Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 15, 2013
An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts
Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.
But never you mind.
Pie and ice cream.
Who doesn’t like it?
Sounds dee-lish… right?
Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.
And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.
I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”
Somebody should tell those folks that… Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: Arizona, blog, California, cold, cuisine, dairy, eating, Florida, food, funny, Georgia, hot, humor, ice cream, Jacksonville Florida, laugh, Mason–Dixon line, Mayo Clinic, Minnesota, neapolitan, peaches, Pepin Wisconsin, photo, photograph, photography, pie, pork, Pork Pie, Rochester, Scottsdale Arizona, southern, temperatures, walnut, walnuts, Wisconsin, writer, writers | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 7, 2013
Can you guess why this is funny?
Hint: You MUST view the page.
And just so you’ll be reassured to know, it is NOT pornographic.
How birds lost their penises – LATimes.com Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: Animal, avian, biology, bird, birds, California, chicken, Cloaca, Current Biology, egg, Evolution, fertilization, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, innuendo, insemination, Internet, LA, LA Times, Los Angeles, news, penis, Programmed cell death, recreation, reproduction, rooster, science, Sex organ, sexual reproduction, silly, species, sperm, University of Florida, website | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, May 20, 2013
One of my fine friends had recently commented about the speed of thought. I was reminded of a recent story, apropos to his remark.
It seems one of the local Wal-Marts had an opening for a Door Greeter job. The store manager published the help wanted notice & after receiving numerous applications, culled the job seekers to four.
Having thoroughly examined the applications, reviewed their resumes, and wanting to be as efficient as possible, he decided to conduct a group interview of the four sharpest candidates.
Because he wanted to see how they could think of their feet, he decided to ask them each a question and judge their response.
Turning to the first candidate, he said, “Young lady, what’s the fastest thing you can think of?”
She quickly replied saying, “A blink.”
“That’s good,” said the manager in response. “A blink is much less than a second, and the Scripture says Christ will come in the twinkling of an eye. That’s good.”
Turning to the second candidate, he asked Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: Albert Einstein, American Express, AT&T, business, Christ, college, Faster-than-light, graduate, hillbilly, humor, IBM, joke, light, man, Miguel Alcubierre, NASA, scat, scatalogical, Speed of light, Starbucks, Wal Mart, Walmart, Warp Drive, woman | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, January 12, 2013
Welcome to the idiocy of Alabama.
By Dana Milbank, Published: JANUARY 11, 12:21 PM ET
President Obama hasn’t even begun his second term, yet already he has been ensnared by scandal.
Republicans have uncovered a shocking level of wrongdoing in the Oval Office, and I’m afraid what they say is true: The president is brazenly trying to fill his Cabinet with . . . people he likes.
Alas, the perfidy doesn’t end there. Not only is Obama naming agreeable people to his Cabinet, he is also — audaciously, flagrantly — nominating people who . . . agree with his policies.
Hello, operator? In Waco, Tex., I’d like the number for a Starr, Kenneth W.
Among the first to blow the whistle on the scandal was Sen. Jeff Sessions. The Alabamian, the ranking Republican on the Budget Committee, went on CNN on Thursday, immediately after Obama tapped Jack Lew to be Treasury secretary, to tell Wolf Blitzer why he would oppose confirmation.
“This is another person just very personally close to the president,” Sessions protested. Lew should not be confirmed, the senator said, because “the budget that he wrote was condemned by The Washington Post, virtually every major newspaper in the country.”
This was unorthodox — Sessions rarely admits to agreeing with anything he reads in The Post — but the truth of the statement was undeniable: Lew did write the budget. He was Obama’s budget director before becoming White House chief of staff; writing the budget was his job.
Sessions had Obama dead right. He is nominating like-minded people to serve in top jobs in his administration. And this scandal will continue until Obama finally accepts his constitutional obligation to name disagreeable detractors to his Cabinet.
There was a time — specifically, the entire history of the Republic until now — when nominating trusted advisers to key positions would not have been a scandal. Only three times in the 20th century (and six times before that) did the Senate reject proposed Cabinet officers, according to the Senate historical office. Lifelong judiciary appointments, particularly to the Supreme Court, are often contentious. But, the historical office notes, there is a Senate tradition that “presidents should be allowed a free hand in choosing their closest advisers.”
The last rejected Cabinet nominee, John Tower, was denied confirmation as defense secretary after accusations of Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home. | Tagged: Alabama, Barack Obama, Chuck Hagel, Dana Milbank, doofus, George W. Bush, GOP, humor, idiot, Jacob Lew, Jeff Sessions, news, Obama, Oval Office, politics, POTUS, president, Republican, sarcasm, senate, Senator, White House | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 16, 2012
Smack-dab in the heart of rural, working class, coal-mining America.
Oh… the irony!
