the room at about 3:45 a.m., according to a Huntsville Police report.
Police are searching for a black male after a father stated he burglarized the room. The victim said his wife awoke as a man entered the room. The offender then told the woman he was a hotel manager and that a laptop computer in their room had been reported stolen. He grabbed the computer and fled.
After the victim verified the offender was not a manager he notified authorities.
Police said entry into the room was not forced.
The investigation is ongoing.
The Huntsville Times is owned by the same privately-held publishing group Advance Publications/Newhouse News, which also owns the Birmingham News, Mobile Press-Register & New Orleans Times-Picayune… all which are now printed only on Sunday, Wednesday & Friday.
In other words, the “suits” can’t figure out how to make money.
1.) Headline is excessively lengthy
2.) Story is poorly written.
– The second sentence, which reads “Police are searching for a black male after a father stated he burglarized the room,” indicates that the father burgled the room, rather than “a black male,” as specifically stated in the story.
– The name of the hotel/motel is not stated. Why not? Motels/hotels in the 3000 block of University Drive are: a.) Red Carpet Inn; b.) Economy Inn, c.) Quality Inn; d.) La Quinta Inn; e.) Value Place.} http://goo.gl/maps/t2fDC
Y’know… it’s difficult to imagine that folks obtain a university education to write at or below the 5th grade level.