Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, July 15, 2013
An alternate title for this entry might be: Walnuts, Pies, Strippers & Experts
Of course, that makes no sense. And for some, it makes neither cents, nor dollars.
But never you mind.
Pie and ice cream.
Who doesn’t like it?
Sounds dee-lish… right?
Any kind of pie, and almost any kind of ice cream. I say “any kind” with a caveat. Any kind EXCEPT Neapolitan. That’s horrid. Truly horrid. Whoever imagined the idea of “Neapolitan” ice cream is probably now suffering eternal punishment – a special torture reserved exclusively for the damned.
And, perhaps somebody should tell those folks.
I mean to refer to the folks that came up with a name like “Georgia Walnut Pie.”
Somebody should tell those folks that… Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: Arizona, blog, California, cold, cuisine, dairy, eating, Florida, food, funny, Georgia, hot, humor, ice cream, Jacksonville Florida, laugh, Mason–Dixon line, Mayo Clinic, Minnesota, neapolitan, peaches, Pepin Wisconsin, photo, photograph, photography, pie, pork, Pork Pie, Rochester, Scottsdale Arizona, southern, temperatures, walnut, walnuts, Wisconsin, writer, writers | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 7, 2013
Can you guess why this is funny?
Hint: You MUST view the page.
And just so you’ll be reassured to know, it is NOT pornographic.
How birds lost their penises – LATimes.com Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: Animal, avian, biology, bird, birds, California, chicken, Cloaca, Current Biology, egg, Evolution, fertilization, funny, hilarious, humor, humorous, innuendo, insemination, Internet, LA, LA Times, Los Angeles, news, penis, Programmed cell death, recreation, reproduction, rooster, science, Sex organ, sexual reproduction, silly, species, sperm, University of Florida, website | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, June 24, 2012
It’d be funny if it weren’t sad.
Or, would it be sad if it weren’t funny?
Either way, it’s sad and funny.
Or, should that be ironic?
Whatever it is, it’s weird… and unjust.
The monks just want to sell caskets. That’s the simple plea of a relatively simple case, in which a Louisiana monastery—St. Joseph Abbey, about an hour outside New Orleans—is suing the Louisiana State Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors for the right to sell their handmade wooden caskets. Only licensed funeral establishments can sell caskets in Louisiana, which means that St. Joseph’s monks would have to hire a funeral director, install embalming equipment, and construct a funeral parlor even though they have no plans to embalm the deceased or perform actual funerals. “They would have to take an exam about the whole panoply of funeral directing,” says Scott Bullock, an attorney with Institute for Justice, which is representing the monks. “It’s like telling someone who sells shoes that they have to first become a podiatrist.”
Photograph by David Moore/Gallery Stock
St. Joseph Abbey, founded in 1889 as part of the Order of Saint Benedict, has been producing caskets for as long as its monks can remember, but until recently, they were only used for the private burials of their own members. In the 1990s they built a few coffins for the funerals of local bishops and the Catholic community began to take notice. “People would come to our funerals and see them and ask Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated, - Politics... that "dirty" little "game" that first begins in the home. | Tagged: abbey, Benedictine monks, Casket, Catholic, Catholic Church, coffin, death, faith, Federal Trade Commission, funeral, Funeral director, funeral home, funeral parlor, funerary, funny, government, Hurricane Katrina, independence, injustice, ironic, justice, law, lawsuit, Louisiana, monastery, monks, news, Order of Saint Benedict, Order of St Benedict, OSB, religion, sad, Scott Bullock, self sufficient, St Benedict, strange, unjust, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, June 8, 2012
What’ll I listen to on the weekends?
NPR’s Car Talk guys hang up wrenches, microphones
By Ros Krasny
BOSTON | Fri Jun 8, 2012 2:24pm EDT
(Reuters) – Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of National Public Radio’s popular “Car Talk” program, will retire in September after decades of dispensing automotive repair and driving advice laced with a side of wicked humor.