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: America, American, Bain Capital, bank, banking, Coal, Coal mining, economy, employment, foreign, GOP, humor, irony, jobs, Made in America, Mining, Mitt, Mitt Romney, mittromney, money, outsourcing, policy, politics, president, Republican, Romney, sarcasm, system, United States, West Virginia, Working class, WV | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 8, 2012
What’ll I listen to on the weekends?
NPR’s Car Talk guys hang up wrenches, microphones
By Ros Krasny
BOSTON | Fri Jun 8, 2012 2:24pm EDT
(Reuters) – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of National Public Radio’s popular “Car Talk” program, will retire in September after decades of dispensing automotive repair and driving advice laced with a side of wicked humor.
Undated handout photo courtesy of Car Talk shows Tom (R) and Ray Magliozzi. REUTERS/Richard Howard/Car Talk/Handout
The pair, in their guise as the self-deprecating Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers, have been taping the weekly show for WBUR, Boston’s public radio affiliate, for 35 years, but say it is time to “stop and smell the cappuccino.”
Elder statesman Tom Magliozzi turns 75 this year.
“My brother has always been ‘work-averse,’” Ray Magliozzi, 63, said in a statement. “Now, apparently, even the one hour a week is killing him.”
NPR will Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News, End Of The Road | Tagged: Boston, Car Talk, funny, humor, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Morley Safer, National Public Radio, news, NPR, Ray Magliozzi, Tom Magliozzi, WBUR | 1 Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, May 20, 2012
Recall the words to this song?
“Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus… Oh, how I love Jesus…“
Well, some folk don’t “love” Him because He first loved them, but because He “gives me power to get wealth.” And THAT, my brothers and sisters, is where it’s at! Money, money, money! Pass the cash! I want more! More! More! More!
Is this abuse?
Perhaps the greater question is this: How can this be prevented?
And, this is ALL tax free.
Remember that word.
(And be sure to watch the hilarious video following the story below!)
Private jets, 13 mansions and a $100,000 mobile home just for the dogs: Televangelists ‘defrauded tens of million of dollars from Christian network’
By Nina Golgowski
PUBLISHED: 16:21 EST, 23 March 2012 | UPDATED: 16:22 EST, 23 March 2012
Two former employees of the world’s largest Christian television channel Trinity Broadcasting Network are accusing the non-profit of spending $50 million of its funding on extravagant personal expenses.
Among purchases, the network founded by Televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch, is accused of misappropriating its ‘charitable assets’ toward a $50 million jet, 13 mansions and a $100,000-mobile home for Mrs Crouch’s dogs.
Accused: Brittany Koper, center, recently filed a suit accusing the Trinity Broadcasting Network, its founders Janice Crouch (left) and Paul Crouch Sr (far right), in squandering $50 million of its funding
Their granddaughter, Brittany Koper, 26, recently filed her allegations in court after Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: abuse, Benny Hinn, Blab It and Grab It, California, corruption, Creflo Dollar, Crouch, Crouches, defraud, empire, excess, extravagance, FCC, fraud, humor, Jan Crouch, Jesus, Joel Osteen, Koper, lavish, Los Angeles Times, McVeigh, media, money, news, opulence, Paul Crouch, power, Protestant, religion, Trinity Broadcasting Network, video, Wall Watchers, waste, wealth, YouTube | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 9, 2012
Black and White Looney Tunes opening title
Who hasn’t heard the joke that “Bosses are like dirty diapers: Always on your ass, and full of shit.”?
It’s a proverbial oldie, but goodie.
And, like all humor, it must contain an element of truth.
While the purpose of this post is Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: administrator, Andy Griffith Show, behavior, Bin bag, Boss, business, Business Services, comedy, Cost-effectiveness analysis, Diaper, Disposable, employee, employment, funny, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C., Human Resources, humor, infant, laughter, office, Seinfeld, silly, supervisor, television, Textile, Three Stooges, Washing machine, Washington Post | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, February 28, 2011
Those crazy Brits…
I’m surprised also that medical and other ethicists have not jumped on this issue – even that the government has allowed this, which is the sale of human tissue. Hair, however, is sold – but body parts, such as cornea, heart and/or valves, etc., are not. That, of course, is also entirely discounting that many medications are excreted in breast milk. For example also, what happens when the supply is gone?
Reckon what the LaLeche League thinks of this?
And then, there’s the inevitable humor that will result.
24 February 2011 Last updated at 13:40 ET
A restaurant in London’s Covent Garden is serving a new range of ice cream, made with breast milk.
The dessert, called Baby Gaga, is churned with donations from London mother Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News | Tagged: baby, Bonjela, Breast milk, Calpol, Covent Garden, ethics, food, Gaga, health, human tissue, humor, ice cream, infant, irony, lactation, LaLeche League, London, Madagascar, Matt O'Connor, medical, milk, mothers, production, regulation, strange, unusual, weird | 1 Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, January 2, 2011
On occasion, we all possess some tendency toward voyeurism – not necessarily of the unhealthy kind. That is, on occasion, our own innate sense of curiosity is aroused within us and motivates us to see, read or hear things that are not intended specifically for us. While at times harmless, it can be deleterious – though this is not one such occasion.
