Warm Southern Breeze

"… there is no such thing as nothing."

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Help Wanted: Wal-Mart Door Greeter

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, May 20, 2013

One of my fine friends had recently commented about the speed of thought. I was reminded of a recent story, apropos to his remark.

It seems one of the local Wal-Marts had an opening for a Door Greeter job. The store manager published the help wanted notice & after receiving numerous applications, culled the job seekers to four.

Having thoroughly examined the applications, reviewed their resumes, and wanting to be as efficient as possible, he decided to conduct a group interview of the four sharpest candidates.

Because he wanted to see how they could think of their feet, he decided to ask them each a question and judge their response.

Turning to the first candidate, he said, “Young lady, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?”

She quickly replied saying, “A blink.”

“That’s good,” said the manager in response. “A blink is much less than a second, and the Scripture says Christ will come in the twinkling of an eye. That’s good.”

Turning to the second candidate, he asked Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Scandal hits Obama administration

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, January 12, 2013

Welcome to the idiocy of Alabama.

Obama’s Cabinet of yes men

By Dana Milbank, Published: JANUARY 11, 12:21 PM ET

President Obama hasn’t even begun his second term, yet already he has been ensnared by scandal.

Republicans have uncovered a shocking level of wrongdoing in the Oval Office, and I’m afraid what they say is true: The president is brazenly trying to fill his Cabinet with . . . people he likes.

Alas, the perfidy doesn’t end there. Not only is Obama naming agreeable people to his Cabinet, he is also — audaciously, flagrantly — nominating people who . . . agree with his policies.

Hello, operator? In Waco, Tex., I’d like the number for a Starr, Kenneth W.

Among the first to blow the whistle on the scandal was Sen. Jeff Sessions. The Alabamian, the ranking Republican on the Budget Committee, went on CNN on Thursday, immediately after Obama tapped Jack Lew to be Treasury secretary, to tell Wolf Blitzer why he would oppose confirmation.

“This is another person just very personally close to the president,” Sessions protested. Lew should not be confirmed, the senator said, because “the budget that he wrote was condemned by The Washington Post, virtually every major newspaper in the country.”

This was unorthodox — Sessions rarely admits to agreeing with anything he reads in The Post — but the truth of the statement was undeniable: Lew did write the budget. He was Obama’s budget director before becoming White House chief of staff; writing the budget was his job.

Sessions had Obama dead right. He is nominating like-minded people to serve in top jobs in his administration. And this scandal will continue until Obama finally accepts his constitutional obligation to name disagreeable detractors to his Cabinet.

There was a time — specifically, the entire history of the Republic until now — when nominating trusted advisers to key positions would not have been a scandal. Only three times in the 20th century (and six times before that) did the Senate reject proposed Cabinet officers, according to the Senate historical office. Lifelong judiciary appointments, particularly to the Supreme Court, are often contentious. But, the historical office notes, there is a Senate tradition that “presidents should be allowed a free hand in choosing their closest advisers.”

The last rejected Cabinet nominee, John Tower, was denied confirmation as defense secretary after accusations of Read the rest of this entry »

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Here’s a bank where Mitt Romney has no money. Ironically, it’s American.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 16, 2012

Smack-dab in the heart of rural, working class, coal-mining America.

Oh… the irony!

Read the rest of this entry »

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North Carolina Republicans Seek to Outlaw Scientific Research

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 24, 2012

Seriously.

They are.

It’s kinda’ like the gun saying, albeit with a peppermint twist:

“When ‘they’ outlaw science, only outlaws will be scientists.”

The whole scientific process means that folks get up and argue about it, and demonstrate their findings, and argue their conclusions, and implications for the same.

This is a prime example of Republican idiocy.

Utter stupidity brought to you by TEApublican TEAvangelical radicals.

Yes, radicals.

What’re these people?

Stupid?

Wait… that was a rhetorical question.

In North Carolina, a fight over sea levels and science

After a state report predicts higher ocean levels, based in part on global-warming data, new legislation seeks to all but outlaw such projections. The bill has drawn ridicule, as well as scrutiny of the state’s new political climate.

By David Zucchino, Los Angeles Times

5:00 AM PDT, June 24, 2012

RALEIGH, N.C. — When scientists at a state commission predicted that North Carolina’s sea levels could rise 39 inches by 2100, coastal business and development leaders weren’t alarmed at the prospect of flooding. They were outraged by the report itself.

They complained to state legislators, saying the projection could trigger regulations costing coastal businesses and homeowners millions of dollars.

Johnnie Mercer Wrightsville Beach NC

Waves lap against Johnnie Mercer’s Pier at Wrightsville Beach in Wilmington, N.C. (Paul Stephen / The Star-News / May 29, 2012)

The result is House Bill 819, a measure that would require sea level forecasts to be based on past patterns and would all but outlaw projections based on climate change data.

The bill, now under discussion by a legislative conference committee, has been ridiculed nationwide. It was mocked by comedian Stephen Colbert and savaged in a Scientific American blog post titled “N.C. Considers Making Sea Rise Illegal.”

