Eat me… Drink me… It’ll cure what ails you! (But by law, I can’t guarantee that.)

Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland?

Perhaps, to some extent.

And sure… the title’s whacky, but so’s the idea behind the post – and I think there’s an interesting modern parallel.

To find out why, read on.

Ever watch doctor shows on teevee?

No, not House, Marcus Welby, MD, ER, Scrubs or the made-for-teevee doctor drama shows.

I’m talking about stuff like Dr. Oz on the Oprah Channel, and the seemingly endless variety of Dr. So-and-Sos on some of the Protestant religious networks like Trinity, CBN, The Church Channel, DayStar, The God Channel, Christian Television Network and others.

Perhaps more than anything, this is an issue of ethics. If someone has something to gain by purporting to “share information” with you, then WATCH OUT! The Latin phrase is “caveat emptor” – literally “Let the buyer beware.”

Our government, while not a nanny, does have “nanny” roles, such as ensuring standards for correct weights and measures, that labels are truthful, and that claims are not unsubstantiated. Such “nanny” roles (those whom decry them, call them such) prevent a bullying of the weak, the innocent, the poor, and the unsuspecting. It prevents Social Darwinism – the “law of the jungle” – from ruling the day. Jungle rule is not for civil society. And ours, as we’re often reminded, is a nation of laws.

Personally, I oppose those doctors, physicians and others whom have teevee shows to promote their product, along as a guise for helping others, when the bottom line is, they’re only helping their own wallets.

Ancillary to this issue is a similar one with California-based Billionaires Stewart and Lynda Resnick, whom made their fortunes importing “Fiji Water,” distributing “POM Wonderful” pomegranate juice, “Cuties” mandarins and “Teleflora” floral bouquets.

Called the “Pom Queen” by advertisers, she has hired medical scientists to extol health claims that their brand of fruits and nuts – not any others – help fight disease and extend life expectancy. There is NO scientific evidence to support their claims.

And, they have “marketing savvy.” Last year, after a nationwide recall of pistachios because of concern over salmonella, she hired Levi Johnston, the unwed teen father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, to promote their nuts as snacks. Their domestic pistachio sales increased 40 percent over last year’s crop.

Other cases in point are:
from TBN:
Dr. John McDougall
“The founder of The McDougall Plan for healthy living, has been studying and writing about the effects of nutrition on disease for over 20 years. Dr. John McDougall believes that people should look and feel great, and enjoy optimal health for a lifetime.” http://www.DrMcDougall.com/
Health and Medical Center

The intro to his website asks: “Ever consider…
diet vs drugs?
oatmeal vs obesity?
peas vs pills?
cabbage vs CABG?
supper vs surgery?
Then consider meeting Dr. McDougall.”

Reading the self-promotion part of his site, it states:
“John A. McDougall, M.D.
Physician and nutrition expert who teaches better health through vegetarian cuisine. John A. McDougall, MD. has been studying, writing and “speaking out” about the effects of nutrition on disease for over 30 years.

“Dr. McDougall is the founder and medical director of the nationally renowned McDougall Program, a ten-day, residential program located at a luxury resort in Santa Rosa, CA — a place where medical miracles occur through proper diet and lifestyle changes. Dr. McDougall has cared for thousands of patients over almost 3 decades of medical practice and has run a highly successful live-in program for more than 20 years. Dr. McDougall has developed a nourishing , low-fat, starch-based diet that not only promotes a broad range of dramatic and lasting health benefits such as weight (fat) loss, but most importantly can also reverse serious illness, such as heart disease, without drugs.

“To make it easier for people to eat well on the go, Dr. McDougall co-founded Dr. McDougall’s Right Food’s Inc., a producer of high quality vegetarian cuisine. The convenience meals are consistent with his health-supporting guidelines of 10% or less calories from fat, strictly vegetarian so there’s no cholesterol, and no added oils. Dr. McDougall is the Chairman of the Company.”

Dr. McDougall has something he wants to sell to you. He wants you to believe what he says, so he attempts to make a convincing argument for the things he claims.

Caveat Emptor!

What about good ol’ “Dr. Oz”?

He, like Dr. Phil, is an Oprah-made man.

Glancing at his website we find the following:
Dr. Mehmet Oz – I’m a cardiac surgeon, author, and host of the The Dr. Oz Show. “Feel better. Look younger. Live longer. What you need to do now!”
“Dr. Oz, host of “The Dr. Oz Show”, is Vice-Chair and Professor of Surgery at Columbia University.  He directs the Cardiovascular Institute and Complementary Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian Hospital. His research interests include heart replacement surgery, minimally invasive cardiac surgery, complementary medicine and health care policy.