Undated handout photo courtesy of Car Talk shows Tom (R) and Ray Magliozzi. REUTERS/Richard Howard/Car Talk/Handout
The pair, in their guise as the self-deprecating Click and Clack, the Tappett Brothers, have been taping the weekly show for WBUR, Boston’s public radio affiliate, for 35 years, but say it is time to “stop and smell the cappuccino.”
Elder statesman Tom Magliozzi turns 75 this year.
“My brother has always been ‘work-averse,’” Ray Magliozzi, 63, said in a statement. “Now, apparently, even the one hour a week is killing him.”
NPR will Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Read 'em and weep: The Daily News, End Of The Road | Tagged: Boston, Car Talk, funny, humor, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Morley Safer, National Public Radio, news, NPR, Ray Magliozzi, Tom Magliozzi, WBUR | 1 Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, April 13, 2012
From our “News of the ‘Damn! That’s weird!’” files.
He should be thankful it didn’t strike him in the head.
But then again, perhaps he’d already been touched in the head.
Weightlifter says dumbbell fell on bullet that shot him in shoulder
A 56-year-old weightlifter in Modesto reportedly shot himself after dropping a dumbbell on a bullet.
Modesto police officers responded to the call Wednesday night and found the man wounded in the shoulder.
He told police he was Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: .22 Long Rifle, Adams, Bullet, Cartridge (firearms), Chris Adams, Dumbbell, funny, ironic, Modesto, Modesto California, news, odd, peculiar, strange, weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Friday, March 9, 2012
Black and White Looney Tunes opening title
Who hasn’t heard the joke that “Bosses are like dirty diapers: Always on your ass, and full of shit.”?
It’s a proverbial oldie, but goodie.
And, like all humor, it must contain an element of truth.
While the purpose of this post is Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: administrator, Andy Griffith Show, behavior, Bin bag, Boss, business, Business Services, comedy, Cost-effectiveness analysis, Diaper, Disposable, employee, employment, funny, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C., Human Resources, humor, infant, laughter, office, Seinfeld, silly, supervisor, television, Textile, Three Stooges, Washing machine, Washington Post | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Thursday, October 7, 2010
Do you remember “back in the day” when occasionally, a horribly wretched noise would emerge from your teevee or raydeeo set and the announcer’s voice would say “This is only a test.”?
If you do, good. If you don’t… read up on your current history! *LOL*
Now, whatever you do, DON’T click here to …read more…
Posted in - Uncategorized | Tagged: fun, funny, humor, laugh, radio, teeve, test, tv | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you
what I’m going to do.
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: cute, Democrat, funny, hell, humor, laughter, Obama, Obama-rama, politics, president | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
Wives are having sex with their husbands because Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: conditions, cute, economic, economy, funny, good humor, healing, health, humor, joke, laugh, laughter, medicine, one liners | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Yesterday, though I was in an emotional funk, recovering from a state of mental numbness brought about by the week’s events, I had the wherewithal to go to the grocery store for a few items.
Walking down one aisle to search for an item, I passed by and stood near a young couple with two equally young children, the elder a girl. I suppose the children were aged perhaps no more than 5 and 3.
Having found their goods, the family foursome walked to the end of the aisle near the end caps and Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Faith, Religion, Goodness - What is the Soul of a man?, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know | Tagged: babes, children, family, funny, grocery, humor, Kroger, laughter, life, Smyrna, store, talk, Tennessee, TN | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Sunday, July 4, 2010
Why is everybody always picking on me?
Originally posted on Friday, June 4, 2010 at 8:19am
Today, I needed directions, and happening upon one of Murfreesboro‘s finest, I thought ‘what better source?,’ gave pursuit, and tooted my horn occasionally along the way, though I was apparently unseen and unheard.
Winding up at my original destination, I pulled along side and behind, stepped out and greeted the officer, whom then asked, “were you trying to flag me down?”
Laughingly, I said, “yes, I was!”
“I’m sorry,” replied the officer.
I explained I was needing some directions, and the officer left briefly to get some papers and would return momentarily, so I waited.