What you’re about to read is… my e-mail.
I had been motivated to write a letter of introduction to a friend of a friend, and… well, read on! Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Uncategorized | Tagged: Counties, humor, Minnesota, New York, prison, recreation, Registered Nurse, San Luis Potosi, United States, Walla Walla, Wallpaper, Washington, Washington State Penitentiary | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, November 4, 2010
Periodically, friends and family come to me seeking understanding about various medical and health related issues, which often includes information about procedures and medications.
And on occasion, I continue to be asked to identify certain medications.
Particularly problematic are the numerous herbs and Over The Counter (OTC) non-prescription remedies that neither treat nor cure, yet proliferate and line the pockets of those unscrupulous enough to market and sell them to the unsuspectingly ignorant.
On one such occasion, I was asked by a friend to identify several foreign concoctions of apparent Asian origin, which I succeed in identifying, though I suspect I merely added levity to our communication. Fortunately, the request wasn’t anything of any seriously substantial nature.
It’s becoming more difficult to identify many items, though I count myself fortunate to have access to the numerous resources I do.
Here’s the text of my response. Perhaps you’ll find it enlightening. …Continue…
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: balm, Big Pharma, bull, come, cost, drugs, fertilty, gents, go, healing, health, health insurance, herbs, humor, import, insurance, ladies, levity, light hearted, Mad Dog, marketing, MD 20/20, medication, medicine, money, monkey, monkey business, nuts, peach, pharma, pharmacy, rock and roll, sex, testicles, veterinary, viagra, voyeur, WD40 | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, October 7, 2010
Do you remember “back in the day” when occasionally, a horribly wretched noise would emerge from your teevee or raydeeo set and the announcer’s voice would say “This is only a test.”?
If you do, good. If you don’t… read up on your current history! *LOL*
Now, whatever you do, DON’T click here to …read more…
Posted in - Uncategorized | Tagged: fun, funny, humor, laugh, radio, teeve, test, tv | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you
what I’m going to do.
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: cute, Democrat, funny, hell, humor, laughter, Obama, Obama-rama, politics, president | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: conditions, cute, economic, economy, funny, good humor, healing, health, humor, joke, laugh, laughter, medicine, one liners | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Yesterday, though I was in an emotional funk, recovering from a state of mental numbness brought about by the week’s events, I had the wherewithal to go to the grocery store for a few items.
Walking down one aisle to search for an item, I passed by and stood near a young couple with two equally young children, the elder a girl. I suppose the children were aged perhaps no more than 5 and 3.
Having found their goods, the family foursome walked to the end of the aisle near the end caps and Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know | Tagged: babes, children, family, funny, grocery, humor, Kroger, laughter, life, Smyrna, store, talk, Tennessee, TN | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, July 4, 2010
Why is everybody always picking on me?
Originally posted on Friday, June 4, 2010 at 8:19am
Today, I needed directions, and happening upon one of Murfreesboro‘s finest, I thought ‘what better source?,’ gave pursuit, and tooted my horn occasionally along the way, though I was apparently unseen and unheard.
Winding up at my original destination, I pulled along side and behind, stepped out and greeted the officer, whom then asked, “were you trying to flag me down?”
Laughingly, I said, “yes, I was!”
“I’m sorry,” replied the officer.
I explained I was needing some directions, and the officer left briefly to get some papers and would return momentarily, so I waited.
Returning, the officer said, “I’ll be glad to show you the location if you’ll follow me.” So we got into our respective cars. As I closed my door, I then noticed the officer got out of the patrol car and began to walk toward my vehicle, so I did likewise.
The officer walked over to my vehicle and placing a small piece of paper on my car’s hood began to write on it and said, “Here’s my card, if you need anything, call me. I work (insert days and times here), or just call me anytime. Can you read that?”
Taking the card, I said “yes, thank you,” called her by name, shook her hand, then proceeded to follow her.
Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.
Reckon what THAT was all about?
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: ask, chase, directions, FaceBook, funny, history, humor, inquire, Kitsap County Washington, Murfreesboro, officer, Officer (armed forces), Organizations, police, Police car, Police officer, removed, repost, sheriff, stop, story | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, June 28, 2010
Makes sense to me!
Faux legs, faux pas!
Bionic British cat gets faux paws
LONDON – Oscar the cat may have lost one of his nine lives, but his new prosthetic paws make him one of the world’s few bionic cats.
After losing his two rear paws in a nasty encounter with a combine harvester last October, the black cat with green eyes was outfitted with …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: animals, animules, artificial limbs, bionic, British, cat, England, faux, faux pas, faux paws, four, funny, humor, legs, lives, London, news, pas, paws, pets, prosthetics, surgery | Leave a Comment »