It has also focused attention on the political shift in North Carolina, where Republicans in 2010 won control of the state Legislature for the first time in a century. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home., - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

No more “Click”…. no more “Clack.” Tappet Brothers hang up their act.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 8, 2012

Oh no!

What’ll I listen to on the weekends?

NPR’s Car Talk guys hang up wrenches, microphones

By Ros Krasny

BOSTON | Fri Jun 8, 2012 2:24pm EDT

(Reuters) – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of National Public Radio’s popular “Car Talk” program, will retire in September after decades of dispensing automotive repair and driving advice laced with a side of wicked humor.

Handout photo of Tom and Ray Magliozzi

Undated handout photo courtesy of Car Talk shows Tom (R) and Ray Magliozzi. REUTERS/Richard Howard/Car Talk/Handout

The pair, in their guise as the self-deprecating Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers, have been taping the weekly show for WBUR, Boston’s public radio affiliate, for 35 years, but say it is time to “stop and smell the cappuccino.”

Elder statesman Tom Magliozzi turns 75 this year.

“My brother has always been ‘work-averse,’” Ray Magliozzi, 63, said in a statement. “Now, apparently, even the one hour a week is killing him.”

NPR will Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News, End Of The Road | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What does a tax-free, worldwide fraud… er, religious media empire look like?

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, May 20, 2012

Recall the words to this song?

Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus…

Well, some folk don’t “love” Him because He first loved them, but because He “gives me power to get wealth.” And THAT, my brothers and sisters, is where it’s at! Money, money, money! Pass the cash! I want more! More! More! More!

Is this abuse?

You decide.

Perhaps the greater question is this: How can this be prevented?

And, this is ALL tax free.

Free.

Remember that word.

(And be sure to watch the hilarious video following the story below!)

Private jets, 13 mansions and a $100,000 mobile home just for the dogs: Televangelists ‘defrauded tens of million of dollars from Christian network’

By Nina Golgowski

PUBLISHED: 16:21 EST, 23 March 2012 | UPDATED: 16:22 EST, 23 March 2012

Two former employees of the world’s largest Christian television channel Trinity Broadcasting Network are accusing the non-profit of spending $50 million of its funding on extravagant personal expenses.

Among purchases, the network founded by Televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch, is accused of misappropriating its ‘charitable assets’ toward a $50 million jet, 13 mansions and a $100,000-mobile home for Mrs Crouch’s dogs.

Accused: Brittany Koper, center, recently filed a suit accusing the Trinity Broadcasting Network, its founders Janice Crouch (left) and Paul Crouch Sr (far right), in squandering $50 million of its funding

Their granddaughter, Brittany Koper, 26, recently filed her allegations in court after Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Human Breast Milk Ice Cream… now on sale in the UK

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, February 28, 2011

Those crazy Brits…

Oh well.

I’m surprised also that medical and other ethicists have not jumped on this issue – even that the government has allowed this, which is the sale of human tissue. Hair, however, is sold – but body parts, such as cornea, heart and/or valves, etc., are not. That, of course, is also entirely discounting that many medications are excreted in breast milk. For example also, what happens when the supply is gone?

Reckon what the LaLeche League thinks of this?

And then, there’s the inevitable humor that will result.

24 February 2011 Last updated at 13:40 ET

Breast milk ice cream goes on sale in Covent Garden

A restaurant in London’s Covent Garden is serving a new range of ice cream, made with breast milk.

The dessert, called Baby Gaga, is churned with donations from London mother Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Brief History of… Me

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, January 2, 2011

On occasion, we all possess some tendency toward voyeurism – not necessarily of the unhealthy kind. That is, on occasion, our own innate sense of curiosity is aroused within us and motivates us to see, read or hear things that are not intended specifically for us. While at times harmless, it can be deleterious – though this is not one such occasion.

What you’re about to read is… my e-mail.

I had been motivated to write a letter of introduction to a friend of a friend, and… well, read on! Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Sex, Drugs, and Rock-n-Roll

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, November 4, 2010

Periodically, friends and family come to me seeking understanding about various medical and health related issues, which often includes information about procedures and medications.

And on occasion, I continue to be asked to identify certain medications.

Particularly problematic are the numerous herbs and Over The Counter (OTC) non-prescription remedies that neither treat nor cure, yet proliferate and line the pockets of those unscrupulous enough to market and sell them to the unsuspectingly ignorant.

On one such occasion, I was asked by a friend to identify several foreign concoctions of apparent Asian origin, which I succeed in identifying, though I suspect I merely added levity to our communication. Fortunately, the request wasn’t anything of any seriously substantial nature.

It’s becoming more difficult to identify many items, though I count myself fortunate to have access to the numerous resources I do.

Here’s the text of my response. Perhaps you’ll find it enlightening. …Continue…

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This is only a test.

Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, October 7, 2010

Do you remember “back in the day” when occasionally, a horribly wretched noise would emerge from your teevee or raydeeo set and the announcer’s voice would say “This is only a test.”?

If you do, good. If you don’t… read up on your current history! *LOL*

Now, whatever you do, DON’T click here to …read more…

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