More “Banned in Bama” beverages, aka The Alabama brew hah-hah

That title is supposed to cute. So laugh!

Here’s the deal: It seems the brilliant intellectually challenged folk in Montgomery seem to think that the word BASTARD is somehow bad.

Fat Bastard wines – Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay & Chardonnay-based Blends, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Sauvignon Blanc & Sauvignon Blanc-based Blends

Recall that “bastard” can have several meanings. One, is as it applies to a type of milled file. Two, is as it applies to the child born to an unwed mother. And there certainly seems to be no shortage of those these days. Of course, it’s not the child’s fault, but words describe things, and like it or not, a child of an unwed mother is a bastard.

I guess next up, they’ll have to remove the French Fat Bastard wine, too. It’s been sold in Alabama for quite some time.

Cycles Gladiator wine label, an 1895 poster promoting the Gladiator brand bicycle.

Of course, the astute readers will recall the last international fiasco with the state Alcoholic Beverage Control Board with the Cycles Gladiator wine.

The Hahn Family Wines company had to create an entirely different label specifically for Cycles Gladiator wine to be sold in the state. The label was an historic poster from 1895 – and that same year printer G. Massias unveiled one of the great Parisian art posters showcasing the stylish Gladiator bicycle.

Naturally, news of the rancorous decision by Alabama’a ABC drove sales for the wine through the roof, at home, and abroad.

However, I sincerely doubt it’s any complex marketing ploy.

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Alabama won’t allow Founders Brewing Co.’s award-winning ‘Dirty Bastard’ ale on state shelves

Published: Friday, April 13, 2012, 12:40 PM     Updated: Thursday, April 19, 2012, 8:12 PM

By Garret Ellison | gellison@mlive.com

Update: Beverage control board says brewery can appeal

GRAND RAPIDS, MI — As Michigan craft brewers continue to expand their distribution footprint across the country, Founders Brewing Co. is running into some roadblocks in the South.

The Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board is refusing to register two of Founders’ beers after the regulatory agency objected to the word ‘bastard’ on the labels.

“It’s one of those silly things,” said Dave Engbers, Founders vice president.

The Alabama board is

Alabama Governor Bentley gives Marshall county chicken farm $5K tax dollar$ to buy light bulbs during proration

This is stuff for the Cobert Report!

Sad, but true folks…

Alabama Governor, Robert J. Bentley, MD (R)

 Alabama‘s Republican Governor  Robert Bentley – who has said he would take no salary until Alabama achieves “full employment” (whatever that is!) – has given a private farm in rural Marshall county $5000 to buy light bulbs.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Bear in mind also, that the state is already in a period of budgetary proration.

What’s that?

Alabama’s Constitution forbids debt spending, so the budget must equal – not exceed – the state’s revenue.

So, in accordance with the state’s Constitution, on March 16, 2012, Governor Robert J. Bentley declared a proration of  “10.6 percent for the state General Fund for non-education services, cutting budgeted spending by $188 million because of a shortfall in expected revenues.”

Can you smell the hypocrisy cooking?

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Bentley awards grant to help business upgrade lighting

May 22, 2012

MONTGOMERY – Gov. Robert Bentley awarded a $5,000 grant to help a farm business in Marshall County reduce energy consumption and save money.

The grant will help Maze Farms Inc.

So long, Goober… and, thanks for the memories.

The story of an Alabama man who made good, and gave back significantly to his home state.

This line of his will get you started: “We were so poor that we’d eat beans for breakfast, drink water for lunch and swell up for supper.“

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George “Goober” Lindsey dead at 83

Posted: May 06, 2012 10:37 AM CDT
Updated: May 06, 2012 12:33 PM CDT
Posted by Micca Terrell

Alabama-born & raised George Lindsey (1928-2012), famous for his role as “Goober” in the 1960′s sit-com The Andy Griffith Show

NASHVILLE, TN (WSMV) -Actor and comedian George “Goober” Lindsey died early Sunday morning after a brief illness, according to his publicist. He was 83 years old.

Lindsey was born on December 17, 1928 in Fairfield, Alabama, and grew up in the small town of Jasper.  Sources tell Channel 4 that The Andy Griffith Show and Hee Haw star will be buried there.

Funeral arrangements are being handled Marshall Donnelly Combs Funeral Home of Nashville.

As a young boy, Lindsey’s best buddies were his dog One Spot and his pal Sappo, a lifelong friend and a popular foil for Lindsey’s stand-up comedy act. He became interested in acting after seeing a production of Oklahoma! when he was just 14.

Lindsey liked to hang around his Aunt Ethel’s gas station, where the mechanics wore felt caps to keep the grease and oil from dripping into their hair. Those caps would inspire Lindsey’s trademark “beanie” worn by Goober.

Gas station notwithstanding, the Lindsey family of George’s youth felt the full weight of the Great Depression. Those hard times were later a rich source of material for his comedy act, with jokes guaranteed to get a laugh, such as: “We were so poor that we’d eat beans for breakfast, drink water for lunch and swell up for supper.”