Share Your Story!
Can’t Have Orgasms?
Are you a woman who has never had an orgasm, or have trouble achieving the Big “O?” Is your lack of orgasms affecting your relationship with your spouse? Have you tried everything to have an orgasm, but nothing works? Are you desperate to learn the secrets of having intense orgasms that you’ve always wanted? If so, we want to help! Please only submit your story if you’re willing to appear on The Dr. Oz Show!

Share Your Story!
NYC Area: Pain Relieving Home Remedy?
Do you live in NYC area and have a great pain relieving home remedy? Dr. Oz wants to feature your best remedy to fight those pains. Do you have a great remedy to cure a headache? Or help your backpain? Or what about that pesky toothache? We want to hear your remedies! Please only respond if you are willing to share your remedy on the show.

The Dr. Oz Ultimate Diet
This challenge will reboot your body in just 2 weeks! Dr. Oz is helping you rethink your entire diet, from what you buy at the grocery store to when and how you prepare your meals.

You’ll begin by implementing Dr. Oz’s Rule of 5, which forces you to throw away all the food in your house that list ANY of the following within the first 5 ingredients: simple sugars, syrups. white flours, saturated fats and trans fats.

Follow Dr. Oz’s Ultimate Diet to challenge the way you think about food and change the way you eat!

Home remedy? Honestly, Dr. Oz… you went to med school, residency and became board certified to request home remedies? Please!

And personally, if I was anorgasmic – meaning the inability to have orgasm – I don’t think I’d be wanting to show my face on national teevee with such an intimate problem. Dr. Oz caters to an inordinate and unhealthy desire to peer into other people’s lives. Folks used to call it nosiness, being snoopy, or being a busy-body.

We further find out that Dr. Oz has something to sell you, too! His “Rule of 5 Ultimate Diet.”

Then, there’s Trinity Broadcasting Network, and their programs like
“Doctor and the Word” with Dr. Reginald Cherry.

TBN promotes Dr. Cherry’s program by writing, “God has a unique pathway to healing for each of us. Join best-selling author and preventive specialist Reginald B. Cherry, M.D., along with his wife Linda, each week in “The Doctor and the Word,” as they discuss current medical topics, the latest scientific breakthroughs, and natural solutions to a variety of health problems. Learn what the Bible has to say and how to effectively combine your faith and the power of prayer with God’s natural provisions, as Dr. Cherry shares his experience of more than 25 years, to discover a unique pathway for your healing.”

Of course, they invite the unsuspecting and gullible “visit the website at http://www.DrCherry.org.” A visit to that url has this message: Are you interested in buying this domain name?

That, however, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to sell. With claims like “latest scientific breakthroughs,” discussion of “current medical topics,” and “natural solutions to a variety of health problems,” it’s quite evidently clear that Dr. Cherry has an agenda all his own. They obviously have information that YOU DON’T!

The unspoken message is: “Give heed to what I say!”

Caveat Emptor!

Behold the inordinate claims they all make:
Dr. Mark Chironna, Physician of the Soul, shows you how to achieve the life of your dreams.
Lifestyle Magazine – 
Your host Mike Tucker brings new topics each week dealing with health, spiritual and moral issues.
Doctor to Doctor
: Learn from doctors all over the world teaching you about nutrition, exercise, vitamins, aging, weight loss, health care real life, real questions, real answers from a biblical perspective.
Jordan Rubin 
- Join Jordan as he travels to organic farms, healthy eateries, and even the homes of individuals to help Americans achieve their perfect weight.
Alternative Health with Dr. Valerie Saxion – 
Dr. Valerie Saxion is the host of “Alternative Health with Valerie Saxion.” The program is dedicated to bringing the most up-to-date health and nutritional information to the viewing audience.

Organic food, miracle cures, alternative health (alternative to what?), good for what ails you, aging (you’re gonna’ die), vitamins (eat like your mama told you to), real answers… ad nauseum.

They’re all hocus pocus, smoke and mirrors, unsubstantiated undocumented, unscientific, unvalidated claims.

Remember: if it walks like, talks like a duck…

Oh yeah… before I forget (and just to remind you), ducks quack!

And to be blunt, those folks are practicing QUACKERY!