Returning, the officer said, “I’ll be glad to show you the location if you’ll follow me.” So we got into our respective cars. As I closed my door, I then noticed the officer got out of the patrol car and began to walk toward my vehicle, so I did likewise.
The officer walked over to my vehicle and placing a small piece of paper on my car’s hood began to write on it and said, “Here’s my card, if you need anything, call me. I work (insert days and times here), or just call me anytime. Can you read that?”
Taking the card, I said “yes, thank you,” called her by name, shook her hand, then proceeded to follow her.
Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.
Reckon what THAT was all about?
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - My Hometown is the sweetest place I know, - Transfer: How do we get THERE from HERE? (Add a 'T'.) | Tagged: ask, chase, directions, FaceBook, funny, history, humor, inquire, Kitsap County Washington, Murfreesboro, officer, Officer (armed forces), Organizations, police, Police car, Police officer, removed, repost, sheriff, stop, story | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, June 28, 2010
Makes sense to me!
Faux legs, faux pas!
Bionic British cat gets faux paws
LONDON – Oscar the cat may have lost one of his nine lives, but his new prosthetic paws make him one of the world’s few bionic cats.
After losing his two rear paws in a nasty encounter with a combine harvester last October, the black cat with green eyes was outfitted with …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: animals, animules, artificial limbs, bionic, British, cat, England, faux, faux pas, faux paws, four, funny, humor, legs, lives, London, news, pas, paws, pets, prosthetics, surgery | Leave a Comment »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Saturday, June 12, 2010
(If you don’t laugh out loud at this, you’re just not trying!)
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he”s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?”
“That’s easy. He’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.”
So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he”s looking for a male or female horse.
“A female horth.”
So he shows him a prized filly.
“Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?”
So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.
“Nith eyeth, can I thee her …Continue…
Posted in - Did they REALLY say that?, - Even MORE Uncategorized! | Tagged: cute, dwarf, funny, hiliarious, horse, Horse Whisperer, humor, joke, laugh, lisp, midget, speech impediment, whisperer | 2 Comments »
Posted by Warm Southern Breeze on Monday, January 18, 2010
By now, it’s painfully evident that NBC made a critical programming error by ousting longtime funnyman and Tonight Show host Jay Leno, and substituting with the former Saturday night Live writer and most definitely un-funny Late Night host, Conan O’Brien.
Almost immediately, NBC’s viewership numbers for its venerable Tonight Show declined. The honeymoon was over in under a week.
It’s no wonder.
O’Brien once wrote for SNL – which has been beating that dead horse ever since its initial hey day run from 1975-80 when the late John Belushi and Gilda Radner, with their equally genius comedic companions Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin and Bill Murray ruled the weekend comedy airwaves.
SNL has not been funny since. Well, perhaps there’s an episodic exception when Chris Farley appeared to take the spot emptied by Bellushi’s untimely death. Then Chris died… in much the same fashion and same age as Belushi. Not funny.
But back to O’Brien.
His abusive tenor, gutter “humor” – a masturbating bear? – and physical gesticulations are reminiscent of something painfully UNfunny.
Physical gags were John Ritter’s forte, but O’Brien’s intentionally spastic movements remind one of nothing more than a late teen attempting to be funny by behaving as a child.
Palinly… er, plainly, they’re a painful chore to watch, and his “jokes” are even worse to hear.
So, “goodbye,” and good riddance, Conan!
Maybe Fox will do you some good.
Oh, and by the way… it’s a masturbating bull – beef stroganoff.
Posted in - Even MORE Uncategorized!, - Lost In Space: TOTALLY Discombobulated | Tagged: barbarian, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, comedy, Conan, Dan Aykroyd, Fox, funny, Gilda Radner, host, humor, idiot, Jane Curtin, John Belushi, jokes, Late Night, Leno, NBC, O'Brien, painful, programming, Saturday Night Live, SNL, teevee, television, Tonight Show, viewers | Leave a Comment »