As a student in Jasper, Lindsey was a good athlete. At Walker County High School, he excelled in football and basketball. One of

BCS playoff system set to die. Will NCAA football ever be the same again?

No use crying over spilled milk, eh?

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BCS Head Calls Status Quo Dead

• April 25, 2012, 6:09 PM ET

Late Wednesday afternoon, Bowl Championship Series executive director Bill Hancock said the words that many college football fans have been waiting more than a decade to hear: “The BCS as we know it with the exact same policies will not continue.”

PAC-12 Commissioner Larry Scott / Associated Press

Hancock made the declaration at the end of a day of meetings of BCS leaders at a hotel in Hollywood, Fla., to negotiate possible new formats for when the BCS’s current TV contract expires after the January 2014 bowl games. College football’s 11 major-conference commissioners plus Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick will meet again Thursday and hope to release a shortlist of formats under consideration.

Hancock clarified that

Report: Illegal immigration now zero sum game

The original title was “Illegal immigration ceases.”

To which I began this entry with “Okay, maybe not.”

But, according to the findings made in this independent report, it’s pretty near zero, if not already in the negative numbers.

And, for the fascist, racist right-wing legislators in the states of Alabama & Arizona, that’s good news!

Why?

That means they can stop collaborating with Kris Kobach to write racist legislation, and start working on genuinely serious problems!

Of course, this de-escalation from a “crisis” may actually show them up for what they are: Clueless Incompetent Boobs.

BTW… this was also reported on the NPR afternoon news program “All Things Considered.”

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Released: April 23, 2012

Net Migration from Mexico Falls to Zero—and Perhaps Less

by Jeffrey Passel, D’Vera Cohn and Ana Gonzalez-Barrera

The largest wave of immigration in history from a single country to the United States has come to a standstill. After four decades that brought 12 million current immigrants—more than half of whom came illegally—the net migration flow from Mexico to the United States has stopped—and may have reversed, according to a new analysis by the Pew Hispanic Center of multiple government data sets from both countries.

The standstill appears to be the result of many factors, including the weakened U.S. job and housing construction markets, heightened border enforcement, a rise in deportations, the growing dangers associated with illegal border crossings, the long-term decline in Mexico’s birth rates and changing economic conditions in Mexico.

The report is based on the Center’s analysis of data from five different Mexican government sources and four U.S. government sources.

Off duty cop in hoodie gets roughed up in Montgomery, Alabama

Shades of Trayvon…

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Off-duty Montgomery police officer claims racial profiling over hoodie incident at mall

Published: Monday, April 23, 2012, 10:56 AM     Updated: Monday, April 23, 2012, 11:44 AM

By Kent Faulk — The Birmingham News

MONTGOMERY, Alabama — A Montgomery police officer claims in a lawsuit that he was off-duty in plain clothes at a Montgomery mall last month when security officers assaulted him after ordering him to remove his sweatshirt hoodie.

Terence Scott, 26, filed the lawsuit April 11 in Montgomery County Circuit Court against ERMC, a Chattanooga, Tenn.,-based company that provides security for Eastdale Mall. The lawsuit also names one security guard and two other unnamed security guards as defendants.

Eastdale Mall is not named as a defendant in the lawsuit that seeks unspecified amounts in damages.

Efforts to reach an attorney for ERMC have been unsuccessful this morning.

Among the claims in Scott’s civil lawsuit are negligence, assault and battery, wantonness, and that security guards used

The snails are coming! The snails are coming!

A case in point for this state which also plaguing Florida with pythons and boa constrictors… non-native species that populate and because they have no natural predators, become problems.

Alabama State officials believe that a few of the Amazonian snails were likely dumped into the pond after they had grown too large for a home aquarium. Pet stores sold the snails for years, but that practice is now illegal.

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Amazonian snails approaching Mobile-Tensaw Delta, may be here to stay

Published: Sunday, April 15, 2012, 8:03 AM
Updated: Monday, April 16, 2012, 10:44 AM
By Ben Raines, Press-Register

A clump of Amazonian apple snail eggs clings to a cattail stem at the edge of Three Mile Creek. The Telegraph Road bridge is in the background, which is slightly less than a mile from the mouth of the Mobile River. Despite three years of control efforts, the snails appear to be colonizing the lower reaches of Three Mile Creek, creeping ever closer to the Mobile-Tensaw Delta. (Press-Register/Ben Raines)

MOBILE, Alabama — The snails are winning.

The Amazonian apple snails first discovered in Mobile’s Langan Park in 2008 have steadily expanded their range downstream in Three Mile Creek, ever closer to the Mobile-Tensaw Delta. Biologists contacted by the newspaper said the snails may be here to stay, with a breeding population already too well established to eradicate.

A Press-Register survey this week found the snail’s distinctive pink egg masses in reeds surrounding the U.S. 43 bridge on Telegraph Road, less than a mile from the Mobile River, and as close to the Delta as they’ve been found.
“The farthest I’ve seen them was the trestle at the I-165 bridge, so that’s a little farther down than normal,” said Dave Armstrong, a biologist with the Alabama Division of Wildlife and Freshwater Fisheries. “Obviously, they’ve migrated a little farther. That’s not good news.

Armstrong said the snails remain entrenched in the pond at Langan Park despite multiple applications of copper sulfate, which is lethal to snails but not fish and other aquatic creatures. The numbers in the pond are way down from the high point two years ago, he said, but the pond remains a breeding ground.

When wildlife officials realized that baseball-sized Amazonian snails had colonized the pond, their worst-case scenario involved the giant gastropods escaping into Three Mile Creek. Biologists fear the non-native snails because they have been shown to eat 95 percent of the aquatic vegetation in some natural systems, leaving behind murky, algae-filled water.

In the fall of 2009, dozens of snails could be seen clinging to rocks in the riffles below the pond’s dam at the edge of the park. Surveys of Three Mile Creek at the time revealed

Alabama state Rep Lynn Greer (R-Rogersville) demonstrates GOP idiocy

More GOP stupidity.

I’ll save the diatribe.

Just read.

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Fire officials, fireworks industry divided over proposed overhaul of state regulations

Published: Wednesday, April 18, 2012, 6:10 PM
Updated: Wednesday, April 18, 2012, 6:13 PM

By George Altman
Press-Register

MONTGOMERY, Alabama — A proposed overhaul of state fireworks regulations drew firefighters and fireworks industry representatives to a public hearing in a House committee this afternoon, but each group was divided internally over the legislation.

More than a dozen people spoke either for or against House Bill 579 during a House Commerce and Small Business Committee meeting.

Representatives of the state’s municipalities came out strongly against the proposal, saying it would sap their control over regulating what fireworks can be sold and used locally.

“If something’s not broke, why (do) you want to fix it?” Kenny Clemons, executive director of

Bama fan wants to get freaky with Nick Saban… REALLY FREAKY.

We’ve known it all along.

Roll Tide fans are weird.

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Alabama Fan Contemplates Whether He Would Sleep With Nick Saban

Published on: April 17, 2012 | Written by: Clay Travis

This is why checking the OKTC tips folder is so entertaining — because occasionally you get unexpected emails like this:

“At the Florabama in Orange Beach, AL this weekend, a Bama fan told me unprovoked that he would have sex with Nick Saban. I asked him to say it on camera. He does. Below is the video of said Bammer musing over what he would and would not do with Nick Saban. Only problem is that the video is really dark.”

Nick Saban & BCS trophy

This is how much

Hammad Memon, Huntsville Alabama Murder Suspect Caught in Dallas Fleeing with Mother

The murderers parents are now criminals.

Hindering prosecution is a Class C felony in Alabama.

Code of Alabama, 1975 – Section 13A-10-43

Hindering prosecution in the first degree.

(a) A person commits the crime of hindering prosecution in the first degree if with the intent to hinder the apprehension, prosecution, conviction or punishment of another for conduct constituting a murder or a Class A or B felony, he renders criminal assistance to such person.

(b) Hindering prosecution in the first degree is a Class C felony.

(Acts 1977, No. 607, p. 812, §4636; Acts 1979, No. 79- 471, p. 862, §1.)

http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/codeofalabama/1975/13A-10-43.htm

Bend over, and kiss your career and life ‘bye-bye.’

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UPDATE: Local doctor charged with aiding teen murder suspect flee

Dr. Iqbal Memon, MD, booking photo, Madison County Sheriff Department, Huntsville, Alabama

April 16, 2012

By Kelly Kazek kelly@athensnews-courier.com

MADISON — A doctor who practiced in Athens was arrested Friday night by Madison police, accused of hindering prosecution for allegedly aiding his teen son, a murder suspect, in an attempt to flee Alabama.

Dr. Iqbal Memon, who occasionally wrote medical columns for The News Courier several years ago, was arrested after his son, Hammad Memon, 17, was captured in Dallas with his mother and 6-year-old sister. Authorities said Hammad had a Pakistani passport in his possession.

The family members apparently left Alabama Wednesday or Thursday after an express mail delivery person reported Hammad had signed for an envelope believed to contain a passport, which was a violation of the terms of Hammad’s bail on a charge of shooting to death classmate Todd Brown, 14, at Discovery Middle School in 2010. Brown lived in Madison with his mother at the time; his father Michael Brown is from Tanner.

Dr. Iqbal Ahmed Memon, MD practices with Children's Associates, 108 Sanders St #B, Athens, AL 35611 (256) 216-8863.

The Memon family lives in Madison, where Memon had a second physician’s office.

Hammad was 14 at the time of the shooting but was to be tried as an adult on June 18.

Dr. Memon was charged with hindering prosecution after Madison Police investigators suspected he was not being forthcoming about his family’s location.